This was on a different forum. Wonder if riots will ensue? Have a great day!

PRESS RELEASE

October 12, 2007

Just in time for Christmas, YKJ Toys President Bill R. Thomas is proud to announce the new “Prophet MoHAMmad Talking Action-Figure”, as part of our “Heroes of Free Speech!” line of high-quality plastic action-figures.

The doll’s turban has a distinctive grenade shape topped by a cord that looks suspiciously like a fuse. A first glance, the body and face look remarkably like a bearded pig, and the left hand—the “unclean” hand Muslims use for toileting—holds a copy of the Qur’an.

These figures are very anatomically correct, if you know what we mean. But think “Pee-Wee Herman” action figure, and not “Tommy Lee” action figure.


Squeeze Mohammad, and he spouts one of 36 different hilarious statements, many from the Qur’an itself. Some examples are:

“Aisha, get your cute little keister in here, pronto….Daddy wants some sugar!” (Mohammad had sex with 9 year-old Aisha: Bukhari, Volume 5, Book 58, Number 236.)

“….oh, and bring your dolls with you…that always really turns my crank!”

“At first, I tried offering my followers 72 RAISINS to get them to blow themselves up for Allah. But then I found that 72 VIRGINS scored much much higher in focus-groups…and the rest, as they say, is history.”

“Yes, in Qur’an 4:34 I do instruct men to BEAT their wives if they don’t obey them…but hey, you got a BETTER idea to keep them beyotches in line, Brainiac!?”

“Look, Dr. Phil says I’m technically NOT a paedophile if I don’t prefer, repeat PREFER, to have sex with children over adults, ok!?”

“Yes, uh, Allah said to me that I’m the only man in the world that can have more than four wives…hey stop laughing!....seriously, he did…why would I make that up?” (Qur’an 33:50 only permitted Mohammad to have more than four wives.)

“Islam is The Religion of Peace! And if you don’t believe that we’ll frickin’ kill you!!”

“Yes, my child, Islam is The Religion of Peace!....heh…..heh heh…..HA HA HA HA!…..”

“Even George Bush calls it ‘The Religion of Peace’…heh heh, god, what a frickin’ idiot!”

“Yes, uh, Allah said for all Muslims to give ME a percentage of the booty they plunder…hey, stop laughing!....seriously, he did…why would I make that up?....seriously…..” (Qur’an 8:41)

“Look, if YOU are picked by Allah to deliver the greatest message of all time then YOU can also have sex with your own daughter-in-law…until then, dude, BACK THE F.O.!” (Mohammad had sex with his daughter-in-law.)

“[Mohammad recording a Public Service Announcement for Islam:] Ok, ok, ok, I won’t crack up this time, I swear…ok, here goes…eh, hem, ’ISLAM IS THE RELIGION OF PEACE…HA HA HA’, [slaps knee] I CAN’T FRICKIN’ DO IT, MAN! Hey, Ahmed, quit looking at me like that, dude! This isn’t easy ‘bro, seriously, YOU try it!”

“Muslims won’t kill you because you LEAVE ISLAM, we’ll kill you because you REJECT ALLAH…see the difference?” (Bukhari Volume 9, Book 84, Number 57.)

“Look, dude, chill-out, it’s just a COINCIDENCE that more terrorists are named ‘Mohammad’ than any other name in world history.”

“The REASON we kill people who leave Islam is because, well, have you heard the old business adage ‘it’s cheaper to keep a current customer than recruit a new one’? Besides, our recruitment budget is way way down.”

“Why, yes, I did indeed say that women are deficient intellectually and spiritually. Hey, just look at Britney, Paris, and Rosie!" (Bukhari Volume 1, Book 6, Number 301.)

“Free Speech is Western Terrorism!”

“Jews are apes and pigs! 9/11 was a Jewish conspiracy! NO we’re not paranoid!” (Qur’an 7:166, 2:65, and 5:60.)



An “IRANIAN PRESIDENT MAHMOUD AHMANUTJOB” action figure is also coming soon!:
“There are no gays in Iran. How do I know, you ask? Well, because every Iranian man I’ve propositioned for sex has turned me down, so….” (He said there are no gays in Iran, at Columbia University.)

