What is Your Idea of "Being a Man"?

I have heard it said that men used to have a clear set of roles and expectations of behaviour everyone agreed with.
But that today, men are feeling unsure of their identities as "men". Unsure how they should behave, whether and/or they should show their "feminine side" (not sexual, but "emotional") and what you think is a well balanced "man".
Historical and cultural references most welcome!

 

I think it's funny people have opinions on what being a "man" is.

 

So entertain us.
What is yours then?

 

I don't have one, clearly.

 

Worth thinking about then?
No obligation of course...so many of us go through life never questioning their own identity or our place in the "community".
No big deal...just an idea to play with.

 

It's one of those questions that thinking about only places artificial limits on ourselves.

 

Ah but a person cannot be all things to all people. Perhaps it is better to know your strengths, and know your limits and avoid your weaknesses??

However we are straying from the issue. Masculinity. What do you think it is?
John Wayne? Or Jonathan Pryce?
A miner or a nurse?
An artist or an astronaut?
An order giver or an order taker?
Height or disability?
Successful or invisible?
Down a beer in record time or hold a champagne glass properly?

What do you think describes a "man" in 2022?

 

Isn't that kind of like a four-legged animal asking a human "What's it like to be a person"?

As far as I know, there is no "universal" definition for any words. The society in which we live add words as needed. For example,

 

Oh try a bit harder.
When you come across someone of the male variety, what makes you think "he is a masculine man" or "he is not as impressive as I consider a man should be."?
How do you know he is "one of the guys"?

 

I would like to think - now in 2022 - being 'a man' no longer has anything to do with how masculine he is or is not. And while I understand your question, I think that kind of question should be behind us. A man (and a woman) to me should be someone who cares for others and does what they can to help - if they can. One who thinks simply beyond him (or her) self and considers the greater good for those around them. It matters little to none to me how 'masculine' (or 'feminine') they may be in traditional terms.

 

Just about the opposite to what I thought a man was when I was a sh** kicking 20 year old.

 

Being able to hit the toilet standing up. Need good balance for that.

 

Why limit those characteristics to just men? Shouldn't all people know their limits, strengths, and weaknesses?

 

I think a good man works hard and takes care of his family. He takes an active role in raising his children and sets a good example for them.

 

LOL!!
Good man!!

 

Or cleaning the bathroom when you miss?
Or do you expect someone else to do that?

(not meant seriously...this thread was meant to be as light hearted as you want).

 

I think you could replace "man" with "person" and it applies just the same though.

 

OH I don't know...I think men are a special kind of person...indeed I do!!

 

Letting women and children board the lifeboats, and going down with the ship rather than grabbing a seat and not caring who's behind you.

 

An early experience that helped me solidify one aspect of being a man:
Years ago at the end of a stock car race, t he promoters attempted to set large firework show off. Something went wrong and all those powerful fireworks directed to the stands instead of up in the air.

In a flash, with me not even processing what was going on, my husband was over me as a shield and had me on the ground covered by his body. His first reaction was to protect me from harm. He is a real man.

 

Miss? I am well balanced.

 

LOL.
The idea for this OP started when I watched The Power of the Dog...about toxic masculinity.
The toxicity looks, on the surface, to be "normal behaviour", especially in the early 20th century US west. (and the remarkable acting by B. Cumberbatch...again).
So I wondered how much of that still exists.

 

The ability to enjoy the beauty and majesty of a tree whilst peeing on it.

 

Taking responsibility for yourself, looking after your loved ones, being good for your word.

 

It's hard to get a good answer, and I would try to answer it more as : what is it to be perceived as a "real man" ?

That can mean a lot of things. A large part of what it mean to be "a man" end to take some sense in what we are aknowledged as a man in the eyes of the opposite sex (for heterosexual men), as a lover, it also take some sense in our relationship as father.
What's a man ? A provider, a mentor, to be strong.

I think a lot of what it is to be can be understood also in the figure of the hero, the knight : the hero win again some stuff, is able and willing to fight, to die to protect what it is dear to him.

I don't pretend it is the only thing that can be a man, or should be, there is more ways to be a man, or anyway even if you're not considered as a man, as long as your enjoying your life, why should you care ?