I would love to take a time machine and force things like this upon the "Greatest Generation". Nope, sorry 506th PIR. You can't jump into Normandy because you all have not done your mandatory DoD SHARP and ASAP classes. So take off those parachutes and report to the classroom tomorrow from 0800 until 1800. Only after that will we talk about you actually doing your job. Oh, and when you finish the classes, just go to your barracks and do nothing. The DoD ordered us to close the club on base because it encouraged drinking. So if you want a drink, you have to drive out in town to do it. But we will also have your ass if you get a DUI.