Talking with some people about Prop 8 reminds me that, oddly enough, we as a nation have not visited the moon for around 30 years. The arguments bantered about, like those in the debate for the moon, are less about the logic of it all and more about their own personal ambition.
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Not surprisingly, the moon turned out to be a barren desert without even an atmosphere let alone water. Far more hostile to life and more difficult to reach than even our own Antarctica (and look how many people travel let alone live there). Its not that there haven't been advances since then, probes are now well outside the solar system and we've visited each planet if not just by remote control. The advances in robotics and space travel were dreams even to those brave explorers. Yet that moon base is elusive, and many argue it is just too expensive. Sure we could, but why?
When I talk to my friends about Prop 8, there is a lot of zeal for it and a lot of anxiety against it. There are those that really understand how families enrich the quality of everyones life. The constant sacrifice, like those who supported and funded the mission to the moon, does pay off with an experience that is out of this world. Astronauts report that from a high enough altitude a sense of height and danger is replaced with an overwhelming sense of majesty and awe. This is compounded by actually standing on another world. But space and the moon is a hazardous wasteland in the eyes of cynical pragmatists.
In a way, those pragmatists are right. And in a way, so too our lives spent in constant devotion to the ideals of marriage may appear to be a hazardous life. The minefields of parenting, the emotional scars we, despite our best efforts, are giving our children. The scars we endured from our parents. Why shoot for the moon or for our grand ideal of marriage? Our resources are better spent on something much more obtainable. And that is an ideal of marriage less lofty, and in all honesty more likely to leave children feeling desolate for their experience. And, in turn, create more resentment for family life.
To some it is reassuring -- even encouraging -- to hear the efforts that are going on to help encourage ideals of strong marriages...
- Mutual tolerance, and devotion to the quality of each gender's representation
- Realizing that A leads to B, though not absolutely it nevertheless dependable to know a sexual relationship leads to children. So taking responsibility long before A, so that B is better taken care of is just second nature.
When you look after each other gender, taking care of the children follows. So do the hard decisions in life between having a stable sustainable living at real expense to time and effort or going into debt. The decisions to put your children in good schools and take care of their schooling efforts. The decisions that you know will sacrifice what you want to tell them how much they mean to you. There are truly other paths to these smart decisions, but none more sure than marriage and devotion to the other gender who completes your union.
It is hope, even audacious hope, to expound to friends the ideals that make society better one family at a time. They make each family practicing them better. Giving up on these ideals has been essentially giving up on themselves. At some point it isn't pragmatism, but simply consoling themselves with the arguments of those that always settle for less.
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08-12-2008, 09:00 PM
The Moon is too far
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