What is a social norm in America that you feel is ridiculous?

Discussion in 'Political Opinions & Beliefs' started by Adam Somlec, Jul 16, 2015.

  1. GeorgiaAmy

    GeorgiaAmy Well-Known Member

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    I am sure you cultured Indiana folk refer to your black neighbors, friends, and coworkers as black with hispanic decent or black Caribbean islander, but here in the ATL they are all blacks. We are all whites. There is no fear here when using those words. We choose not to overcomplicate. We may be different colors here, but we all get along. We are all Georgians, Americans, southerners.
     
  2. Daggdag

    Daggdag Well-Known Member

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    I am referring to the inability to understand that not all black people are decended from Africa, not the PC bs of not calling black people black.

    My friend is from Jamaica and used to live in Georgia. According to him, most racists he dealt with while living there told him to "go back to Africa". Anyone who looks at him and hears him speak should know he is from Jamaica. But some people are too dumb to understand that not all black people are from Africa. According to one guy he met, Jamaicans, and all other Caribbean and South American blacks were decended from African slaves who escapes the gulf coast states by boat, and that there are no blacks naturually except in Africa.
     
  3. ballantine

    ballantine Banned

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    Just reading your posts. Yes, you're an interesting character. :)

    The one that said "you lack substance and you lack courage". ;)

    Ha ha - you have a sponsor?

    My sponsor told me: people, places, and things. The alcohol is but a metaphor, it's the "solution", not the problem.

    Oh well.... I'm in the Los Angeles area, there are nothing "but" actors out here. The entertainment industry seems to overwhelm a lot of people...

    Hm. Nine years five months and 13 days' worth.

    Yes, I'm good at that. But now I have more information than I had before. :)
     
  4. GeorgiaAmy

    GeorgiaAmy Well-Known Member

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    I am sober, have been for quite some time.
    It is positively mind boggling to me when posters here comment on American affairs having never stepped foot on US soil. While you do your research on me, you will notice that I openly identify myself, primarily speak about my own personal observation and experience. Primarily I discuss what is going on in Metro Atlanta.
    Tell me how many AA meetings you attended. What aspects of Alcoholics Anonymous do you find bothersome?
    You would have already identified as a friend of Bill W. if you had any involvement in AA.
    That you think actors fill up AA meetings is cute....such an ignorant, stereotypical notion.
    Psychologically, I hurt your wittle feelings and you are trying to hurt mine. Kinda cute and sad.
     
  5. GeorgiaAmy

    GeorgiaAmy Well-Known Member

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    Atlanta has the busiest airport in the world. We have the most diverse metropolis in the world. Business thrives here. Your little "go back to Africa" quip is so terribly obtuse, idiotic, ignorant, etc....I refuse to dignify it with a response. "Some people are too dumb"...yep. You.
    I wish stupid was a punishable offense.
     
  6. ballantine

    ballantine Banned

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    Well, we're kinda diverting the thread here... let's try to bring it back after we're done.

    I don't know, I lost track. Some days I go to three, other days I don't go at all. Nine years' worth, approximately one per day give or take. A lot. Three thousand meetings, maybe more.

    I'm really the wrong person to ask that of. "Don't use me as an example", 'kay? I'm a highly unorthodox member of Alcoholics Anonymous. I go there specifically because I don't want to drink. I do not frequent any meetings where any other type of substance is discussed or addressed. I belong to a specific AA group in Hollywood that encourages the use of marijuana, instead of lumping all drugs together into the "undesirable" category. Singleness of purpose, is my mantra. I haven't touched a drop in almost ten years, so it's working. This particular equilibrium works "for me", and that's all that matters. I sponsor others (do you?) and I'm also involved in H&I and the annual local convention.

    I have lots of friends.

    Hm. You're in Atlanta? You probably have a few engineers in your meetings, yes? Lockheed types, Martin-Marietta, like that? How about pilots, you got those?

