I got the below message in an email recently about quotes atributed to Andy Rooney. Although I feel some of them are probably not really Rooney quotes, that is besides the point. I simply wanted to address each one and she some reactions.

Andy Rooney said on "60 Minutes" a few weeks back:

Andy: I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens...Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.

Me: This is true, but for some reason, I just don't care enough to whine about it like a lot of other white folks do these days. I think a little temporary discrimination towards Caucasians to make up for a couple hundred years of serious discrimination towards blacks is a-okay. The fact that many Caucasians are getting angry about this and starting to feel at least a fraction of what African-Americans felt is proof that it is working.


Andy: Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

Me: Well, this analogy is rather poor because baseball bats and cars have other uses besides killing people, whereas guns pretty much serve only one purpose, but all this is besides the point as I agree guns should not be banned, only heavily regulated.


Andy: I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?

Me: Fair enough, and I'd like to add that I think it's about time someone started the Boy & Girl Scouts.


Andy: I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion.

Me: Okay. It's an opinion based on a fear that homosexuality will somehow backdown the moral fabric of our society. Sometimes you can have your cake and eat it, too.


Andy: I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.

Me: Agreed, and of course if you refuse to tolerate someone who different, weird, or ticks you off, you should expect the same intolerance from them in return.


Andy: When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling, it is the Law of Probability.

Me: Agreed.


Andy: I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!

Me: I used to believe this idea until I spent 2 years living in Japan and learned only a very basic level of Japanese. In Japan, it is expected that foreigners can't speak Japanese, and they feel an obligation to speak to them in a language that they can understand, usually English. USA has no official language, so how can we lawfully force anyone to speak English? I think Americans should spend more time trying to learn a foreign language, especially after they become adults. Perhaps then they will understand how truly difficult it is to master it and speak on the same level as a native speaker. And of course, if you don't like to make purchases from someone who doesn't speak English so well, you can always go on down to the next store.


Andy: My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.

Me: Agreed, but how is speaking a foreign language disrespecting a country that has no official language?


Andy: I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry a-- if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word "freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines.

Me: Most every person throughout the world can understand at least the word "stop." Perhaps police should stop saying "freeze." That said, yes, if an officer tells you to stop and you keep running, let him shoot your sorry a--.


Andy: I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.

Me: Agreed.


Andy: We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations.

Me: Don't blame the immigrants for that. Blame the Democrats. In fact, blame both parties, since both love to call the constitution a living document anytime a reinterpretation suits there needs.


Andy: I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

Me: Good for you. Who cares?


Andy: I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from watching them.

Me: Agreed, but who cares?


Andy: I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better, and put your name on the building.

Me: That's true, but it doesn't mean I don't have the right to say he is a selfish bastard if that's how I feel about it. If you disagree with this, check back to your above statement on tolerance.


Andy: It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say "NO!"

Me: Agreed, anf I think some people need to mind their own business when they see such punishment being handed out at the supermarket.


Andy: I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!

Me: Agreed, with a smile.


Andy: I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be "African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and nowhere else.

Me: Agreed, and I think the vast majority of Americans would agree, too. PC won't last much longer because we all think it's a joke, so calm down and wait it off.


Andy: I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG, OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND TO THE REPUBLIC, FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL!

Me: I see Andy is a garduate of the US public education system. We can recite the Pledge of Allegiance fifty years after we graduate, yet we have extreme difficulty figuring out the tip when we go out to eat. Hmmm...who said only authoritarian regimes use education as a tool of indoctrination?


Andy: It is said that 86% of Americans believe in God. Therefore, I have a very hard time understanding why there is such a problem in having "In God We Trust" on our money and having "God" in the Pledge of Allegiance. Why don't we just tell the 14% to Shut Up and BE QUIET!!!

Me: Agreed. Personally, I don't care what is printed on our money, even if it reads "Don't Trust God! Satan is Our Master!", so long as it continues to be accepted as currency where ever I need to make purchases.

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WARNING: In the unlikely event of an accidental agreement with any or all points made in the above post, contact a clinical psychologist immediately.

The views expressed in the above post are not necessarily those of Joker and/or any of his affiliates.

. "You have found the secret message. Do you have too much time on your hands? ...Let it go."

I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens...Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.

I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?

So, it is wrong to have an organisation solely for black people, but it is perfectly acceptable to have one solely for Boy's?

I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion.

No, but having an irrational hatred for homosexuals is akin to having an irrational fear of anything.

I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.

Everyone has the right to be tolerated. You don't have to agree, or even listen, just tolerate. If someone denies another persons right to be tolerated, they lose theirs.


My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.


Isn't that one of the advantages of Democracy, to be able to speak your mind? Or did your ancestors just die for America, not Democracy? Who are you talking about anyway, and how are they disrespecting America?


