Does someone's weight affect your perception of them?

Discussion in 'Opinion POLLS' started by IgnoranceisBliss, Mar 16, 2012.

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Does someone's weight affect your perception of them?

  1. Yes, I think a person's weight is a reflection of them.

    35.4%
  2. Yes, I wish I didn't but I do unconsciously judge them.

    32.9%
  3. No, I wish they would take their health more seriously, but I don't judge them.

    22.0%
  4. No, weight is cosmetic and many overweight people simply can't help it..

    9.8%
  1. PatrickT

    PatrickT Well-Known Member

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    I had an elderly acquaintance who was lonely so I took him to a buffet, his choice, once a month. Every time we were there a cuople came in who were in oversized wheelchairs because they were too fat to walk. The buffet would assign staff to run food to the table for the two huge parents and their three fat little kids. The adults disgusted me but when I saw the kids following in mom an dad's wheel tracks I got angry.
     
  2. Leo2

    Leo2 Well-Known Member

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    I propose minding my own business, and having due concern for the feelings of others - that is not enabling anything. If you are so ill-bred as to force your unsolicited views upon upon people, and to embarrass them into conforming with your standards, that is your concern, and the misfortune of your acquaintances.
     
    fiddlerdave and (deleted member) like this.
  3. IgnoranceisBliss

    IgnoranceisBliss Well-Known Member

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    If you read my initial question I asked "does someone's weight affect your perception of them?" When I see significantly overweight people my perception of them is most certainly affected. There's a reason said person has chosen to be unhealthy (excepting the rare .001% with hormone issues). That reason is not a good reflection of that person and lowers them a bit in my mind. However, I would never say anything rude to an overweight person. I'm of the firm belief that you can do with your body as you chose and that it's no ones business to tell you that you're overweight. I'm just as polite to overweight people as skinny people, but their weight does lower my opinion of them, a bit. Weight is just one of dozens of criteria that we all use to judge a person. Being skinny (healthy) doesn't automatically make someone more reputable to me, it just means that they don't lose "points" in my mind for that particular criteria of judgement I have (and we all have). A rude, poorly dressed, or racist person would similarly suffer in my judgement; The latter suffering significantly more than any obese person could. I think we all have similar standards, often unconsciously, but just as influential.
     
  4. yguy

    yguy Well-Known Member

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    More accurately, you cater to their feelings at the expense of their personhood.

    You're kidding yourself.

    Those are hardly reasonable inferences from anything I've said.
     
  5. Leo2

    Leo2 Well-Known Member

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    I agree with all of that, and while I am not a fitness fanatic, when I see someone (especially someone my age) who is noticeably overweight, I tend to think "what a shame that he probably cannot enjoy some of the things I enjoy, because it would be too much effort," but I dwell on it no further. I know nothing of most people's upbringing and life circumstances, so I honestly make no moral judgments upon his/her character in respect of his/her shape. In fact, many fat kids, and older people, I have met seem to have developed much more pleasant personalities than those considered 'beautiful' by society.

    You have chosen to respond to a reply I gave to a poster who was berating me for not taking fat people to task for being overweight. And you have virtually agreed with my stance in writing "I would never say anything rude to an overweight person." This is something with which I entirely agree, and (a) I would have to know someone awfully well, and (b) he would have to ask my opinion on the matter, before I would comment upon any aspect of a person's appearance or dress. To approach someone and make unsolicited comments about someone's appearance, as Yguy has suggested I do, is, to me, ill-mannered and inconsiderate. We do not know how sensitive or otherwise people are about their appearance. Insecure kids have killed themselves over these things.
     
  6. Leo2

    Leo2 Well-Known Member

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    You are suggesting that, in the event of meeting a fat person, I should tell them that they are overweight, that this is undesirable, and that they should take steps to rectify the situation - am I correct in drawing this inference from your words? I would find such a course of action insensitive, ill-mannered, and socially unacceptable.

    If that is not what you meant to convey, kindly clarify the matter, so that we may engage in meaningful discussion. If, on the other hand, that is precisely what you wish to convey; I respectfully suggest there is no further point to this discussion, and thank you for your opinions thus far.
     
  7. IgnoranceisBliss

    IgnoranceisBliss Well-Known Member

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    I wasn't singling you out. I saw the debate had suddenly become "Loving fat people vs. Yelling at fat people" and wanted to steer it back towards the original point.
     
