So... my wife's a dirty whore and I work out now...

Discussion in 'Sports' started by Ctrl, Apr 16, 2014.

  1. Ctrl

    Ctrl Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    ... but I have no idea what I am doing.

    When I caught her (*)(*)(*)(*)ing the worthless Dish installer, I went through a range of emotional responses, but for the sake of my kids made the conscious decision that rather than fall into a bottle or 200 of self-pity, that I would focus all of this energy into positive things... and I started running.

    I hate running. I hate running like nothing else on this earth. I always have. I would rather be food than run any distance. So this is where it began... in that range of reactions as my world cascaded down around me... I decided that this was my fault, and to punish myself, I began running. This was my Sisyphus model. The hell of fruitless labor, pushing that boulder up the mountain only to fetch it on the other side and do it again for eternity. It also seemed like a good idea for a number of other reasons. I was fat. I was unhealthy. I smoked, I drank, and the most exercise I got was punching these keys and occasionally walking to the car. I am also an insomniac. Rage, sorrow, and insomnia are a (*)(*)(*)(*)ty mix. Running cleared my head and made me tired. It also caused a paradigm shift in my thinking. I am a brilliant procrastinator. I don't just mean that I do it a lot, I mean that I am (*)(*)(*)(*)ing brilliant at it. I can convince you to convince me not to do what you want me to do today. I began bouncing the world against one question, and one statement of fact. "Is doing X in the best interests of my kids?" and "Well... it ain't running." Things I didn't want to do became immediately easy to accomplish when contrasted against running. Murdering people dissolved from fantasy as the real impact on the kids was measured. Oddly, as complicated as my life was becoming... the simpler it became with these simple measuring sticks. I am rambling a bit... sorry...

    Running lead to stretching. Stretching lead to doing push-ups. Push-ups lead to jumping rope. Jumping rope lead to dumbbells. Now, going from a completely unhealthy sedentary lifestyle, to crushing it 7 days a week (you can see it coming right?) I injured myself.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patellar_tendinitis

    This sucked. I couldn't do ANYTHING strenuous on my tendons that connect my leg stuffs together while they healed. I joined the Y. (This is a small town Y and the staff are useless. They also revoke membership for "coaching" other members.) The elliptical requires too great a range of motion of those tendons. The row machine. Treadmill, could not do. All I could do was the reclined stationary bike for the legs, and upper body. It has been a couple of months, and am about to ease back into doing things which involve my legs other than cycling.

    I dick around on the machines and with barbell... but as I said... I really have no idea what I am doing. I have never worked out a day in my life prior to this change... and don't really know how to put together a decent routine.

    In the meantime (3 months and a new house later):
    I have changed just about everything about how I eat. I probably don't get enough calories in a day, but I gets mah proteins and vitas.
    I dropped 50 pounds.
    I have a decent looking physique now... but I needs more mass... more strength. I hear the term "core" a lot... I dunno what it means really.
    I found abs under all that mess... which was neat.
    Quitting the Y and getting more gear. I will be picking up a bench this week.

    So this is what I do.
    Cycle for an hour or more at 100rpm.
    Plank (1 min ea), ab roll (10 ea) straight, plank, roll left, plank, roll right, plank
    Hammer curls (32lbs) 10-15
    Concentration curls (25lbs) 10-15
    I dunno what it is called when you bend over and pull dumbbell straight up from the ground, but I do that 10-15 times with 50lbs
    I dunno what it is called when you put the weight behind your head and straighten your arm over your head, but I do that 10-15 times with 25lbs.

    At this point I hurt and I dick around for about 5 minutes and do all the dumbbell stuff again. I have a tendency to just sort of do these things throughout the day when I am bored or angry.

    So... any advice? (on working out... not my whore of a wife)
     
  2. CKW

    CKW Well-Known Member

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    Be consistant--and as you probably know by now--you begin to be a bit obssessed because you need it. I used to jog for mental health and to prove I didn't have emphasema (as I was a heavy smoker). The brain...especially when under stress--needs a work out. Releases all those important endorphins. Just take it easy and do lots of stretches. I admire you!!! I do need to get back into the "groove" as my brain is in a mess of stress of late.
     
  3. Jarlaxle

    Jarlaxle Banned

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    For starters:
    Have yourself checked for STDs.
    Get a lawyer.
    Clean out all bank accounts & cut up all joint credit cards.
    Have all children (if any) checked for paternity.
     
  4. Glock

    Glock Well-Known Member

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    exactly, first things first.
     
  5. Gatewood

    Gatewood Well-Known Member

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    Okay; I'm writing this as a lifetime athlete who will never ever look like an athlete -- unless a barrel looks athletic. It's my body type and my metabolism and -- now -- my age; and so I live with those realities and then I ignore them. Now for the important stuff.

