I hesitate to even post in this thread because on these matters, you sometimes get upset at what I say, or how I say it. I think you're a nice guy, so hopefully you know that I mean you no harm. Most of us here like you and wish you well. And we wish you'd break out of your self-imposed shell.

But Force, really... have you done an actual empirical study on this topic? Or have you reached conclusions based on what you want to believe... what you prefer to believe about the female population?

There are billions of women on this planet, Force. In addition to the state of individual being, there are more variables that make them all at least a bit different from one another than I can imagine. IMO, the trick is to meet that "unique" girl. She likely exists. But if you're locked away in your existence, the chances of you meeting her aren't so great. Anyway, you're WAY too young to be giving up. That's all I mean.

Good luck.

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"Tweeter was a Boyscout before she went to Vietnam and found out the hard way... nobody gives a d@mn."

I typed a long, complex post about the precise reasons for my decision, but my computer crashed before I could post it and I don't have the mental energy to repeat the effort. I'll just write that I know all of you mean well and that there is undoubtedly some truth to the idea that I prefer to believe what I wrote in this thread's first post.

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"Some people complain about the system. The system is not good, so they can't do anything. It's an excuse. Freedom is in your heart." (Jin Xing)

As much as I appreciate the intentions of all who have replied to this thread's first post, I repeat what I wrote above. This is just an update and not a cry for help. I really have given up on all dating forever, so help me God, so there is no reason for me to post anything further in this thread. I thank all of you anyway.

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"Some people complain about the system. The system is not good, so they can't do anything. It's an excuse. Freedom is in your heart." (Jin Xing)

to be honest, i do not know your exact reasons for not having sex, but from those reasons and philosophies that I generally hear regarding strict abstinence, it is usually somewhat of a slippery slope fallacy--at least, from a purely intellectual and scientific standpoint. it is one thing to be addicted to sex, it is another to have it once and awhile for fun, and it is yet another to have it with someone special. It is still something completely different to have it with someone you are married too, and even then, still quite another to have it with someone you are married to while wearing protection and planning pregnancies. And then again, it is another thing entirely to only kiss or make out with someone, and then to hold hands, and then to date them, etc. Eventually, you find that you can not do anything if you are trying to be completely pure.

Now, personally, I did not have sex until I was 22, and I found out that it was actually just as overrated as I had though it would be (it is so much easier to have it with people though when you find out it isn't a big deal and let go, lol) but anyhow, I understand your viewpoint somewhat as I was actually raised Mormon for a time, and then found Buddhism, but eventually, all people live their own life and find their own balance. Oftentimes, we can be caught up in intellectual fears and insecurities and we must let to learn these go, or hold onto them if we truly are at peace with ourselves. In any case, I would simply suggest that you look into what you truly want deep down instead of what is simply in your mind. It seems to me that you are perhaps simply frustrated for the time being, but I'm sure you will someday find your path.

Morals are great, but sometimes, taken to far, they can be conflicting. You have to not only look at the means, but also, as to what your end in life is. Sex is not necessarily a negative experience, tantra and other meditation forms are actually both physical and spiritual. Dating is certainly not necessarily an evil. You need to look at your life from the point of view as to what is going to make you truly happy, and not as to what you simply think will do so. It is much more easily said then done, but you remind me somewhat of myself at one time and I can only give you what little advice i know of related to myself. Only my opinion of course.