“The Holocaust is a myth…but the 12th Imam, who’s been hiding in a well for hundreds of years, waiting to re-appear, is not!”



An AISHA action figure is also coming soon!:
“Is it in yet?” (Mohammad was pretty insecure…and we think we know why.)

“Well, because you’re 53 years-old….and I’m 9 years-old…THAT’S why I ‘just don’t understand you anymore’!”

“For the last time, the reason I don’t need ‘protection’ is because I’m only NINE, jerk-wad.”

“Yes, why actually, yes, you ARE indeed the ‘biggest’ man I’ve ever ever had [this (*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*) always forgets that I’m only 9!]”



21,000 units have been produced in our Shanghai facility, and have been shipped to retailers in the Middle East, Europe and North America.

Also included, at no extra charge, is one of the Danish Cartoons of Mohammad, that we’ve secured the legal rights to. It’s a high-quality 24” x 36” reproduction. Perfect for home or office.

You even get a free 24” x 36” high-quality print produced exclusively for us, by artist Bill Jenson, entitled “Mohammad as dog.”

Only $39.99. Strike a blow for free speech, buy yours today!

Hey F-S, that's a great find, man!

Is that for real, or just a forum joke?

'Cause I mean, if that's anywhere near "for real", all I have to say is -

I love it!!!





This is exactly what we need. It has to come from individuals, through free enterprise. I mean, you know, the same thing as O'Reilly selling a "Don't Taze Me, Bro" bumper sticker.

You know, I mean, how can I say this.... um.... I'm an "equal opportunity hater", right? I hate everyone and everything "equally". I mean, there's no reason anyone oughta be arrogant enough to feel "special" in that regard.

You know, so when I hear about Muslims getting all outraged when someone pokes fun at their religion, my response is, "get over yourself, ya moron you...." Know what I mean? 'Cause like, I ain't about violating anyone's religion, but that doesn't mean I gotta respect it either.

No sirree Bob - in fact, I'd rather say, it's my God-given right to stick a big middle finger up into your God's eye (you know, whatever God "you" happen to believe in)..... um..... lemme give you analogy - did you ever see the movie "Conan the Barbarian" with Guv'nator Ahnuld and Sandahl Bergman and all that? Well, there's this great scene where Conan is talking about his God (Krumm, I think, was his name, r.... His... name).... you know, and he's talking to his little thief-friend guy, and they're like arguing over whose God is mightier - more powerful - "better", right?

And you know, "my" perspective on this, (my "personal" persepctive, not my "We the People" perspective) - is that "I", as a child of God, am pretty (*)(*)(*)(*) lucky to have been given whatever small glimpse of reality that I've been allowed to have, and I mean, I stipulate that whatever glipmse that is, it's just a tiny one, and even a tiny subset of the sum total of all the glimpses that people are getting out there -

And so I mean, to me, a model that says, "the reason you believe differently than I do, is only 'cause you're seeing that diamond from a different angle, and therefore you're seeing a different facet of it" - that kinda model, is much more operational, than a model that leads to an argument over "whose" perception of whichever "facet" of reality they happen to be looking at, is the Truth with a capital "T".

So you know, if you take your own personal beliefs so seriously that you can't countenance that anyone else might validly hold "different" ones, then you're just a fool - and an arrogant fool at that. And I mean, it sounds like "a lot" of these Muslims qualify in that regard, yes?

And so I mean, what's the best way to deal with someone who's "sensitive" that way? What do the psychologists say in that regard? Well, there are various "opinions", on what the "best" method is ( ) - but one of the more successful methods, involves a concept knows as "de-sensitization". See where I'm going with this?

To me, personally, that's like someone coming out with the (*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*) Doll. Yeah of course you can have it, and no one should try to stop you, but it doesn't necessarily make it all-okay if you claim free speech as your only defense.

To me it simplifies and demonizes the entire religion of Islam. I mean if it was "just" a doll, then I wouldn't have much of a problem, but the actual words that come out are clearly a misrepresentation of an entire group of people's beliefs.