I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be "African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and nowhere else

There is a difference between your ancestors migration to the US and an African-American's.

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It's the difference between suicide and slow capitulation... - Jim Morrison

It's true that these orgs are keeping the lie of race alive. We have destroyed all institutions that create racism, but their legacies do still exist. The problem is that if we ignore them and the traces of racism, they don't go away. There is no simple answer. Saying that "minorities are victims of nothing but numbers" is an answer too simple to be the right one.


I'm with you 100%, Joker. It is a dumb analogy. The reason I find conservatives so irritating is that even when I agree with them on a policy issue, I despise their simplistic, moronic reasoning. If that makes me an elitist, then I'm a ^$#%@# elitist. Hand me the espresso (@#%#@ that. Stick with my coffee)


I say "fair enough". But doesn't it sort of contradict the first quote. If the United Negro College Fund is racist, then... Like I said: simplistic, moronic thinking. I'll have a refill on that espresso.

What's the point. It's still not something that justifies screwing over and being generally nasty to certain people. In fact it's even less justified if there's nothing to fear. So you're not a scaredy-cat. You're a hateful person. Okay. I'll take a double shot now, with Amaretto.

I'm with you 100%, Joker. And I fail to see how being intolerant is somehow so feared by the right. People who believe in the free market seem to fear the free market of ideas and culture. Intolerance is fine as long as it stays in the realm of opinion. Perhaps we should really tick off the right by using the phrase "Tolerophobic".

True. But most arrests are for drug offenses, which I feel is stupid, but we'll pretend it isn't. Why don't the suburbanite potheads and pillpoppers get arrested in such numbers. Maybe not racism, but something is going on.

Who the %$#% doesn't speak English when addressing customers in a store in a neighborhood that is not segregated? Sometimes they speak their own language to other people while you're there. Sometimes they speak bad English with an accent. Sometimes they stay mostly silent. I've yet to have a gas station attendant speak Arabic to me while I pay. Sometimes they're hard to understand. But his English is better than my Arabic! I guess I just tolerate it. Oh yeah. Rooney's exercising his right to intolerance. Kudos to the great defender of good ol' middle-American hate!


Yeah, we showed a lot of respect to the Indians! %#%#@% you! The free market logic also goes on to ideas. Why is your "traditional" culture so special while you disregard all others. As long as someone's not pushing their culture on you and they're adjusting enough to be part of the market and contribute, shut the %#% up and leave these people alone. But I guess the right to intolerance justifies the right to force your ideas on to others.

Cops should be able to shoot you if you THREATEN them. Period. Don't threaten the police. Or anyone for that matter. Even people who don't have the same cultural background as you.


Kind of. Depends though. The reason we do it is to create incentive for smart, entrepreneurial foreigners to come in and make up for the failings of our mostly lazy, non-risk-taking population. True, it goes too far in allowing any kind of business to be started, without any regard to whether we need one or not. But how many doctors do you think we'd have in this country if we didn't give aid to foreigners in starting their own offices? Do people like Rooney actually choose death over dealing with a doctor with an accent? If so, I %##@%% encourage it!


The Constitution was made purposely vague. The thing is that no one can seem to agree with what it means. But frankly, I think it was good that we allowed it to "live" in order to give universal sufferage and end slavery. Perhaps in the future, we will be viewed as allowing totalitarian use of government but idealized as godly ancestors.

Not many people do hate the rich. Some do pity the poor. I pity some of the poor and many of the rich as well (not because of their taxation, but because of their addictions). But the trouble is that once again we have an empty soundbite, another simplistic fortune cookie quote. It's a rationalization to allow people to ignore what some of the rich do wrong and what some of the poor do right. I think such ignorance is wrong and I don't believe in unearned hand-outs for any but the disabled. And I certainly don't think we should pity the rich or hate the poor either, which can just as easily be applied to the right as Rooney's quote can be to the left. Simpleton thinking is a two-way door. I'll have a Cappucino this time. Extra froth.


Agreed. Is there contraversy over this?


I agree. But that doesn't mean all monopolies or oligopolies with high entry barriers are a wonderful thing that anyone can break into. Kudos to Gates for making his own monopoly. And it's not really a monopoly. And I don't think he's selfish. He does do a lot for charity.

I think people should stay out of such things since they don't know the real context. But authoritarian parenting is the way of neanderthals. I'm not so much against spanking. I'm against the "Do what your told because I said so" and the spankings that are delivered for ambiguous reasons and the huge array of rules that make pleasing parents impossible and lead to deviant behavior or mental lacking later on. But a passer-by cannot see this. We wind up having to trust that families will learn on their own (there are books out at least).

I can deal with that.

