Top 12 reasons why "Heaven" may be a pretty bad place

In the Bible, "God" and/or Jesus accepted all the following, have never spoken out in 2000 years against these, so arguably their "heaven" will ALSO accept all the following, making it a very nasty place to be:
1. Rape is approved of (approved of not once, not twice, but TEN times in the Bible: http://www.evilbible.com/Rape.htm ) Will you be one of the victims?
2. Slavery is approved of and is rampant (even Jesus accepted slavery) So will YOU be one of the slaves?
3. Gays will be slaughtered.
4. Women will be treated as 1/2 a man. You? Your mother?
5. There will be pure hatred of all non-Christians (your non-Christian family/friends are burning while you don't - live with that guilt will you?)
6. Innocent people will be murdered all around you (the bible is full of this.)
7. They'll be hatred of other ethnic groups (Jesus said he had only come to help the Israelites, and "god" hated other ethnic groups as well)
8. Inconsistencies (hundreds in the bible, and Jesus is too busy today to bother telling us the truth about these)
9. Killing and beating of children is approved of (just read the Bible!) YOUR children, perhaps?
10. Your marriage might be ARRANGED, or you'll be given to a conquering warrior.
11. No democracy in the Bible (so probably not in "heaven" probably)
12. Find the zillions of OTHER bad things in the Bible, and that's likely what "heaven" is like.

"Heaven" would be like living the barbaric life that people lived 2000 years ago, not like living in the modern world.
Me, I'll take my chances that of the 200,000+ belief systems of all time that this one particular one is not the true one. I like those odds....as a modern Secular Humanist, the odds are in my favor.

Question: what OTHER bad things might there possibly be in this Christian "heaven"?

 

will there be grapes?

how about young virgin boys who resemble girls?

 

I don't know. The thought of spending an eternity with the likes of Michelle Bachmann and Rick Santorum makes me want to go shopping for kevlar underpants.

 

Rivers of wine, to get smashed. It's a big pub in the sky.

Mohammad approved of rape of captives, and rape of slaves, and rape of conquered women (forced marriage - that's rape) so rape is likely in the Islamic "paradise" as well. 72 virgins get raped, and yes, those boys that are "like pearls" - they are "what your right hand possesses", so yes, you can likely rape them. I wouldn't want to be one of the 72 sex-slaves in paradise to, say, Danny Devito. I want no part of that sex-slave whore-house in the sky (Mohammad just promised all that to get men to rob caravans for him, since Qur'an 8:41 gives part of the booty they plunder to MOHAMMAD.) Mohammad was clearly a for-profit prophet.

 

Maybe you'll be one of Osama Bin Laden's 72 sex-slaves, and he gets to boink you at will......YUCK, I DO NOT WANT ANY PART OF THE ISLAMIC HEAVEN!....I'm too moral to be a part of rape.

 

Everything you state above is laughably false due primarily to Biblical ignorance...going to a website called evilbible to discuss Christianity is like going to stormfront to discuss African American culture.

 

Grapes? Take away the "G", and yes, plenty of that.

 

Let's just, for giggles, say the Bible did indeed approve of rape in 10 places, would you condemn the Bible for approving of rape, just say it hypothetically did, just for an example here? I would, because I'm a modern Secular Humanist. How about you, would you condemn, hypothetically, a book if it approved of RAPE in a whopping double-digit number of places? Your morality is being tested here, by the way.

- - - Updated - - -

So which BIBLE VERSES that that website quotes are made up, invented, faked? Hmmm? We await your answer.

- - - Updated - - -

So you deny that the Bible says to kill gays? I'm calling you out on this one.

 

I place extremists from all religions in the same personal hell...

And what is it with conservatives and their obsession with homosexuality?

 

Okay, please show me where it says (in Biblical scripture), that any of these things will happen or take place IN HEAVEN... Once you have proven to me that the Bible states that these things will take place IN HEAVEN I will continue to play your game.

 

The Christian texts and the Islamic texts both say to kill gays, and god is not wrong they believe, so until these religions are destroyed then 4.5% of humanity will always have a bulls-eye on their head. Let's let said destruction commence ASAP. Lives are at stake.

 

Actually, the bible is pretty darned VAGUE about what happens in that elitist place (like a racist/bigotted country-club it's Hindu/Jew/Muslim free). You just have to TRUST that barbarians who believed that it's ok to dash babies against rocks were telling the truth.
I put in the word "arguably", so I'm just saying that if they approve of all those 12 things in this world, AND THEY DO, then it would seem logical that arguably in the the next world they have those same things as well. I have as much "proof" that my idea is true as you do that it's not. Show us where it really really spells out exactly what "heaven" is like. You can't. They just made it all up, to get you to fear, that's why. The Bible 1.0 (OT) wasn't scary enough, so in The Bible 2.0 (NT) they invented new scary stuff to get people to toss their logic, reason, and common sense.

