These are the nominations in the order in which they were nominated:

ForceoftheTruth: "My name is Force, and I'm addicted to online political quizzes," I said with a sudden burst of effort. The therapy group applauded my courage. "The first step is admitting it, Force," said a mild voice- presumably that of the group's leader. We sat down to discuss our myriad addictions. In the course of our discussion, however, I found myself fixated on a young woman sitting directly across from me in the circle. I was daydreaming... wondering... is she a third-way liberal or a libertarian-leaning paleoconservative? The question haunted me, drowning out the voices of everyone else present...


amepro: Ahhhh! look out!!! There's BS all over the place!!!

It's the "chicken hawks" that have been worrying about the sky falling for years. Their leaders create a crisis and the little neo-con chickadees go a peeping "we're at war, we're at war, let the government do whatever it wants because we're at war"!


ForceoftheTruth: I've decided against castration.


JavaBlack: I'd like to offer a little more constructive advice. The Communist plot thing is out of fashion. If you want to be a conspiracy theorist, the Illuminati is the way to go. Nice and all-encompassing. That way you can put anarchism, communism, socialism, corporate capitalism, and fascism into one lump conspiracy theory- simple and effective. It's an attempt to make a completely free automatic system- but it's really to enslave us and destroy our morals! Be sure to throw in how it's orchestrated by ancient Babylonian gods that are really aliens that use us for cattle. Typically you need to give a solution in the form of some religious movement. Works out that you're a Christian. Be sure to point out some weird astrological phenomenon that is somehow prophetic and be sure to mention that the Free Masons are Luciferian and that they rule the world.
Good luck on your book sales!


Thread Subject: Favorite Karaoke Tunes?

JavaBlack: "Fire Woman" by The Cult
"Born to be Wild" by Steppenwolf
"Material Girl" by Madonna
Helps if I'm drunk


WhiteJackel: He's queer, but gutsy. You, on the other hand, are a bombastic wiener.

WIENIE HEAD. YOU FRIG'N WIENIE HEAD. When are you gonna POP, Wienie? As I once said -- I bet I could whip you with handcuffs on.


nawbut: Did you ever crawl out from under a rock? Do you know even what a rock on your back in a hard place feels like? Is there no end to your ramblings or will you forever off to whither the fairy-peeps keep the joy of sun from the faithful? Because this is what I love.

I looked for your sense, and the metal of your mitre, and I found it at last among the wordings you use. Your sense is of a sense that the world does not yet know whereof, and your being of a breath of a whisker on a cat not neutered (or house-trained). This is what I respect about you.

I think and feel that in time I may love, find love - if love it truly be - then, rock-on, roll-over, and be-(*)(*)(*)(*)ed. "Say on!", says you, but I have neither the words for my feelings nor yet the wind to give breath to the bones that hide the tissue that forms the vibrations through which I grunt and make sounds that make me a comprehensible human being, to you, at any rate..for it is my fate to have fallen, almost completely, for you...

I say it without shame or fear of any embarrassment, that my heart is about to explode, and that I feel like I want to shout it from the rooftops, climb a Jew and declare my undying love for you, or build a bridge between broad banks just to run over it and slap a Jew on the far shore...just for you.

Can you....could you...could it ever be...that you might feel the same?


Which of these is the funniest? Even though I didn't nominate it, I have to vote for nawbut's post. I appreciate all votes and replies. Thank you very much.

__________________
"Some people complain about the system. The system is not good, so they can't do anything. It's an excuse. Freedom is in your heart." (Jin Xing)

Okay, there are two votes for nawbut's prose and two votes for my eunuch post. I need someone to break the tie. Thanks.

__________________
"Some people complain about the system. The system is not good, so they can't do anything. It's an excuse. Freedom is in your heart." (Jin Xing)

Very well, the award for the funniest post in politicalforum.com history goes jointly to nawbut and Force-of-the-Truth.

__________________
"Some people complain about the system. The system is not good, so they can't do anything. It's an excuse. Freedom is in your heart." (Jin Xing)