    Hollywood is very different. "Very". My first meeting I ever went to, I met Don Edmonds. (Google him). Yesterday I ran into Janice Dickinson. (Didn't ask her about the thing, no). Flea is a regular member at our group, and occasionally we see Tom Petty too (Big Steve is a good buddy, I'm a bass player and he said he'd call if he ever needed one) :)

    You didn't hurt my feelings, not to worry. I have a thick skin. Years in politics will do that.
     
  7. GeorgiaAmy

    GeorgiaAmy Well-Known Member

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    Haha, just read this and am laughing in spite of myself....
    The 12&12 defines humility as a recognition of who and what we are followed by a sincere attempt to become all we could be...
    Humility is something I really have a difficult time with...:)
    Prople, places, and things are pretty inconsequential. The Big Book tslks about the spiritual awakening after which the alcoholic can go anywhere, environment has no effect on his or her sobriety.
    I drove to Alabama years ago on a Sunday when you couldn't buy alcohol in Georgia on Sunday...true story here....It was spring forward Sunday and I didn't realize that until my watch said noon and no Alabama liwuor stores were open. I sat in the oarking lot for over an hour, wicked shakes... When the store ooened, they didn't sell my cheap McCormick's handle for $12.99, I had to spend almost $30 for a bottle of Malibu rum....I chugged enough to stop shaking, drove back to Georgia, got out and grabbed my bottle and dropped it on my driveway. Shattered....I just fell down and cried....
    Wow on almost 10 years....
     
  8. GeorgiaAmy

    GeorgiaAmy Well-Known Member

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    Pilots:) But Delta has an internal group.
    I have been to Anchor Hospital a time or two (or ten)which sits just next to the Talbott Center. Talbott treats professionals that are in danger of losing licensure. Primarily foctors, pilots, nurses... It is a VERY expensive option that even the best health insurance companies offer minimal assistance. You prepay, three month minimum. About $12,000 cash to check in. Talbott also has an adolescent wing, all rich kids. Talbott patients get sent to Anchor next door to detox. Primarily doctors and executives...a few pilots, a few rich kids.
    No celebrities in my groups...but a very significant group of regulars with a LOT of time.
    I have not sponsored anyone yet.. I have had a lot of sponsors though.... I have been a chronic relapser. I make it nine months and choke.
    I am southside. Marietta is on the other side of town. I am 20 minutes from Hartsfield.
    I don't see how even the most unorthodox group could condone any mind altering chemical. On what basis would they condone pot? In NA their text states a drug is a drug is a drug....none of which an alcoholic or addict can safely use.
    Are you a politician?
     
  9. ballantine

    ballantine Banned

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    I was at a train station in Bakersfield about two years ago, on my way to San Francisco, when I saw this young lady "trying" to get comfortable on a bus bench. She was "shaking". I'd know that symptom anywhere, it gives me goose bumps every time I see it. First I just noticed her, but then I realized she was really bad, she was in bad shape. So I slowly walked over to her and asked if she was okay, she said "yeah, leave me alone". And I just caught the corner of her eye, and said, "look at me... can you look at me?" I told her, "I know what your problem is, maybe I can help." She told me she'd been drinking a bottle a day for over six months, and that she'd finally reached her limit and she was going "cold turkey", she was going to quit all on her own and just tough it out. And.... um.... I've been there done that, and I didn't think she was in good enough shape to make it. I have walked dozens of people around the meeting hall for 48 hours in a row, and I know exactly why they have the coffee and cookies at all those meetings, yes? And I've called half a dozen ambulances for those people too, for everything ranging from seizures to heart attacks. But she didn't have any Librium, and she didn't have any Dilantin. No Atavan, nothing like that. So I told her, "listen carefully now. What you're doing is very, very dangerous. Medically. You need help. Will you let me help you?" She said, "leave me alone, I don't feel well". I said, "if you'll stay here for ten minutes, I'll go down to the store and I'll get you something that will help'. It was about 1:30 in the morning, and I had just enough time to race over to the liquor store across the street and cop a pint of vodka. When I got back, she was still there, and when she saw the bottle her eyes got wide and she literally tried to tear it out of my hand. I said "NO!" and pulled it back. "You have to do this MY way", I said. "You can have ONE shot right now, and another one in ten minutes. Then we'll talk. Okay?" And she wasn't going to argue, she wasn't in any shape to be doing any arguing. I stayed with her till the sun came up (missed my train), she was a real nice girl and I couldn't imagine for the life of me why she'd want to drink a bottle a day, but that's alcohol right? Sounded like she had a messed up relationship, and I didn't ask, I just kept listening and feeding her half-shots every time she shut up for a while. Then around six I made her eat (took her to the Denny's), and then I called a cab and dropped her off at the county rehab. I swear to God she's be dead right now without that pint's worth of half-shots. Alcohol is a very dangerous drug, and alcohol withdrawals are entirely deadly.