  8. yguy

    yguy Well-Known Member

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    I have not prescribed a course of action. I have merely observed that pretending to see nothing wrong with a obese person does him or her nothing but harm.
     
  9. momrobare

    momrobare New Member

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    As stated in the gastric bypass post...I had a gastric bypass in 2009! And though I'm ashamed to admit it ...when I see an obese person the first thing I think of is "There's a good candidate for gastric bypass surgery". I know how hard it is to lose a large amount of weight. I know how I felt when I was grossly obese! I know how it felt to walk into a store because you HAD to buy new clothes not because you wanted to and to walk over and see what kind of shapeless elephant clothes were the least horrible of the bunch! I cannot believe I ever let myself get this way and yet I'm not really sure how I got that way! I tried to watch what I ate but there came a time when I gave up and just ate. Never left the house due to agoraphobia and OCD! And I ate and ate and ate...until I was 237 pounds on a 5'1" small frame! And I hated myself! I tried diets. I joined weight watchers but couldn't afford the weekly payments on Social Security! I tried to exercise but thought I was having a heart attack and I couldn't breathe!

    So I know I shouldn't look at obese people as simply candidates for this life saving surgery but I do. I feel sorry for them and I want to go over and talk to them about gastric bypass surgery but I don't! Then I feel bad because I think maybe I should have done so!

    Sometimes I'm selfish and tell myself "hey people judged you for so long now it's your turn" but I feel horrible after I think that!

    All I know is that since I lost over 100 pounds people are nicer to ME! I went back to college at the age of 54 (I'm 55 now) and even the kids there are nice and kind to me! The teachers also. Nobody treats me like I'm on the edge of society!

    So I don't really know if I judge fat/obese people per se but I do know that I was judged and treated harshly because of my weight simply by the way I'm treated by society as a whole now that I weight 109 pounds!
     
  10. momrobare

    momrobare New Member

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    Most obese people do not need other people to tell them they're fat and they should lose weight. Almost all of them already know that and have heard it several times over. I would walk away if a stranger came up to me (which is why...in my previous post I said I don't approach other people). You don't really do anybody any good by pointing out the obvious and making them feel horrible.
     
  11. Leo2

    Leo2 Well-Known Member

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    Thank you, that was my main point. I have never been overweight (but I only recently turned 18, so there's lots of time for that to happen,) but I am a little on the skinny side. I would hate it if a stranger came up to me and said I was too thin and I should do something about it. As you quite rightly point out, everyone knows when they are over or under weight (like we all live in houses with mirrors) and we don't need someone to make us feel inadequate by unnecessarily drawing attention to the fact.
     
  12. CoolWalker

    CoolWalker New Member

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    Why does this fat crap keep staying near the top of Opinion Polls?
     
  13. fiddlerdave

    fiddlerdave Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    What is most sick and sad about such ignorant arrogance shown in this post is that The exact REVERSE is true of the hateful statement made that "they are in a wheelchair because they are so fat".

    And MANY of those conditions create LOTS of PAIN, so distraction is even more desired than it is for the avarage American who sits on their butt 10 hours a day watching TV with GOOD legs, spines, etc.

    When a physical problem confines people in a wheelchair, the lack of movement makes it virtually impossible to control weight, and often the physical problems that got them there make movement a problem anyway!

    Further, when you are confined like that surround with a--holes like this, what else is there to live for but a good meal? Are ya gonna live on 600 calories a day in order to keep sitting in a wheelchair another 5 years until the age of 45 instead of 4 to die of an embolism instead of a heart attack?

    I have come to the point where i hope people who think like this get to find out what it is like before they leave this world.
     
  14. fiddlerdave

    fiddlerdave Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I would say, sure, walk over to people you do not know and tell them about gastric bypass surgery, IF YOU OFFER TO PAY FOR IT FOR THEM! :lol:

    Otherwise, don't pass on the cruelty and evil done to you!

    You know, you could simply say "Hi! I hope you are having a good day!"
     
  15. stig42

    stig42 New Member

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    im fat and i don’t like looking at other fat people but i don’t avoid people who are fat and that doesn’t stop me from likening them if there otherwise nice then I don’t care so much

    on other hand some people are to skinny when the bones tart sticking out enough at some point i don’t like that any more either
     
  16. stig42

    stig42 New Member

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    people have opinions about it
     
  17. Professor Peabody

    Professor Peabody Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Way to go Subby! I maintained 5'11" 175 lbs for most of my adult life (53 now). Between having reduced kidney function Gout (Feet) and Peripheral Neuropathy of the feet I am 5' 11" 245 lbs. My limited capacity for exercise due to my feet and my failure to adjust my diet helped me hit 340 lbs. I changed my diet to almost exclusively vegetables and some fruits and lost 95 lbs. Unfortunately, even though I live on 1000 calories or less, I hit a wall that seemingly can only be broken by exercise.