It's as if my fictional "(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*) doll" said things like "Cornbread, Fryed Chiyecken and Watermelon are my favurite things!"

This type of doll just promotes stereotypes and bigotry against people of Islamic faith.

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Couldn't have said it better.

And..... so what?

You're making the "hate speech" argument, right?

The "inciteful, inflammatory" stuff that's "likely to cause riots", that kinda thing?

Well, how "robust" do you think our concept of "free speech" is?

I mean, right now, I can use the word "(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)" in print. There, I just did it. I could say it a million times in a row, and I could even get right into some black person's face and just keep saying it until I get decked..... and you know, the reality of that, is that some people are gonna give me a thumbs-up, but like, 99% of the people out there, aren't gonna want to have anything to do with me after that, right?

But they're not going to arrest me for saying it, are they? Unless I really do, you know, walk right into the middle of the AME Church during Sunday services and really get in someone's face with that kinda stuff, right?

But I mean, "other places in the world", the way they do PC there, is even wierder than the way we do it here. You know, like in Germany and Austria, you can't say that the holocaust never happened. It's a crime, to do that.

But here, I mean, you know, you hear "all the time" about artists that do their little statues of Jesus with the urine, and all that stuff, and I mean, that's "art", right? It's distasteful, for most of us, but it is constitutionally protected.

So I mean, this is kinda how I envisioned this working: you know, "right now", most of those Islamists are "over there", and we're "over here". Well what happens to Nike's? What happens to Coca Cola? All "our" products end up "over there" eventually, right? So, we have, you know, Toys-R-Us or someone, start things off by making a few Mohammed dolls. Nothing "serious", just the dolls. That, in and of itself (we just found out, based on what happened with that teacher in the Sudan), is gonna offend some peoples' sensibilities, right?

But what'll happen then, is that the dolls will gradually find their way overseas, and they'll surreptitiously "infiltrate the society" over there. And how that happens, is, you know, some disgruntled teenager is gonna be checking out what kinds of things he can find on the "black market" in his country, and suddenly, boom, there's a doll, and then he's gonna think to himself, "you know, this is just anti-establishment enough so I can use this for my personal politics", and then pretty soon all his friends are seeing it, and then, you know, maybe one of 'em throws it away and some little three year old kid finds it and takes it home to mommy, and by that time, it doesn't even matter any more - the doll is old and dirty and beat up, and mommy takes a look at it, and it "kinda sorta" looks like Mohammed, but she hasn't heard about all the politics in the US, and she hasn't heard we're trying to organize a concerted propaganda campaign to send "Mohammed dolls" to her country, so.....

You know, and then, pretty soon you've got hundreds of old beat-up "Mohammed dolls" floatin' around in all the Muslim thrift shops and whatever their equivalent of Goodwill is, over there, and then, it's not such a big deal anymore, right? I mean, "here", that would be almost like finding an old copy of the Little Red Book or the Anarchists' Cookbook, at your local Goodwill, yes?

So yes, I fully expect, that the reaction of people "now", would be, that many of them would be offended.

But that was the whole point. The sooner you start de-sensitizing them, the better off you're gonna be. 'Cause if you don't de-sensitize them, then they're gonna be just as sensitive "tomorrow", and then your problem's gonna go on FOREVER, which would be a bad outcome.

So nah, I think we oughta stand up for our principles. Free speech trumps religious belief, EVERY TIME. That's the way it works around here. And I think we oughta show the rest of the world, HOW that works for us, by exercising our free speech rights.

Just like I'm doing now. Bushie is an idiot. There, see? Bushie probably hates my guts right now, but there isn't a (*)(*)(*)(*) thing he can do to me. And I mean, you know, if he wants to shoot me or send his minions to do the same, then someone's gonna know about it, and they're gonna tell you about it.

So yeah, I fully expect some period of tension. I do think though, a little tension is better than "trying to keep the lid on a war".

Actually I wasn't making that argument, I just believe that there are better ways to use free speech and promote a tolerance amongst all people. You can criticize and hate all you want, and if you incite riots, I don't care either. What I am saying is that this doll is doing a disservice to people's understanding of the Muslim religion.