    The only other time I ever saw anything like that, was in a church in Switzerland where there was a girl withdrawing from heroin lying in one of the pews. Again, unmistakable symptoms. That time I couldn't do anything though, 'cause both my parents were with me. (They're old and traditional, they don't understand stuff like this). But yeah, "takes one to know one", right? I see stuff like that, I spring into action. Because I'm very grateful not to be drinking today. The last drop I touched, it was when I found out my son had just been born. I remember looking at the cell phone in disbelief, then something snapping in my alcoholic brain, then throwing the phone into the television set (which exploded), and picking up the nearest bottle and downing it, and that's the last thing I remember. I woke up in a rehab two days later, with cuts all over my body, and they said I'd fallen into some broken glass, and I don't remember any of it. All I know is that booze and me don't mix anymore. Can't handle it. Had a stellar career at one point, drank more single-malt scotch than anyone in Scotland probably... but this is SOOOOO much better.... I mean, if there's ever any doubt, all I gotta do is look over at my daughter's smiling face, and I say to myself, "self, it's all good. You done good. You've won, and there's nothing else you need to do." Two beautiful kids and a wife who stuck around through the bottom - that is a good life. No matter what I ever say on these boards or which words I choose, ... you know... and the knowledge that I could lose all that "faster than you can blink an eye"..... it's all good. I wouldn't trade these kids for all the rum in Puerto Rico. Neither of 'em's ever seen me touch a drop, and with any luck, neither of 'em ever will.
     
  10. Aleksander Ulyanov

    Aleksander Ulyanov Well-Known Member

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    My most major problem with America right now is the growing tendency of even liberals to accept the idea that "Diversity" is automatically bad and that "multiculturalism", while it may be nice in theory, is an unworkable method of social organization.

    The USA is the most successful country in the world, the most powerful and prosperous for the most people by a pretty large margin. We are also, by far, the most multicultural in both our present day culture and our history in particular.

    We were populated by the greatest migration of people in the entire history of mankind, greater than the Volkvandervung which populated Europe and is still considered a major event and ongoing force in world history 2000 years later. More than any other nation that has ever existed we are a "nation of nations", the only country on Earth where "what is your nationality?" is completely a friendly inquiry, and not a veiled threat.

    I agree with most serious historians in feeling that our multiculturalism is our most salient identifying feature and the reason for our success. Anyone who doesn't agree with me on this is simply revealing their ignorance of our history and they should not consider themselves a patriotic American IMO
     
  11. ballantine

    ballantine Banned

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    Oh yeah, almost forgot "ridiculous social norms".

    How about this: "never trust a person who doesn't drink". :roflol:
     
  12. Aleksander Ulyanov

    Aleksander Ulyanov Well-Known Member

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    "Never trust a person who drinks too much,... or too little" Winston Churchill
     
  13. Aleksander Ulyanov

    Aleksander Ulyanov Well-Known Member

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    They're alright with being known members, yes?. AA is not Alcoholics ANONYMOUS for nothing, Just asking, no offense. Sometimes people who are really committed just can't understand why anyone wouldn't want to share the AA experience with the public if they are public people and forget that some do.