    For those unfamiliar with Peripheral Neuropathy:

    I had lost 45 lbs when I went looking for a job. I had plenty of interviews. I always looked directly at the interviewers face the instant I walked in the door. Their facial expressions said it all. Once before I found the job I have now, I walked in and I could tell right away it was going to be a waste of time. So, I was blunt (I'm good at that). I said I can tell by the look on your face your put off by my weight. Since the job is for a computer network tech, I won't be dealing with your customers just your employees so one would think, you'd be judging me by my ability not my appearance. But you've obviously made up your mind before I shook your hand. So I'll save you the trouble.......Thanks for the interview, but I think I'll take my straight A's in school and go elsewhere. She followed me out to the lobby trying to explain all the way. I stopped and told her I'd rather drink water from a Dodger's Stadium toilet than waste my talent on folks like them.
     
  18. PatrickT

    PatrickT Well-Known Member

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    Fiddler, your ignorance is astounding. I have a huge relatively who will be in a wheelchair shortly. Her knees can't carry her around any longer. The doctors have said that new knees would be pointless is she didn't get down to a reasonable weight but she can't and it's her mother's fault.

    What mmazes me, Fiddler, are the fat enablers. You can understand them but I can't. Remember the woman who sat on her couch until her body and the couch fused? When they removed her the couch had to go with her and be surgically removed. Someone was feeding that woman while she sat and crapped on the couch. So, tell me, Fiddler, what's an enablers thought process? Oh, and Fiddler, if they're paying for their food, they can pay for gastric bypass surgery. Staying fat isn't cheap.
     
  19. GeneralZod

    GeneralZod New Member

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    I remember that story. The woman and the couch. She reached such a state of morbid obesity. She had 200lbs of fluids (urine) in her body.

    Hmm. Apparantly this is not that uncommon.

    Man who sat for 2 years dies on couch. "There, emergency medical workers were called to the home of a 43-year-old man who had sat in his recliner for so long — at least two years — that his skin had grown into the chair’s fabric. He had been using the bathroom in his pants and maggots were visible, according to a local TV station."

    And the most bizarre. NESS CITY, Kan. Deputies said a woman in western Kansas sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years, and they're investigating whether she was mistreated.
     
  20. signcutter

    signcutter New Member

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    Unless there is some kind of biological metabolic failure... being fat is a choice... just like being a smoker or a drug abuser. Fat by choice is not the path a logical healthy mind takes. Fat by choice points to lack of self control... personal apathy, self destructive behavior. Its 0ne out 100 times I see a fat person at the local 7-11 opt for an ozarka and a bag of almonds over a bearclaw and a 44 oz big gulp.

    Yep... 99% of the time I look at a fat person and think to myself that this person lacks in character.
     
  21. SigTurner

    SigTurner New Member

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    [video=youtube;XUSDg7NSODw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUSDg7NSODw[/video]
     
  22. CKW

    CKW Well-Known Member

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    I was a bit wrong on the poll. Normally I don't judge people because as a very thin, high metabolism person who has tried to put on weight with no success.....I know how hard it is to go against the urgings of the body that is saying "eat, eat eat" or "stop eating, no more, yuch".

    Most heavy people that I know eat moderately. Really! One girl I know who is quite chunky is a jogger.

    I DO get JUDGEMENTAL when I follow a fat family in a grocery store to find them toss soda, chips, sugar cereals...just basically a cart ful of snacking foods. And quite a few of these familys are on SNAP. It burns me.
     
  23. stig42

    stig42 New Member

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    i do lack self-control if offered a milk shake or better yet a molt im taking it if I have an opportunity to get one im getting one
    Except the time I got 2 from McDonalds back when they were big to see if I could drink them back to back

    The results were disputed
     
  24. Leo2

    Leo2 Well-Known Member

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    And 99% of the time you are being judgmental, without being in full possession of the facts. What do you think, 99% of the time you look at a skinny person?
     
  25. CoolWalker

    CoolWalker New Member

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    "Does someone's weight affect your perception of them?"

    Only if they're fat.
     

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