What I take most offense to is how one-sided and inane the doll's dialogue is. Yeah you can have free speech and say whatever you want and become a racist bigot, but I don't believe that enhances how cultures will "come together."

Honestly this made absolutely no sense whatsoever to me. How will dolls that spew hateful remarks really desensitize us in a "good" way? If anything it seems it would polarize people, because becoming disensitized is not always a good thing. Take violence for example or in this case racism. Sure we shouldn't be so sensative to people's feelings that we censor people's thoughts, but the promotion of steryotypes and hateful images doesn't help the populace either.

I don't think anyone in this post is saying there shouldn't be a doll, but I think some of us can disagree with what the doll is promoting. Yes, free speech is one of the issues around the doll, but so is a disrespectful attack against the muslim religion. It's the exact same reason the KKK is allowed to exist in the United States, but it doesn't mean I have to agree with their message. I think a simplistic doll with the name "mohammed" would be much more effective and ground-breaking than some Chatty Kathy Doll that spews anti-islamic rants.

So buy the doll all you want but if you are simply using the cover of "free speech" as your pretext for your purchase, you might want to realize that you might want to try and buy a "(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*) Doll" as well so it will desensitize us to the race problem in the United States.

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Okay, I understand.

I still think, though, that this is kinda "excessively PC".

I mean, 'cause, consider: here in San Francisco, there's the Church of Satan. And I mean, these guys, are genuine, honest, devil worshippers. You know, they even get decked out in black and red robes, and stuff like that.

And I mean, you know, if you start talking to any of those guys about Jesus, you're gonna get a stream of hatred like you've never heard before. But they're not gonna get in anyone's face about it, right? That's the point. The mere act of "creating" such a doll, is not the equivalent of walking into the AME Church during sunday services. It's only the equivalent of creating the statue of Christ with the urine, and I mean, yes if offends Christians, but so what?

I mean, really, the meta-point, is, that if your "belief system" is robust, then you're gonna be able to tolerate "any manner" of offense in that regard.

You know, I posted in another thread about this old Jewish guy I know, and how he responded when he happened to overhear someone saying that Jews were the source of all the evil and rottenness in the world. You know, the guy identifed as a human being "first", and I saw him sittin' there with his arm around the person who said that, consoling her 'cause she was so terribly embarrassed, and this guy was just tellin' her this story about the way things were when "he" grew up, you know, just to calm her down a little, and I mean, you know, this is the deal, right? Someone comes up to you and tells you you're the spawn of Satan, and you're gonna feel sorry for 'em and put your arm around 'em and say, "what's wrong? can I help?"

What's offensive, to me, is when "I" have to pay homage to "your" God.

Nah, I'm not gonna do that kinda thing. I'm gonna sit here and tell you that your God sucks, and then I'm gonna show you why, and I'm gonna do it over and over again until you understand.

See, I mean, there's something more fundamental in play here, than just "religious belief", and the idea that we shouldn't be "offending someone's sensibilities".

I mean, 'cause people have crazy sensibilities, right? Really wierd stuff. You know, the trivial example would be the little old lady who's gonna frown at anyone who's wearing blue jeans, and really frown if there's a tear in 'em anywhere.

So the way "I" look at that kinda thing, is, when I'm on the little old lady's turf, I'm gonna respect her "sensitivities". But when she's on mine, I expect her to do that same thing. And if we're on PUBLIC ground, I'm just gonna ignore her and do whatever I want, 'cause I have the Right to do that. (yep, the ol' "'cause I can" argument.... ) -

You know, and I mean, I'm sorry if it offends her, that I'm wearing blue jeans. But like, she has no Right to impose her beliefs in my space, or her morality, or anything else that's "private to her". You know, if she wants, she's entirely free to call the cops and try to have me arrested. I don't they'd do that, but it's entirely within her rights as a citizen to do that.

What wouldn't be in her rights, would be to shoot me on the spot. Or cut my head off. Or some such thing.

See, the problem with this kind of thing, in regards to We the People, is the children.