.Yeah, I think liberals regret political correctness more than anyone. Might as well have been called "Political Suicide". But we do have a free market and any business that wishes to cater to diverse folk will use generic language and policies and will call specific groups what they want to be called. Same with anyone who wants friends. Hate to tell ya, but as much as anti-PC sells, so does PC. So grin and bear it. For business it's a lot like not having noserings. But once again here's the anti-tolerance (tolerophobic) activist getting P!$$ed off about what others call themselves. Note that such things always begin with either "I know a lot of blacks and" or "I'm not racist but".


Did he write that? I hope he realizes it's a living document. That "under God" wasn't always there.

I'll admit, atheists do get caught up in the dumb battles. But of course the other 86% do often say "Shut Up" and lend creedence to the ideas that they are overbearing and obnoxious. Of course they also spend a lot of time telling each other to shut up! Oh, I get it! He's calling for class-consciousness among the religious and a theocratic revolution! %#@%@#% Commie!

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That information is classified and to be given only on a need-to-know basis...

And I do not need to know.

I've recieved the same email several times over the past few years. Didn't sound like Rooney, and it wasn't:

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/rooney4.asp

Here is something Andy actually did say:
"About a year ago, I became aware of a more serious theft of my name and it is so hurtful to my reputation that it calls for legal action against the thief. Hundreds of people have written asking if I really wrote the 20 detestable remarks made under my name that have had such wide circulation on the Internet.

Some of the remarks, which I will not repeat here, are viciously racist and the spirit of the whole thing is nasty, mean and totally inconsistent with my philosophy of life. It is apparent that the list of comments has been read by hundreds of thousands of Americans, many of whom must believe that it accurately represents opinions of mine that I don't dare express in my column or on television. It is seriously damaging to my reputation."

And something else:
"There's a collection of racist and sexist remarks on the Internet under a picture of me with the caption ‘ANDY ROONEY SAID ON 60 MINUTES.’ If I could find the person who did write it using my name I would sue him."

OK. Alter my post. Replace all instances of Rooney with [Anonymous].
I thought I saw the same stuff posted by Bronco a while back without Rooney's name mentioned.

I got something similar- a "Real American" thread with more libertarian stuff attached that was attributed once to George Carlin and once to Ted Nugent. I think it's a bunch of BS. I wonder who starts these things and if celebs actually endorse them.

I had more mixed feelings about the "Real American" e-mail. A lot of it was equally simplistic, so it seemed fitting for Nugent (I can't stand Nugent- he's the epitome of all that I can't stand about cons, even if he is a little bit libertarian [not as much as people seem to think] AND I think he's an overrated guitarist and that Stranglehold song is %@#%@# boring) but not for Carlin (who is my hero, who is not simple-minded in the least bit, the greatest comedian ever, and a big inspiration in my life [it shows, doesn't it?])

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That information is classified and to be given only on a need-to-know basis...

And I do not need to know.

thanks for the update, liberty. i thought they sounded strange. ive seen rooney a couple of times on 60 minutes and never thought his views were that strong. ill have to start a new chain email with his response to this. thanks.

__________________
WARNING: In the unlikely event of an accidental agreement with any or all points made in the above post, contact a clinical psychologist immediately.

The views expressed in the above post are not necessarily those of Joker and/or any of his affiliates.

. "You have found the secret message. Do you have too much time on your hands? ...Let it go."

Black ppl have the right to voice their concerns that they face that white ppl don't face. I've been stop and search by the police in white neighborhood. He pat me down and let me go. I later drove around and saw a bunch of white kids throw junk out of a car. Latinos have issues too such as language barrier and cultural barrier b/t generations

Guns are design to kill, car are design for driving, bats are design for hitting a ball (not the ones men have), end of disscusion



Ok then, maybe I will have the right to act smug towards you. Get a life and stop complaining if you have problem with tolerance.


my friend was outside the park waiting for his sister, when 2 white cops pulled their guns and told him to get out of the car. He doesn't do drugs but they search his car anyway. They told him everytime he see him driving they will stop him. His only crime was that he has braided hair and wears t-shirts. I bet you never had your mom tell you once in your life not to speed and watch you act b/c the police are watching

Agree, not for his bigotry but for the sole fact that politicians and businessmen do business in english. If we latinos are to make it in this country we have to adapt to language and not be taken advantage of

How, we latinos give you cheap labor and good services. Our women improve the country's look.

Police need to learn some patients and just say stop, in spanish freeze mean feeling frozen


It capitalism, ppl born in this country should be able to handle a lil bit of competition, if not then your sorry ass deserve to be flippin burgers


Blame politicians in both parties, they both use the constitution to their own liking.



if my momma didn't smack all those time i would proabably running the streets act an fool.


Me too, personally i don't care if you call me a Mexican, i could care less, it just makes you look stupid.

You know what is the sad thing, most of white America feel this way.

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In the land of the blind, the man with one eye is the king
- Nas