    I went to three meetings after I got a DUI ticket in 1985. I never went back because I never drank again but I noticed that lots of people actually liked the social/personal improvement aspects of it. Maybe I should've. It certainly couldn't have hurt.
     
  14. ballantine

    ballantine Banned

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    Ha ha - no, I'm an engineer, primarily. I wear a lot of hats, but that's the main one.

    Yeah, the "singleness of purpose" issue is a big one. There's all kinds of groups out here in LA, they're all different. Some are against "all" drugs, and they go out of their way to state at the beginning of the meeting, "ALL" drugs, "including antidepressants" and etc. And they have their reasons for that, y'know.... But other groups, are really focused on the booze, and if you tell 'em you smoke pot they won't kick you out but they WILL look at you funny (like, you're not supposed to be doing it). Still other groups, make it a point NOT to talk about anything else but alcohol, and that's because they don't want to alienate anyone like me. (There's a "lot" of people like me - and the ones who go to the traditional groups hear all about "marijuana maintenance" and stuff like that, and personally I find that quite harsh and judgemental, since I've never once identified as a marijuana addict - 'cause I'm not, I can take it or leave it, unlike booze which I simply can't leave). I use pot like normies use wine. One hit and I'm good, I don't want any more. I can even leave half a hit in the bong, which I could never do with half a shot of whisky. That's a "normal" consumption pattern, not an addictive pattern. And in my case, there is zero crossover, smoking a joint doesn't make me want to pick up a drink (in fact quite the opposite, whenever I look at a drink I start feeling a little queasy).

    I'm not going to disparage anyone's philosophy - if it's working for you, then it's working - that's my view. Some people need the tighter settings, some people need the looser settings. For me, I can tell you how "loose" is beneficial - it helps me drag the young meth addicts into AA. Yeah, no kidding. They're all over the place out here in LA, you can find 'em at every bus stop. I just start talking to 'em, and if they tell me they want to quit I start paying attention, and the minute I hear the word "meth" or "crystal" I ask, "want to smoke a joint?" This way, they know I'm on their side - BEFORE I have to hit 'em with the "here's my phone number, call me when you're ready". What happens to 'em after they get to the meeting, is their concern - mine is only to get 'em to the meeting. There's a lot of 'em that won't go if they think they're going to get lectured to. So I just smoke a joint with 'em, then I usually say something like "why don't you just stick with this? (pointing at the joint) This is good, it's a whole lot better than meth", and then usually something revealing comes out of their mouths, y'know.... A lot of the druggies out here in LA end up preferring AA to NA, just because they like the more "traditional" angle of the Big Book as opposed to the newer verbiage in the NA books. The AA rooms are full of druggies of all kinds, and whenever they speak they still identify as alcoholics (because they know as well as anyone that drugs are the solution, not the problem). Up in San Francisco I used to go to the Marina Dock club, and there they have (or at least had) special meetings for druggies who were trying to "wean" themselves by stopping the booze first. I ran into a recently deceased comedian up there, who had exactly this issue. And that's where I learned, that there's more to AA than just the alcohol. The way I look at it, in this town, something is better than nothing. If you can quit the meth then at least you don't have "that" problem, and once having the confidence behind you of having achieved a victory (however temporary), it might become easier to extend that into other areas.

    About the relapse - nine months is very common. Five years is also a very dangerous time, I lost it once right around the five-year point, and all the old timers just nodded their heads in sage understanding. May I ask, were you actively working a program at nine months? Some people, they haven't made it all the way through their steps yet, some sponsors like to take it slow and methodically. For me, the ninth was the kick-ass step, it took me three tries to make it through that one. The tenth was a bit daunting till someone showed me how to do it, then it became easy (even enjoyable). The first sponsor I had was the year-long type, and I relapsed after six months. The second sponsor got me to five years, then I relapsed. When I found my current sponsor, we went through the entirety of the twelve steps in three weeks. That was GOOD for me, I like that pace very much, 'cause my mind works a lot faster than my body does. We did the entire fourth step in one day, all 47 pages of it. It's really good when it's all there "all at once" in your mind (as well as on the piece of paper).