If the magic invisible country-club in the sky does, for argument's sake, indeed approve of slavery and killing gays and mistreating women, then are you moral enough to condemn "heaven"? I would, because I'm a moral modern Secular Humanist who loves humanity and believes in fairness and basic equality. We await your reply.

 

You do admit that at least a majority of the 12 points are true about the Bible, in this world, correct? If not which ones specifically do you disagree with? (I'll show you where you're wrong, by the way, if you refute them.)

 

You think literature is like reading applied hydraulics........ There are NO sex slaves or 72 virgins in the Koran.

 

Do you condemn those Muslims who insanely think that there are 72 virgins for a man in paradise, then?

 

Then do you, or do you not, advocate that Muslims ELIMINATE THESE FROM THEIR TEXTS? Please just answer the question.

Abu Umama narrated: "The Messenger of God said, 'Everyone that God admits into paradise will be married to 72 wives; two of them are houris and seventy of his inheritance of the [female] dwellers of hell. All of them will have libidinous sex organs and he will have an ever-erect penis.' "
Sunan Ibn Majah, Zuhd (Book of Abstinence) 39

It was mentioned by Daraj Ibn Abi Hatim, that Abu al-Haytham 'Adullah Ibn Wahb narrated from Abu Sa'id al-Khudhri, who heard the Prophet Muhammad PBUH saying, 'The smallest reward for the people of Heaven is an abode where there are eighty thousand servants and seventy-two houri, over which stands a dome decorated with pearls, aquamarine and ruby, as wide as the distance from al-Jabiyyah to San'a.
Al-Tirmidhi, Vol. 4, Ch. 21, No. 2687

Each time we sleep with a Houri we find her virgin. Besides, the penis of the Elected never softens. The erection is eternal; the sensation that you feel each time you make love is utterly delicious and out of this world and were you to experience it in this world you would faint. Each chosen one [i.e. Muslim] will marry seventy [sic] houris, besides the women he married on earth, and all will have appetizing vaginas.
Al-Itqan fi Ulum al-Qur'an, p. 351

Anas said, Allah be well-pleased with him: The Messenger of Allah said, upon him blessings and peace: “The servant in Paradise shall be married with seventy wives.” Someone said, “Messenger of Allah, can he bear it?” He said: “He will be given strength for a hundred.” From Zayd ibn Arqam, Allah be well-pleased with him, when an incredulous Jew or Christian asked the Prophet, upon him blessings and peace, “Are you claiming that a man will eat and drink in Paradise??” He replied: “Yes, by the One in Whose hand is my soul, and each of them will be given the strength of a hundred men in his eating, drinking, coitus, and pleasure.”

Sifat al-Janna, al-`Uqayli in the Du`afa’, and Musnad of Abu Bakr al-Bazzar
This [Qur'an 78:33] means round breasts. They meant by this that the breasts of these girls will be fully rounded and not sagging, because they will be virgins, equal in age.
Tafsir Ibn Kathir, Abridged, Volume 10 Surat At-Tagabun to the end of the Qur'an, 333-334

From http://wikiislam.net/wiki/72_Virgins

 

You seem to be the one who believes such crap. I suggest that you learn your subject before you go off on such wild rants.

 

No offense, as I respect your kindness and sincerity on this forum, but you clearly can't make tough moral decisions. Clearly you can't condemn insane beliefs such as getting a bunch of sex-slaves (which is unethical of course). As a modern Secular Humanist I can. You would do well to change your overall belief system to MSH....that way you can condemn unethical behavior instead of, defacto, empowering it by your constantly running interference for it.

Insane beliefs, such as "I get 72 virgins if I kill non-believers in Jihad", or "a talking dead guy listens to my silent prayers and magically helps me out - when he's not busy creating acts of god such as earthquakes that kill thousands", are very dangerous to the world.

 

I asked a Believer in college once "What will everybody DO in Heaven for all eternity?"

She said "Sing praises to God".

And I said "For trillions and trillions and trillions of YEARS?"

Flustered, she said "Well, uh, God will give us other work to do, too."

And I said "Like what?"

And she went with the old dodge "Well, we'll find out when we get there...but I know it will be a great place."

The "Hell" of Heaven wouldn't be the barbarism of the Bible....it would be BOREDOM. Our minds (or "souls") are finite, else we would "be God".

Okay, what is INFINITY divided by the FINITE? Think about it...think of everything you could possibly do, even the fun or joyful stuff....

and STILL trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions of YEARS...lay ahead of you.

 

Like what? Filing. Paperwork mostly. Probably for minimum wage. That sort of thing.

 

From now on your Sith name will be Gorn The Wise.

Good post, as always.

 

Harp repair, too. Dont forget all them harps that will need repairs.

 

Why not, instead, just advocate that they remove those from their Islamic teachings, like I do?

 

It also says the virgins will be 88 feet tall..

Do you know what erotic literature is?

 

3.8%... so not as bad as your made up figures