'Cause I mean, kids don't know nothin' from nothin', when they start out, and you know, the parents can't teach 'em "everything" before they have to let 'em go out into the real world, so like, you know, here's this innocent ten year old kid, and suddenly he's gettin' an earful from this old lady, about what a bad and rotten child he is 'cause he's wearing blue jeans - and I mean, old ladies DO that kinda stuff, and they ESPECIALLY do it whenever they think they can "get away with it", 'cause that's just the way a lof of old ladies ARE - you know, nothin' against 'em, it's just the way they ARE, it's a frog being a frog, and a scorpion being a scorpion, and an old lady being an old lady.

So it seems to me, that it's in society's best interest, if "I" as an individual, do my utmost to "de-sensitize" the old ladies, so that when my son starts wearing jeans, that he's less likely to come home crying 'cause he's just been told by some bitter old lady that he's a very bad boy. So, if "I" do my best to always run around in blue jeans everywhere I go, and make sure that I cross a lot of old ladies' paths in public places, then what's gonna happen is they're gonna start getting "de-sensitized" to the perceptual "reaction" they get when they see a pair of blue jeans. You know, after the 100th one, it's gonna be "there goes another hippy" instead of "there's that (*)(*)(*)(*) hippy again".

Is this "analogy" making sense?

So now, on to the "de-sensitization" concept.

Ah Jeez.... um.... I'm not quite sure I should even go where I think the obvious place to go is, on this one.... I'll just say one thing: do you remember the "Sambo's" restaurants? Well...... :eyebrow: They're all gone now, but is it possible that they could have served any kind of "useful purpose" in this regard, during their brief existence?

Yeah, I don't know about the "anti-Islamic rants" part - I was kinda envisioning that whole bit, coming "later". You know, that would be like, "de-sensitization Phase IV" or something. "Phase I" would just be introducing the dolls, without any speech. "Phase II" might be adding a little speech, like something very inoffensive. "Phase III" might be kicking up the volume a little, like maybe "My name is talking Tina, and I like Mohammed, and I like Jesus and Buddha too", you know, and then the full-on Phase IV would be the dripping syphilitic.... body-parts of the nearest pig saint, or whatever (which, by the way, is a very popular curse in Croatia, they're very "serious" about their religion over there - so much so, that they use that kinda thing to "lighten up a conversation" ) - and you know, you could have the doll holding a football or something in one hand, and the head of George Bush or the nearest Jew in the other.... You know, really "make a statement".....

Nah, look, I'm being, like, 90% facetious. But you see what I was thinking, right? You know, putting on my best "Karl Rove" hat (or Goebbels, or let's see, the soft version of that would be Madison Avenue), I'm trying to figure out how we go about changing the "stereotypes" over there. Right? Not "here" - we don't have a problem with that part (I mean, Bushie does, but most of the rest of us kinda understand what's going on). So, you know, you gotta be "sly" about that kinda thing. There are probably some "strategies" that could work in that regard. You know, like, make the first doll really friendly or something, and then pretty soon maybe you've got a whole array of dolls with different characteristics, like a collection of Hot Wheels or something - you know, so you've got the "good dolls" and the "evil dolls", and you set it up in such a way that the division there, can't be "perverted" or "spun" by the nearest Muslim Imam - yes?

Let me "spin" that thought a different way.

Um.... it seems to me, that what's dangerous for We the People, is when things happen like what just happened up in Canada (Toronto? Vancouver?) where a Muslim guy killed his own daughter 'cause she stopped wearing the traditional head-scarf.

That, right there, is where I, "as a citizen", draw the line.

At that point, I'm not interested in your beliefs or sensibilities, I'm just gonna see to it that you're removed from society.

What I'd like to do, is catch you "before" your belief system translates into action that way.

So like, what I'm gonna "try" to do, is talk to you, and then probably in the process of doing that, I'm gonna discover that you're really REALLY pissed about your daughter, and it's because she's offending your sensibilities by wearing blue jeans, or whatever.

And then, that's the crucial moment. 'Cause now, it's a matter of me being able to "explain" it to you, in a way that makes sense to you - in your value system, yes? 'Cause if I can't do that, when we're not gonna be able to communicate, I'm not gonna be able to "deliver" the concept to you. So I'm going to have to "articulate", very carefully, the central concept.

