This isn't a thread of whining or a cry for help. This is just a little update. Some of you may remember me as the romantic who, never having been on a date, desperately wanted a meaningful relationship with a girlfriend. Well, I still haven't been on a date, but I've come to realize that I am, in an ultimate sense, fortunate.
You see, a person can't compromise their core principles without losing the very meaning of existence. My personal morality is stricter than that of any major religion. I hold not merely to the "wait until marriage" standard but also to the belief that procreation must be the sole purpose and intent of marriage. I am also, of course, personally opposed to drugs, alcohol and tobacco. I would die any death rather than compromise these beliefs.
There are women who share my beliefs, but based on empirical research, I found that they are, without exception, intolerant ultraconservatives or extreme populists. Let's just say they wouldn't have accepted that gay beggar who was my only friend in the real world until his death. I would, again, die any death rather than compromise my belief in compassion, which is just as important to me as the discipline I described above. Neither is more important to me than the other; both are of infinite importance.
However, my beliefs are so unconventional that I honestly think that they are completely unique to me. I am certain that I will never find any woman who shares them, and I would not date any woman who did not. Accordingly, I hereby forever renounce all interest in any romantic companionship. Being a natural romantic, this is very sad to me, but that is life.

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"Some people complain about the system. The system is not good, so they can't do anything. It's an excuse. Freedom is in your heart." (Jin Xing)

You're still basically a kid. A late bloomer perhaps. One of these days Miss Right will come along, when you least expect it, and you won't know what hit you. It could be 5 or 10 years from now, or next week but it will happen. I'm not saying you'll end up in eternal marital bliss, which is a rare phenomenon these days. But you'll get to put a mark in your belt sooner or later.

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"Who can this be? For He commands even the winds and the waves, and they obey Him." Luke 8:25

No kidding!

I would say your decision to not date leaves more chicks for the rest of us, but it's not really true. You would never date anyone I would date, so my prospects (assuming my marriage crumbles) remain the same. If I even hear the words "wait until marriage" I'm like vapor.

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This space for rent.

Yo Force, I know exactly how you feel

BUT

It took me several failed relationships to find the flaw in finding a woman who shares your values and beliefs.

You should not be looking for THAT woman, rather the woman whom will accept you for being yourself and will respect your beliefs and opinions, as you can do the same for her.

MY wife is a chinese malaysian. She's buddhist and has strong beliefs and opinions that I dont share. We respect that there is a difference in culture but what we hold dear is that we can peacefully coexist. We've learned a lot from our differences.

What can you learn from a woman who is a mirror image of your own virtues? If she does not share your beliefs you can discuss them, as she can discuss hers and you both will learn (this is given that you can find a girl open minded enough to communicate with like adults)...after all--personal relationships are growing experiences also. There are things that I've walked away from all my past relationships with. You learn from everyone you meet.

Dont rush it, but be able to recognize the opportunity when it arises.

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America is a melting pot, the people at the bottom get burned while all the scum floats to the top.
- - - Charlie King

Perhaps I should clarify what I meant by morals. I meant that a woman would have to share my beliefs on celibacy and the purpose of marriage (um... how else would a relationship last?). By compassion, I mean what the Religious Right, particularly the Religious New Right (Falwell, Robertson and so forth), utterly lacks (that will offend some, but I have to be honest about what I think). The only women who would agree with my views on celibacy and marriage, however, would be on the fringes of the Religious Right. That is why I will never date.

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"Some people complain about the system. The system is not good, so they can't do anything. It's an excuse. Freedom is in your heart." (Jin Xing)

I see your point now. Find an interesting girl who respects your wish for celibacy will be a challenge, I'm sure...considering what's out there...

As for the purpose of marriage...thats open to interpretation, my wife comes from a culture that is VERY family oriented. I intend to have kids someday and once that happen, I will be family oriented too. For now we just enjoy the time we can spend alone. I'm sure you are aware there is much more to a relationship that procreation. If your 'mate', if you will, enhoys your hobbies, she can become one of your best friends too. I got no problem going camping, hiking, to the desert, etc.

A few months ago she mentioned her biological clock was ticking. Argh, we planned to extend our family after we left California for good next year. So to put her off a bit, I got her a puppy. That bought me a little more time and we got a kickbutt beagle puppy too.

If the girl is worth it you guys will work something out.

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America is a melting pot, the people at the bottom get burned while all the scum floats to the top.
- - - Charlie King

Question: Let's say you meet a woman who you like, who agrees with your views on marriage, procreation, drugs, and tobacco, but drinks alcohol occasionally. Would you feel you were compromising your beliefs by dating her?

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One original thought is worth a thousand mindless quotings. --Diogenes

I really respect you beliefs. In west Michigan you would probably like the women. I have met many sweet girls who you would love I am sure. I would suggest looking in a christian youth group for your woman.

I dont feel the same about everything, for example sex only as procreation. I feel that it is a gift that two partners give to one another and it should be enjoyed. Its not dirty it is the physical display of love between two people. I think sex is pretty important in a relationship, but that is just my belief.

I believe in my heart that you can't find your love until you stop looking and then one day love hits you like a mack truck you see her and you will do anything to get her. But don't get your hopes up too much, because things don't always work out the way you want.

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"In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule." - Nietzsche

Oh, when I stated that I was personally opposed to those things, I only meant that I wouldn't do them, meaning that I wouldn't be willing to drink socially. I wouldn't care if a woman smoke or drank herself. Illegal drugs would be another matter, of course.

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"Some people complain about the system. The system is not good, so they can't do anything. It's an excuse. Freedom is in your heart." (Jin Xing)

Don't be afraid to date, it just means taking a girl out for a good time. You don't have to sleep together you can go out to the movies or dinner, or go for a walk.
Also, always open doors for women and be a gentlemen. As gay as it sounds women really apreciate it.

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"In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule." - Nietzsche