    Funny thing is, I never used to drink. First time I tasted beer I spit it out, I was like, "yech! people actually drink this stuff?" The first time I did a shot I practically gagged on it, darn Wild Turkey went straight up my nose. It took 20 years to get from there to the 6am liquor runs, but if you're a real alcoholic the progression is inevitable. Nine months is good though, that's a significant chunk of time. Please don't give up, just hang in there. I'm a multiple relapser, and so is everyone else I know. It's a rare bird who gets it the first time. For me, I finally "got it" when I found the right group, with the right group of people. There was a guy Scott Redman, you may know of him (he's very popular on the speaker CD's), he was my sponsor for a while. He had a depth of understanding that went well beyond most of the riff raff in this town. There's a lot of bitter alcoholics around here, they're "angry" 'cause they can't drink anymore. This is a strange town. :)
     
  15. Darkbane

    Darkbane Banned

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    are you kidding... why don't you as a business owner, wait until one of these anti-religious groups contacts you about your christmas decorations and demands you be politically correct or they will boycott your business and list you on their website and media channels as a bigoted group who hates non-christians... and then tell me who is waging a war on who... many large companies have been approached and pressured to NOT say merry christmas because its religious, and they have instructed employees to say happy holidays because its generic and define any one specific religion or event... which is exactly what these groups want... why should companies ever have to cave in to pressure from people simply because THEY don't like someone saying something when they checkout... thats not a christian being offended, thats a company being forced to squash any religion or be demonized...

    this is no different when union thugs went around door by door at the strip mall my business is at, and "asked" us to put a pro-union poster in the window during the walker recall campaign... and when any of us refused to they got quite nasty and started posting messages about our business online telling people not to do business with us and if they were caught consorting with us they were supporting the war on women and racism against minorities... all because I refused to hang their poster up in the window... THAT IS THE REALITY of these people... you are with us or we will destroy you... thats not freedom... my business is selling to other businesses, so I faced far less backlash because most people have zero clue what I do and couldn't "not buy" things from me since they never did to begin with, but almost every other store owner coming in to get supplies was talking about the unions doing this... and many of them were afraid to say no because they were just barely hanging on by a thread and didn't want any controversy... so they were forced to hang political posters in their store windows or face losing business... thats not me objecting to someone else putting whatever they want in their window, thats me objecting to someone forcing me to put their ideology in my window...

    http://www.jsonline.com/news/statepolitics/118963234.html

    this is everything the country is against... yet only some people are held accountable when they do wrong... lets apply this "equality" to everyone...

    http://www.redstate.com/diary/laborunionreport/2011/03/18/wolf-packs-wisconsins-public-sector-unions-turn-into-neighborhood-thugs/

    how would you like it if someone from the local police and fire unions came to your business and said put up this sign in your window or else bad things might happen... can you now not depend on police and fire responses? can you now expect them to be a little slow coming to your business? because you won't hang their sign?

    http://journaltimes.com/news/local/numerous-union-grove-shops-threatened-with-union-boycott/article_aba5a224-5b8c-11e0-88b7-001cc4c03286.html

    "do what we say or you will be punished"... sound a bit familiar... instead of "do what you want, you have that freedom"... this is america not china...

    P.S. I won't even go into the day I refused to donate money to a "gay pride parade float" and all the nasty messages they posted about my business for refusing to support them with a donation... I have two charities I donate to and thats it, but they said because I didn't donate to them I am instantly a bigot and discriminatory... in what world is this kind of behavior okay... if you say "no thank you" to someone without any mean words, you just don't want to donate money to something, you're now in trouble?
     
