Just learned today that my husband could have beaten me yesterday and been charged with assault and would still be entitled to half the marital assets if we divorce.

Our divorce laws need reform, badly. They do not take into consideration the changing economic status of women, the vast majority of whom now work and make as much money as men, and are based upon a social family structure (working dad, stay at home mom) that is now largely non-existent.

I'm really shocked and appalled at how badly i'm gonna get screwed financially in all of this since i am the primary breadwinner.

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I'll get nicer when you get smarter.

The days when women mostly stayed at home are long gone. But it takes laws decades to catch up with reality. Unfortunately, you are stuck in the middle. I feel for you.

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I wasn't born with enough middle fingers.

Quite true. What irks me the most is how fathers are treated in custody battles. I have a friend going through a divorce right now who is a much, much better father than she is a mother, but he's going to have to fight tooth and nail to get to see his kids more often than every other weekend. He could care less that his financial situation is ruined for the next 15 years... he just wants to see his kids.

inclination toward giving the mother custody. For a guy to get custody his wife pretty much has to be a crack head. If it's true he's a better dad (and I'm sure it is), I hope he somehow wins.

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I wasn't born with enough middle fingers.

Having parents who are divorced I know how tough that can be. I hope for the best for you during this.

In terms of the divorce laws, I agree they need to be changed right along with the custody laws and financial support laws for women and kids. One of my best friends is a firefighter, when he was in the midst of the divorce his wife threatened to kill herself and their daughter on his voice mail. He brought the tape to court and custody was switched to him from her. This was the ONLY reason he got custody despite a list of reasons showing her to be unstable. Oh, and of course the financial arrangements were he had to pay $500/month when she had custody, but when he got it she paid zero. If divorce laws are going to be changed they should be changed all around.

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All you need to know about the energy crisis:
ANWR Exploration Republicans: 91% Supported. Democrats: 86% Opposed.
Coal-to-liquid R's: 90% YES. D's: 78% NO.
Oil Shale Exploration R's: 90% YES. D's: 86% NO.
Outer Continental Shelf Exploration R's: 81% YES. D's: 83% NO.
Increased Refinery Capacity R's: 97% YES. D's: 96% NO

SUMMARY: 91% of House Republicans have historically voted to increase the production of America’s own oil and gas. 86% of House Democrats have historically voted against.

men should have equitable treatment in child custody issues and unless one parent hasn't worked by result of the decision of both partners, there should be no more of this taking from one partner to give to the other partner b.s. when it comes to income.

My husband was able-bodied, the reason he made less money was that he didn't make good career decisions. Those decisions were fully within his control and were a result of his choices.

I should not be penalized for his poor choices.

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I'll get nicer when you get smarter.

Congratulations, catz. Yes, that's what I mean. I've found that by the time someone reaches this point, they have been so miserable for so long that a gigantic weight is lifted from their shoulders. You're gonna be fine. Just be glad that you have the ability to make real money. Many women are stuck in bad marriages because they don't think they have an alternative.

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"Government exists to protect us from each other. Where government has gone beyond its limits is in deciding to protect us from ourselves." ~Ronald Reagan

I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel...And I believe things will get better. But yes, 12 years of misery are almost over.

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I'll get nicer when you get smarter.

Is this the same husband that you have been singing the praises of for as long as you have been here?

Of course, not to sound mean, but I do hope that things work out for you... I just am slightly confused as to how the life you spent with your husband was "12 years of misery" when you have always portrayed it as the most perfectest marriage evah in every post I have seen you mention your marriage.

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I was banned from godlike productions(over 400 times)... and loved it.

"I haven't made you angry, have I?" -Malcolm Reynolds

sorry to hear you are going through this presently - of course, the situation will improve, but I understand your frustrations regarding the law...

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"A man's work is nothing but this slow trek to rediscover, through the detours of art, those two or three great and simple images in whose presence his heart first opened."