Your child says I'm gay. What do you do?

My god that's a lot of culture-centric assumptions!

 

there can't possibly exist a culture like that if there was it would go extinct.

yeah I know you've been pushing this nonsense but it doesn't make a single lick of sense. if people didn't consider their sexuality they would have gone extinct. Where do you think these people come from?

you're seriously lacking in the most basic understanding of human biology. No amount of faux worldliness will make up for that

No amount of traveling the world will change this reality. In order for there to be people there must be people considering sexuality. People don't grow on trees.

 

Actually no.

here is what I wrote. " This coming out to the family thing is handled so badly by both sides sometimes. Strained or dysfunctional relationships are almost never improved by this news, while stable and strong ones sometimes can be. If the familial dynamic tends towards weaponizing events, then you can be sure that this process will be weaponized as well. If the familial dynamic rewards melodrama then that is what you will find here. If the relationships are characterized by trust and respect you will probably end up with those same characteristics eventually determining what happens after this disclosure"

this post has very little to do with 'culture' at all. You are not reading much about different 'cultures' in this post. I did not refer to cultures at all. What you are reading has to do with how these various families and family members handle potential stressors. Three different Italian American or Japanese or African American or Jewish or Catholic or atheist families will handle this news differently depending how the family dynamic tends to work. Members of a family will handle an unplanned pregnancy, or a son quitting college, or parent losing their job, or any other news pretty much the same way they will handle this news. Each member of the unit will act in a similar fashion to how they handle every thing else that may surprise them.

Next time Crank, read the post and stop guessing what I am talking about.

 

You misunderstood (deliberately?). They don't ASK themselves if they're straight or gay. It's not a question that exists. Being straight is an unthought state - as ubiquitous as breathing. While they know homosexuality exists, it's so irrelevant and so alien a concept that it never makes the personal radar. I know mass murderers exist, but I've never sat around wondering if I might be one. That's literally how it is for them.

 

You mentioned 'coming out' only, as a stressor. I was responding to that. And yes, culture plays a much larger role in how such a thing is handled than you've suggested. You're talking only of variation within a single cultural iteration.

 

no sexuality is how we all get here.

That's not a misunderstanding anything other than that is a misunderstanding or a fairy tale.

Bull ****.

again. Bull ****.

 

They're not wondering if they're SEXUAL (they know they are ... duh), they're simply not wondering if they're anything other than straight.

Confirming your lack of exposure to other cultures.

I'm sure you'd prefer it was BS, I totally get that.

 

They're not wondering if they're SEXUAL (they know they are ... duh), they're simply not wondering if they're anything other than straight.

Confirming your lack of exposure to other cultures.

I'm sure you'd prefer it was BS, I totally get that.

 

Bullshit.

yes I've never been to Mars don't know any other type of sapient life-forms besides humans.

You make claims you can't prove I don't believe in psychic abilities. So you're just lying.

 

I'm sorry crank you just can't know this and the more you insist upon it the more ridiculous you look.

really it's like having someone insist that the world's flat. So I don't believe you. you are lying if you're not prove otherwise but I know you can't because you lack psychic abilities.

 

I understand why this is an uncomfortable idea for you, Poly. I really do. You're a happy gay man, who has no beef with his sexuality.

But it's a reality. Not all cultures factor such things in to their mental/personal cogitations. The idea of sexuality doesn't even really exist ... because there is only one manner of sex. Again - just as you and I don't actively think about whether or not to become mass murderers, even though we know they exist.

 

I really don't like being lied to.

and if I was to take that as an argument then I would also have to believe that the Earth is flat and that lizard people run the government.

I'm sorry if it's your reality it's not the reality I can observe.

again you're telling me what other people think and I don't believe you are psychic.

then why are there gay people there?

 

Sorry, What do you want me to do about it?

 

Would you think they would want you to do something about it?

 

Then why bring it up?, do your kids come to you and say "I'm straight" if they would have said I'm gay and I want help then that is different

 

Maybe they need guidance, maybe they think you should know would you say that to your kid if they told you they were having a baby?

Why isn't it different if they said they are straight and need help?

 

Normally straight kids don't come to their parents to tell them they are straight, it's normal, it's assumed, As far as the baby scenario, why would you assume they would need my help...you have to many assumptions for such a board question. Why don't you ask what you really want to know specifically instead of making us guess your intentions. Are you looking for an agenda? You should read your own question again, it said nothing about needing help.

 

Are you the kind of person that it's a chore to be around? Maybe they want guidance, being a parent for the first time is scary. Maybe they thought you would be happy to be a grandparent.

It is a hypothetical scenario and you did post on it.

Well I'm trying to find out why you would tell your kids such a moronic thing when they are just telling you something that might be difficult. It sounds like something a 15 year old would say regarding an issue they didn't want to talk about. Your response sounds self centered and a bit stupid.

What would they need help with?

 

Delete

 

Don't know that was your assumption I thought.....I must be missing something You said "maybe they need guidance" Is that what you said? " Why isn't it different if they said they are straight and need help? " are those not you

 

But yes they may need help if they have to bring attention to their sexual habits

 

I wasn't making any assumptions outside of the fact that there's a hypothetical child of yours told you. They were getting which is the Crux of this thread.

So I don't know what assumptions you're talking about.

everything I said to you is in response to something you said so you should probably read it in that context. The context is laid out in post 540 + 541 so go back there and read them in context and then maybe you'll understand.

If I'm not communicating well you have to tell me more than what you're telling me.

 

So my point if they brought it up to me, would it matter anymore if their straight or gay? No... the gay child stated a fact, not that he wanted my help with it.

 

I’m not sure what you’re getting at. The differences between being straight and gay is on a continuum. It’s not black and white. Otherwise, there would not be bisexuality and homosexual behavior among so called heterosexual inmates in prisons. Because many other cultures get that, there is less stress on “coming out” .

Mass murderers ? Yes, that’s a continuum also. Every normal person occasionally self evaluates whenever they hear of any crime, including mass murders. If you were in the service during wartime, you’d get how close everyone is to these thoughts.

When someone self describes themselves as “ normal”, then is ordered to bomb a village of people’s, internal conflict arises.
That’s where PTSD comes in. If it doesn’t, you have to ask why.

 

Perhaps they should.