I've been talking to my parents and they too share the disgust of the American practice of putting old folk in nursing homes. In our Russian culture no matter how old, sick or deprived a parent gets, you always keep him living with the family.

But in America it seems that as soon as your parent becomes to old, disgusting, and annoying you just stick him in an old folks home and forget about him or her.

The elderly should not be living around the elderly. They should be around the youth, thats where they can get energy from.

Shameful.

in israel we mostly have our old living in their old places and in my case when a husband or a wife dies,they leave and go to a small apartment where they are visited every week...we celebrate at our grandpa's house hanuka and sukot and the night of shabat in the night of friday.how could i forget pass over......it's fun stying there.plus u get all the family there

wait, you just leave the dead body in an apartment for a weak???

My folks do not want to live with me or any of my siblings. They are still in their homes and quite healthy. In the event that they become unable to live alone, they have expressed their desire to in a nice assisted living apartment. Some nursing homes are terrible. Newer ones have the best of all worlds - peace and quiet, social events, help in the event of an emergency, and most of all, privacy.

Isn't it nice that my parents have a choice?

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Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked... in the head... with an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does. It never happens. It's a dumb question... skip it.

It is very fortunate for you, but I sincerely doubt that most elderly parents would want to be seperate like that at such an old age.

They won't be far away. If they can't drive, the place they have picked out has shuttles. I think they will be able to be far more active than if they had to rely on me for everything. If they lived with me, they would never ask for anything for fear of being a burden. To go from complete independence to complete dependence would be a very depressing thing.

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Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked... in the head... with an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does. It never happens. It's a dumb question... skip it.

for god's sake no! when they are ill we take care of them...plus we stay connected to them by phones threw the entire week.

why not have them live with u?

well of course many do live with their children,but my grandparents allways chose to live in their own apartment,paid by their money,and not in their children's.it can make them feel like they can't treat themselves any more.my grandparents allways showed their independence,espically during the holocaust,and they don't want to think like they can take care of them selves.i think it's good,because thinking that u can't take care of urself anymore,can lead to depression,and it can cause the body deseases......beside,my grandpa is 74 and he can still beat me in most things

It's because America has a strong ideal of individualism. Most old people want to maintain some amount of independence and they'd especially feel bad becoming dependent on their kids. Not all homes are bad. The nice ones have a community atmosphere and allow the people living there as much autonomy as possible, catered to their needs. But only if you can afford it.
Others wind up in crappy nursing homes because they have no family or at least no family that can afford to help them and they can't afford to go anywhere else.
People with Alzheimer's disease are another interesting case. There are homes designed with them in mind that focus on trying to make each day full of happy moments. When Alzheimer's gets to its worse stages, the family members usually do nothing but stress themselves and the victim of the disease out by trying to "help" and getting hurt by the lack of memories (taking it personal). So certain homes are actually ideal for people with certain troubles.
The bigger question is "Why do some Americans toss their parents into homes and then never go to see them?"