The 2012 Golf Season is On!

Discussion in 'Sports' started by arjay, Mar 25, 2012.

  1. gophangover

    gophangover Well-Known Member

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    Jesus and Moses were on the 175 yard par three over a lake. Jesus said, "Jack would use a seven iron" and pulls out his seven iron. Moses says, "You better use a five iron and make sure you get over the water." Jesus said," If jack can do it with a seven, so can I." Then hits his ball in the lake, then does it again. So He walks out on the water to get his balls back. A foursome comes up on the tee and sees Jesus on the lake and asks Moses, "Who does he think he is, Jesus Christ?" Moses says, "No, he thinks he's Jack Nicholas."
     
  2. gophangover

    gophangover Well-Known Member

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    Two ladies teed off on the first tee, a 350 yard par four. It took them six shots to get to the 150 yard marker. So a foursome of guys yelled at them to let them play through. But the ladies just kept playing and took another six shots to finish the hole. They teed off on the second hole and the same thing happened, it took them another six shots to get 200 yards down the fairway. So one of the guys got tired of waiting and teed up his ball and hit one of the women right in the head, knocked her out cold. A few minutes later she regained conscientiousness and went to the marshal, and told him that she got it with a golf ball. The marshal asked where it happened, and the woman said, "Between the first and second hole." The marshal said, "Your problem is, you're standing with your legs too far apart."
     
  3. Cigar

    Cigar Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Oldie but Goodie ...

    I'm leaving for Naples Florida next Wednesday for Golf and Relaxation ... not at the same time.
     
  4. raymondo

    raymondo Banned

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  5. gophangover

    gophangover Well-Known Member

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    C'mon man, really?
     
  6. gophangover

    gophangover Well-Known Member

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    Three ladies got done with their round of golf and the marshal asked them how they did. The first one said, "I did great, I had 20 riders." The second said, "Well I had 15 riders." The third lady said, "I sucked today, I only had seven riders." The marshal didn't want to reveal his ignorance of what a rider was, so he went and asked the course pro. The pro said, "That's when they hit the ball far enough to get in the cart and ride up to the ball for the next shot."
     
  7. Cigar

    Cigar Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    That's a Good one ... thanks
     
  8. gophangover

    gophangover Well-Known Member

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    A man and his wife were on the eighteenth tee, and the man duck hooked his drive into a window of a house. So they go up to the house and knock on the door to fess up and pay for the window. The guy that comes to the door is ecstatic! He claims that he's a genie and the golf ball freed him form his prison, a vase that was smashed and lying on the floor next to the broken window. He was so happy, he said he would grant them each a wish. The golfer says, "Yeah sure, ok, I'll take a million dollars." The genie says, "Poof you got it, it's in your bank account already. And what would you like maam?" She says, "I'd love one of these houses lining the course." The genie says, "Poof, you got it, the title is at your bank right now. And I feel so good, I'm gonna give myself a wish. I wish I had 30 minutes upstairs with your wife." The golfer says, "You can just forget it you nutjob." The wife says, "For a million dollars and a house on this course, I'll do it!" So a half an hour later the wife and the genie were laying back on the bed smoking a cigarette and the genie says, "Maam, how long have you believed in genies?"
     
  9. gophangover

    gophangover Well-Known Member

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    Dang, this getting old crap sucks. I'm gonna have to quit playing the pro tees and go up to the white tee boxes. I've lost 50 yards off my driving distance. Although a lot of the loss came from loss in elevation. The ball goes a lot farther at 5000 feet above sea level in Albuquerque than it does at 400 feet above sea level here in WV.
     
  10. arjay

    arjay New Member

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    A belated congrats to Bubba Watson for winning the Masters! That shot he made on the 2nd hole of the playoff was something else. A new lexicon in sports is born: "Bend it like Bubba!"
     
  11. Cigar

    Cigar Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I just got back from 5 days of Golf in Bonita Springs Palmira Golf Club and Naples Heritage Bay in Florida.

    Golf during the day, Masters in the evening and parting at night.
     
  12. Herkdriver

    Herkdriver New Member

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    Bubba Watson seems like a nice guy, I'm happy for him and his family for the Masters win. A genuinely appreciative guy...in contrast to the spoiled brat that Tiger Woods has become; throwing yet another tantrum on the course.
     
  13. gophangover

    gophangover Well-Known Member

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    Bubba has never had a lesson, never had a coach, never even checked his swing on video. Bet all those other pros are asking themselves if it was worth it spending all that money for those things. Tiger is probably seeing a therapist.
     

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