  16. GeorgiaAmy

    GeorgiaAmy Well-Known Member

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    6am runs...lol. Gawd, I remember those!! I'd be in the Kroger parking lot at 5:55 waiting to go in for cheap wine. I drank vodka, suffering wine was awful, beer worse.
    I began drinking after my father committed suicide, I was just shy of 30. Went to detox for the first time at 33. The progression among women is much, much faster. Speaking of AA speakers, I once heard a cd where the guy suggested helping an alcoholic reach their bottom quicker by introducing them to cocaine...lol.
    My current sponsor is a very big supporter of working the steps aggressively and quickly. He's a he. I am the only chick he has ever sponsored and he is the only male sponsor I have ever had. Have known him for years. He lives and breathes AA. I have done countless inventories with him... I still struggle with honesty...not because I am a liar, but because there are areas in which I haven't really been able to honestly tackle... In real life, I am VERY unlikely to express my feelings. In real life, I don't get angry, almost never cry, keep people at a safe distance, and am comfortable keeping everyone at least an arm's length away.... So my inventory is incomplete, dishonest, strange... I still think I have no resentments...wild, huh? I am an emotional retard. I deal by not dealing. In sobriety certain emotions are a kill switch. Guilt, disappointment, failure, sadness....Numbing those is the obvious solution.
    Based on your description of AA out there it seems there is more uniformity here. Alcoholics seldom gravitate toward NA. The lingo is different, the experience is different. Honestly, I think we drunks have a sense of superiority.
    You and I think a little different on some things.... Around here sponsors don't recruit or attempt to bring folks to meetings. Our purpose is to share our experience, strength, and hope. In AA meetings s chair will shut you down if you attempt to advise in a meeting.
    My county had a very strong, awesome, very available and traditional AA presence.
    Do you have any idea how bad I want my year medallion??? Lol...I want my husband of 20 years and my three kids to give it to me. I dream about it. But I am skeptical it will ever happen... If I can continually make it 6-9 months and derail for a week or two (which seems to be my pattern) then it is working for me and my family.
    By the eay, I have met very few dry drunks in AA...but they are the most bitter, miserable people I have ever seen.
    Haha, you surprised me. I chalked you up as average and mouthy. Sober drunks are some of the best company. Did you know statistically we have significantly higher IQ's?
     
  17. GeorgiaAmy

    GeorgiaAmy Well-Known Member

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    Is bass your only instrument? I play piano. Aside from my husband and children, I love music more than anything else in the world. I would sacrifice my vision for hearing any day. I cannot imagine what it must have been like for Beethoven to lose his hearing. To love music so much he composed pieces by laying his head on a piano in order to feel the vibrations and successfully composed that way.
    Who Is your favorite musician?
     
  18. GeorgiaAmy

    GeorgiaAmy Well-Known Member

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    Chick fil A.
     
  19. GeorgiaAmy

    GeorgiaAmy Well-Known Member

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    You are so obviously not an American. Do you really think we give a shi# about your opinion? We don't. If we want to come and take everything you have, we will. Hate us for our unabashed pride, wealth, strength, individualism, ingenuity. Grow a pair and call a spade a spade. America runs the world. Americans are better, stronger, smarter.
     
  20. GeorgiaAmy

    GeorgiaAmy Well-Known Member

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    Not an American.
     
  21. ARDY

    ARDY Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    And multi cultural

    http://www.businessinsider.com/the-rise-of-asian-americans-charts-2013-6

    And btw, imo people do not hate us for the reasons you say
    But if i lived in another country
    And read what you wrote
    I would have contempt for that person
     
  22. GeorgiaAmy

    GeorgiaAmy Well-Known Member

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    Indeed, we are diverse.
    Take notice to whom I respond to and how I respond. There is method to my madness.
     
  23. GeorgiaAmy

    GeorgiaAmy Well-Known Member

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    Lol. Shocking...Asians are smarter...news alert...Blacks are better football and basketball players.
    And here we all thought we were created equal, the same. On the next page, men do not have a uterus, cannot carry and birth babies.And someone will take offense to those factual statements. Why?
     
  24. ARDY

    ARDY Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Actually Asians are NOT smarter
    They just work harder, study harder, are less focused on instant gratification, etc
     
  25. GeorgiaAmy

    GeorgiaAmy Well-Known Member

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    Ok pal. Now tell me blacks are better athletes because they work at it.
     

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