The real risk factors for sexual child abuse

Discussion in 'Political Opinions & Beliefs' started by saintmichaeldefendthem, Sep 16, 2011.

  1. saintmichaeldefendthem

    saintmichaeldefendthem New Member Past Donor

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    People get a false sense of security by knowing which people in their neighborhood are "registered predators" and have scant knowledge about the real factors that put children at risk. Here's a list of children who are more susceptible to predators than most other children.

    1. Children in abusive homes
    2. Children of divorce
    3. Children of parents on drugs or alcohol
    4. Children of parents who just don't pay attention
    5. Children who don't feel free to talk to their parents about anything that's bothering them.

    Sex predators are like any animal predator. They look for the animal that's shunned or a little apart from the herd. They look for the calf who strays because its mother is not paying attention. Parents who don't know who their children hang out with, where they are at any given time, or what issues they are struggling with are putting their children at risk. Children who don't find love at home will look for it in other places. Child molesters often fill emotional needs that aren't met at home. Also mothers who "shack up" with men they hardly know often unwittingly bring a sex predator in proximity to their children.

    The best way to understand how child molesters work is to get into their heads. This is a great article, a confession from a child molester and a disclosure of his tactics:

    While it must be stressed that any child can fall prey to these people, I have to conclude that, in most respects, the children at most risk of being sexually abused are children of parents who don't love them.
     
  2. JavaBlack

    JavaBlack New Member

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    More than that, children are most likely to be victims of sexual abuse if they are placed in the care of a child mollester. It's not usually the neighbor you never talk to who is the child mollester. It's the babysitter, the uncle, the trusted friend. That's actually why it happens so much with priests too.

    Teaching a child to be cautious around strangers will protect them against the guy down the street.
    It won't work if the trusted adult is the mollester... and, sadly, a lot of times nobody knows about it until it's too late.

    I think in those cases what's important, and I have no idea how this works, is to make sure the child has an open line of communication with his/her parents and that parents learn and watch for the signs of victimization. Because the fact is, if it does happen, you probably won't know until it's started.
     
  3. saintmichaeldefendthem

    saintmichaeldefendthem New Member Past Donor

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    Speaking statistically, priests aren't the most likely abusers. The scandal has done a disservice of making that problem seem bigger than it really was. But otherwise, I think you're on the right track.

    Also maintaining an open line of communication. Too many parents assume that their children know they can talk to them about anything, but it's a foolish assumption. Parents need to remind their children regularly that they can talk to them about anything that's bothering them. This has to be constantly reinforced.

    Which is why I concluded as I have that parents who don't love their children have children at risk for sexual victimization. All parents claim to love their children, but too many of them are liars and their actions bear that out. Parents who are on drugs or alcohol or are just simply too wrapped up in their own lives, I believe, actually love themselves and hate their children. It's a strong statement, but I believe it to be accurate.
     
  4. jmpet

    jmpet New Member

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    Kid touchers don't have a tattoo on their backs that reads "kid toucher", kid touchers can be almost anyone. Forget the bad upbringing- that is not a factor in the here and now.

    Sure you can classify them but you can't predict them. By some standards, Obama- raised by a single parent- could be a kid toucher. But he is not.

    Parents need to be more aware. And children need to be more expressive of feelings, especially with their parent(s). Psychophants abound, but most of them are stopped in their tracks with proper councelling and proper parenting.

    It's actually ironic that I say this considering last night I drove to town to buy a pack of smokes and saw four children from 4 to 8 years old literally sitting in the middle of the road at 9pm eating dinner with nary a parent around...
     
  5. JavaBlack

    JavaBlack New Member

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    A lot of people honestly love their children but are just incompetent.

    For instance, we both believe that an open line of communication is important.
    Authoritarian parenting discourages that. And yet many people defend authoritarian parenting style as being the best for children based on "common sense" and tradition.
    Likewise some permissive parents see themselves as busy trying to build a better life for the child and think the extra freedom will make them more self sufficient.
    And even authoritative parents... the problem there is that it's a difficult model to follow and people screw it up, often by honest mistake.
     
  6. saintmichaeldefendthem

    saintmichaeldefendthem New Member Past Donor

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    It's a point well made. Perhaps I see this all from a viewpoint of loving our children because I really do love my two boys and let them know regularly that they can come to their mother or me with anything that bothers them. Obtusely authoritarian parents who sequester independent thought and communication from their kids, I agree, put their kids at risk for child abuse because sex predators are all too willing to give these kids what they aren't getting from their parents, love and affirmation.

    It was painful to research the NAMBLA main website, but I needed to know how these people think. They call themselves "boy lovers" and they see their actions as "just wanting to love boys". Their victims are craving what they offer because they're not getting it at home.

    I'm fortifying my children with the best innoculation against child abuse. In our home, they are loved.
     
  7. JavaBlack

    JavaBlack New Member

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    The scary part is that at least some of them are probably genetically predisposed toward this behavior. They are seeking ways to do what is in their nature because society (rightly) denies them the right.

    I actually think pedophiles should be considered more like psychopaths. They are predisposed toward a behavior and once they cross the line are unlikely to stop. They can never live fully independently again. And yet, once their time is served, it doesn't seem right to punish them for what they are rather than what they did.

    It has ramifications for the argument about gay rights I suppose. I've long held that the true argument for gay rights has nothing to do with genetic predisposition and everythnig about the fact that their behavior harms no one.
    Pedophilia is different in that the behavior is equally tied to a strong human drive but can only be carried out in a manner that harms others. Thus the NAMBLA types. Suppressing those kinds of behaviors leads to insanity and criminal deviance.. but with some (psychopathic killers being an example more similar to pedophiles, due to the nature of their cravings) these behaviors MUST be suppressed.

    The problem is that deterrence through punishment will never be enough.
    Once the line is crossed, a pedophile must be institutionalized for life or subject to quasi-independence contingent on regular therapy and upkeep, possibly education... I'd go so far as to say they should agree to chemical castration as a prerequisite to release from an institution.
     
  8. saintmichaeldefendthem

    saintmichaeldefendthem New Member Past Donor

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    No I won't forget the bad upbringing because it IS a factor. You should research this further because the experts have established this connection conclusively. Children are at risk when their families don't protect them, that should be common sense.

    Being raised by a single parent is not in itself a risk factor if that parent is fully involved in that child's life.

    Children are more expressive of their feelings when parents encourage that expression. It all starts with the parents, I agree.

    I'd be more concerned if their parents didn't know where their children were.
     
  9. Black Monarch

    Black Monarch New Member

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    ??

    It looks like you're trying to combine "psychopath" and "sycophant" into a single, nonsensical word.
     
  10. saintmichaeldefendthem

    saintmichaeldefendthem New Member Past Donor

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    Jmpet is a leftist. I'm sure it makes sense to him in the way that toddler jibberish makes sense to toddlers.
     

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