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Thread: Facebook TOS in Bro-speak

  1. Default Facebook TOS in Bro-speak

    This is simply awesome. I wish all TOSs were written like this. I wish this forum's TOS was written like this.

    http://slacktory.com/2011/08/entire-...-in-bro-speak/

    This translation contains bad language and adult situations, and is rated PG-13. You have been warned.

    A sample you say?

    2. Sharing your Content and Information

    Good news! Everything you put on Facebook is yours. Seriously, we would never steal it from you, because that would be a dick move. You have complete control over your own (*)(*)(*)(*) in the settings. Uh, except for a few things:

    1. For things covered by intellectual property law, (which is, I mean, just minor (*)(*)(*)(*) like your pictures and videos; whatever, amirite?) you grant us license to use it literally however the (*)(*)(*)(*) we want for as long as it’s up. Seriously, we can blow up your pictures and Photoshop in sombreros and dicks and then put them up on billboards in Asia if we want. Also, we can let our friends use your (*)(*)(*)(*) however they want. But! Once you delete your (*)(*)(*)(*), then we’ll all stop using it. Unless, of course, your friends also have it up.
    2. When you delete intellectual property, we delete it the same way you delete files! Except we also keep backup copies. Only for a little while, though, and we won’t let anyone else use it. Pinky promise.


    http://slacktory.com/2011/08/entire-...-in-bro-speak/
    It is literally all 12000 pages of the Facebook TOS. And the scary thing is, I think it is pretty accurate.
    Last edited by Sadistic-Savior; Aug 12 2011 at 11:13 AM.

  2. Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sadistic-Savior View Post
    This is simply awesome. I wish all TOSs were written like this. I wish this forum's TOS was written like this.

    http://slacktory.com/2011/08/entire-...-in-bro-speak/

    This translation contains bad language and adult situations, and is rated PG-13. You have been warned.

    A sample you say?



    It is literally all 12000 pages of the Facebook TOS. And the scary thing is, I think it is pretty accurate.

    lol. fun to read

    Free Speech? Not on our watch. Hate speech, threats, porn? Nooope. What do you think this is, an ACLU rally? The First Amendment doesnít apply in here, mother(*)(*)(*)(*)ers. So donít be starting riots; we donít want to see violence, and we donít want to see your dick. (*)(*)(*)(*), we donít even want to see tits. Weíre that serious.

    "One of the ordinary modes, by which tyrants accomplish their purposes without resistance, is, by disarming the people, and making it an offense to keep arms."
    -Joseph Story

    "He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty, he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself."
    -Thomas Paine

  3. Icon11

    Granny got possum online tryin' to dump her Facebook shares...

    Facebook: Smells Like Enron
    6/08/12 --- In the world of investing, people tend to see only what they want to see, which can cause a world of pain. On this turf, "what you see is what you get" has never worked. "Due diligence" rules, as corporations have become highly skilled at pretending to be something they are not. One primary example being Enron, which not only brought increased scrutiny to corporate disclosures, but generated a new breed of investors filled with pessimism and mistrust toward Wall Street.
    There continues to be a fallout surrounding the Facebook(FB_) IPO, where even Robert Greifeld, the CEO of Nasdaq, is offering up apologies and considering ways to repair damages to brokers who suffered losses, particularly due to Nasdaq's "technical problems," among other things. However, in typical Wall Street fashion, these same brokers insist that the financial terms that have been hinted upon are not enough to cover what has been estimated to be over $100 million in losses.

    As Enron changed the world of auditing and corporate ethics, it seems Facebook will have a similar impact in the way investors view future IPOs. What's more, the company has created a much needed pessimism toward anything that is built up as "larger than life."

    Enron brought about change to the extent of Sarbanes-Oxley; should there be a Facebook-Nasdaq act to require that future IPOs are examined with more scrutiny in an effort to avoid repeating this embarrassment? If we know anything about Wall Street, it is that it will find a way to screw things up again and will want someone else to clean up the mess. As we are now on the three-week anniversary of the IPO, the stock is down 31% from its $38 opening price.

    However, while we are quick to question Facebook's current valuation and point fingers at who will pay for the disappointment, no one is looking into the most important question of all: How did underwriters justify a $38 opening price? How will investors be protected in the future, particularly those who spend hours on Facebook and believe wholeheartedly in "what you see is what you get?"

    Source

  4. Icon15

    Why would they want to track a non-user?...

    Facebook told by Belgian court to stop tracking non-users
    9 November 2015 - A court has given Facebook 48 hours to stop tracking people in Belgium who are not members of its social network.
    Facebook says it will appeal against the decision and that the order relates to a cookie it has used for five years. The cookie is installed when an internet user visits a Facebook page even if they are not members. However, the Belgian court said that the company was obliged to obtain consent to collect the information being gathered. "The judge ruled that this is personal data, which Facebook can only use if the internet user expressly gives their consent, as Belgian privacy law dictates," it said in a statement.


    The company said the cookie the ruling relates to is safe

    If Facebook fails to comply, it could face a fine of up to 250,000 euros (£180,000) per day. The fine would go to the Belgian Privacy Commission, which brought the case, the court added. Cookies are simple files that track whether a user has visited a website before and notify the site itself.

    They can track a number of user activities, such as how long they stayed, what they clicked and any preferences selected. "We've used the Datr cookie for more than five years to keep Facebook secure for 1.5 billion people around the world," said a Facebook spokesperson. "We will appeal this decision and are working to minimise any disruption to people's access to Facebook in Belgium."

    Facebook told by Belgian court to stop tracking non-users - BBC News
    See also:

    Facebook to appeal Belgian ruling ordering it to stop tracking non-users
    9 Nov.`15 - Facebook said on Monday it would appeal a court ruling ordering it to stop tracking the online activities of non-Facebook users in Belgium who visit Facebook pages, or face a 250,000 euro ($269,000) daily fine.0
    Belgium's data protection regulator took the U.S. company to court in June, accusing it of trampling on EU privacy law by tracking people without a Facebook account without their consent. At stake is the so-called 'datr' cookie, which Facebook places on people's browsers when they visit a Facebook.com site or click a Facebook 'Like' button on other websites, allowing it to track the online activities of that browser. "We've used the 'datr' cookie for more than five years to keep Facebook secure for 1.5 billion people around the world," a spokeswoman said. "We will appeal this decision and are working to minimise any disruption to people's access to Facebook in Belgium."


    Computer screens display the Facebook sign-in screen in this photo illustration

    The Brussels court ordered Facebook to stop tracking non-Facebook users in Belgium within 48 hours or pay a daily fine of 250,000 euros to the Belgian privacy regulator, said Margot Neyskens, spokeswoman for Bart Tommelein, Belgian secretary of state for the protection of privacy. "Facebook can not follow people on the internet who are not members of Facebook which is very logical because they can not have given permission to follow them," Tommelein said in an emailed statement.

    Facebook says the cookie only identifies browsers, not people and helps it to distinguish legitimate visits from those by attackers. The company has also argued that since it has its European headquarters in Ireland it should be regulated solely by the Irish Data Protection Commissioner. That argument was rejected by the Belgian privacy regulator. Tommelein said the fact that the Brussels court had ruled meant it had jurisdiction over the company.

    Facebook to appeal Belgian ruling ordering it to stop tracking non-users
    Last edited by waltky; Nov 09 2015 at 09:18 PM.

  5. Default

    Don't use facebook - it has become the true "opiate of the mass" - not only is it bad habit, but you're exposing yourselves while letting zuckerBIRD get rich and own your information in the process..

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