Thread: Facebook TOS in Bro-speak

This is simply awesome. I wish all TOSs were written like this. I wish this forum's TOS was written like this.

http://slacktory.com/2011/08/entire-...-in-bro-speak/

This translation contains bad language and adult situations, and is rated PG-13. You have been warned.

A sample you say?

2. Sharing your Content and Information

Good news! Everything you put on Facebook is yours. Seriously, we would never steal it from you, because that would be a dick move. You have complete control over your own (*)(*)(*)(*) in the settings. Uh, except for a few things:

1. For things covered by intellectual property law, (which is, I mean, just minor (*)(*)(*)(*) like your pictures and videos; whatever, amirite?) you grant us license to use it literally however the (*)(*)(*)(*) we want for as long as it’s up. Seriously, we can blow up your pictures and Photoshop in sombreros and dicks and then put them up on billboards in Asia if we want. Also, we can let our friends use your (*)(*)(*)(*) however they want. But! Once you delete your (*)(*)(*)(*), then we’ll all stop using it. Unless, of course, your friends also have it up.
   
2. When you delete intellectual property, we delete it the same way you delete files! Except we also keep backup copies. Only for a little while, though, and we won’t let anyone else use it. Pinky promise.

http://slacktory.com/2011/08/entire-...-in-bro-speak/

It is literally all 12000 pages of the Facebook TOS. And the scary thing is, I think it is pretty accurate.

Originally Posted by Sadistic-Savior

This is simply awesome. I wish all TOSs were written like this. I wish this forum's TOS was written like this.

http://slacktory.com/2011/08/entire-...-in-bro-speak/

This translation contains bad language and adult situations, and is rated PG-13. You have been warned.

A sample you say?



It is literally all 12000 pages of the Facebook TOS. And the scary thing is, I think it is pretty accurate.

lol. fun to read

Free Speech? Not on our watch. Hate speech, threats, porn? Nooope. What do you think this is, an ACLU rally? The First Amendment doesn’t apply in here, mother(*)(*)(*)(*)ers. So don’t be starting riots; we don’t want to see violence, and we don’t want to see your dick. (*)(*)(*)(*), we don’t even want to see tits. We’re that serious.

Granny got possum online tryin' to dump her Facebook shares...

Facebook: Smells Like Enron
6/08/12 --- In the world of investing, people tend to see only what they want to see, which can cause a world of pain. On this turf, "what you see is what you get" has never worked. "Due diligence" rules, as corporations have become highly skilled at pretending to be something they are not. One primary example being Enron, which not only brought increased scrutiny to corporate disclosures, but generated a new breed of investors filled with pessimism and mistrust toward Wall Street.

There continues to be a fallout surrounding the Facebook(FB_) IPO, where even Robert Greifeld, the CEO of Nasdaq, is offering up apologies and considering ways to repair damages to brokers who suffered losses, particularly due to Nasdaq's "technical problems," among other things. However, in typical Wall Street fashion, these same brokers insist that the financial terms that have been hinted upon are not enough to cover what has been estimated to be over $100 million in losses.

As Enron changed the world of auditing and corporate ethics, it seems Facebook will have a similar impact in the way investors view future IPOs. What's more, the company has created a much needed pessimism toward anything that is built up as "larger than life."

Enron brought about change to the extent of Sarbanes-Oxley; should there be a Facebook-Nasdaq act to require that future IPOs are examined with more scrutiny in an effort to avoid repeating this embarrassment? If we know anything about Wall Street, it is that it will find a way to screw things up again and will want someone else to clean up the mess. As we are now on the three-week anniversary of the IPO, the stock is down 31% from its $38 opening price.

However, while we are quick to question Facebook's current valuation and point fingers at who will pay for the disappointment, no one is looking into the most important question of all: How did underwriters justify a $38 opening price? How will investors be protected in the future, particularly those who spend hours on Facebook and believe wholeheartedly in "what you see is what you get?"

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