And I mean, I have "lots" of experience in these types of discussions, right? People wanna drag 'em all over the place, you know, you start out talking about head-scarves and pretty soon you're deep into the Quran.

And in the Muslim tradition, you can't start out talking to these people, the same way I'm talking to you now, or the same way I "normally" post on this forum. It just, wouldn't work. It would be "non-operational". And I mean, I can even give you specific examples based on specific historical posts in this forum of exactly why that's true, and examples thereof, with Muslim folks that are actually over in the Middle East somewhere. I can show you the "approach" that worked, and the "approach" that didn't.

But it seems to me, that something like a doll, has a "different" effect, than a face-to-face discussion about logic or philosophy or religion. I mean, it "registers" differently on the mind. So like, you know, it's gonna be that same guy, who's offended by that kind of thing, who's gonna kill his daughter for not wearing the head-scarf. You know, so you gotta design the doll so it doesn't contribute to that kinda thing, right? I mean, this concept, right here, is what I'm talking about when I say it's important to be "smart" about diplomacy, and Bushie is "stupid" that way. You gotta know what that symbolism means in the first place, before you try to use it to change anything. So, you know, if your doll is wearing anything that looks like a Saracen cross, it's not gonna go over too well, right?

So, you know, it's the "hard way", which involves a deep philosophical quagmire which can only be resolved by repeated consultations in the Quran and a personal visit to the Imam, or the "easy way", which involves looking at a doll and getting a gestalt that "this cute friendly little thing can't possibly be dangerous".

Hmm..... make sense? Or am I nuts?

It does seem to be in pretty poor taste.

But then, I watch National Lampoon movies. So what do I know. I've seen two movies this year where women are splashed with dog semen.

EDIT: That's incorrect. I apologize.

I was thinking of National Lampoon's Van Wilder and National Lampoon's Van Wilder II: The Rise of Taj. But a woman is only splashed with dog semen in the second movie. In the first movie, the dog semen is injected into donuts and eaten by fratboys, or something like that.

Dog semen gags. Risky gimmick.

Exactly. Precisely. You got it.

See? It worked on "you", right?

Here, let me give you another analogy. Like, in "my" case, you can probably tell "very easily" where my political values are, right? I kinda wear 'em on my sleeve, and I do that deliberately, 'cause I'm trying to continue to test my model in real time, all the time. (so far, so good. )

See, this is where..... Jeez.... you know, if Bushie would put smart guys on this problem, instead of on partisan politicking, then I'd be a lot happier with that idiot. But ah... instead, we get the story of Karen Hughes....

But yeah, I mean, you hit the nail right on the head. Islam, is far from homogeneous. That's a "feature" of it, and one that can be used to advantage, when thinking about strategies for how to "influence" it.

You know, right now, Bushie's "strategy for how to influence it", is mainly to start wars in those countries where he thinks the governments are "especially extreme". But in my eyes, that's just putting band-aids on open sores, when what you really should be doing, is giving the patient penicillin.

And I mean, "penicillin", in this case, involves "influencing the value system". That's the systemic cure, for the particular problem at hand, which is the radical element of Islam.

'Cause I mean, from a belief standpoint, radical Islamists are exactly the same as Young-Earth creationists. There's no difference.

But from an "influence" standpoint, it's something very different. The whole "language" is different. You gotta talk in Hadith and Sharia, instead of Leviticus and Revelations.

So I mean, it seems to me, that at the juncture of those two concepts, lies the solution.

And this "doll" thing, is exactly in that space. Isn't it? Or at least, it "could" be, if done correctly.

So I mean, yeah... you know, those hijacker dudes, a couple of 'em actually went out and visited hookers the night before or a couple nights before or something like that - remember that? There's like a whole fascinating "human nature" undercurrent in those guys, and I mean, hey, you know, if anyone wants to believe that "human nature" over there is any different than "human nature" over there, I'll be the first one to stand up and call BS. As far as I can tell, human nature hasn't changed in 10,000 years - or at least "all of recorded history".