    If your small town has a library then use it to read up on weight lifting. If not then start doing book searches for all around good workout books and then use ABE Books to purchase used copies. That's where you luck out with weight lifting. Books thirty years old with black and white photographs are just as good, just as useful, and just as safety conscious as books hot off the press in 2014. You should be able to start a frigging library of essential references for less than a hundred dollars total . . . waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay less. Why is this important? Because there are very few athletic endeavors more likely to tear up your body parts than weight lifting done incorrectly. Conversely there are no other athletic endeavors capable of making all your body parts as strong as possible. So workout with your brain as much as with your body.

    Next . . . slooooooooooooow things down. You can and you should exhaust your targeted muscle groups by moving the same weights you are using now, but at a slower pace. Do not use momentum or impetus to get the weight up and always fight the weight every inch of the way down. Make your muscles work for the burn and there should be a burn . . . or rather you should feel as if someone has stuffed your affected muscle groups with hot clay. You should actually feel as if something slightly alien is just under your skin . . . and so we are not really talking about pain as much as happy discomfort (it's a weight lifting thing). So slow down your reps while using the same amount of weight and make every movement from beginning to end happen at the same even pace. Try that until it becomes a habit and then once it has become so then increase the weight.

    All of the above about going slow? Occasionally set that aside and c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y change your pacing. It's a variation of the muscle confusion principle. The thing is that you do not want to become too comfortable with any one routine or way of doing things with the exception of the good, slow, and steady weight lifting principle, which should be what you always come back to as the fail-safe technique.

    Think safety, safety, safety. Along those lines use a weight lifting belt. It's not for show and its not something that you have to be lifting enormous weights before using. If nothing else wearing a belt helps remind you that you damn well are doing something that can injure you if you get cocky with it or absent minded. Along these lines it's always a good idea to warm up before weight lifting with the treadmill or stationary bicycle. Consider cooling down after a weight lifting session with a stretching routine.

    Keep a workout journal and USE it. Keep track of your weights and routines and establish practical and sane goals. That's about it, really . . . but read, read, read and become your own trainer.
     
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  6. Ctrl

    Ctrl Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Wow... precisely what I was looking for. I had accidentally collected some of this understanding by osmosis, around conversations I had no interest in that somehow stuck... like muscle confusion. Really appreciate the time you took to write that down for me. A journal. Brilliant. Would never have occurred. I had some memory from high school not to use momentum, and to do everything slow... so I have been. Everything you said just makes a ton of sense, and I am glad I have fought the urge to make some pretty bad habits.

    To the library I shall go... and a new journal... the one I have is stuffed with my wifes incompetence as it relates to our children daily. Thanks again so much. I might bug you with some questions at some point.
     
  7. Gatewood

    Gatewood Well-Known Member

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    You are welcome. But once you begin doing some serious reading on the subject you should be perfectly capable of putting together routines and distinguishing good advice from bad advice with your knowledge of your own body type and physical quirks. You've already demonstrated the necessary will-power and self-discipline. All you are lacking at this point is sufficient knowledge . . . and that's easily curable. :thumbsup:
     
  8. Defender of Freedom

    Defender of Freedom Member

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    It is good you turned your rage into something constructive. I've been through the same thing, though I am young, I know the pain. keep it up, stay on it and a better life awaits you. God bless.
     
  9. Ernie_McCracken

    Ernie_McCracken Banned at Members Request

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  10. kronikcope

    kronikcope Active Member

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    I could give you a world of advice on working out and getting into shape if you gave me an idea on what your physical goals are. My wife and I both run a few marathons every year, and I do a great deal of rock climbing. Sorry about of whore wife btw.
     
  11. Ctrl

    Ctrl Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Gay underwear model.
    I have figured out that abs aren't made in the gym, but the kitchen. Cycle hard for an hour and you burn about the equivalent of half a bagel. Once I figured out that it is just math, calories in vs calories out... that side of things got a lot easier. So... I guess I am shooting for about 12% body fat and more mass/strength. I don't feel very strong. I look pretty good, but I don't think I could bench my own weight... so I need to eat bigger and work harder I think. I don't know about all the whey products, and big barrels of muscle powder. Seems like more marketing than science, but that is just my impression. I am not doing any enhancement stuff. Working hard is part of the "thing" I am into atm.

    I need more equipment it would seem.
     
  12. Bluespade

    Bluespade Banned

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    Id cancel the cable first. Change your routine up, because I found out when lifting it's pretty easy ro plateau.
     
  13. kronikcope

    kronikcope Active Member

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    I can send you a couple workout routines I used to do, rotating between upper, lower, and cardio. The cardio can be a little brutal for beginners, so take it at your own pace. Honestly, anymore I don't spend much time in the gym. Between climbing and running, I don't need to.

    Ever thought about taking BJJ or something like that? Grappling burns a ton of calories, you'll gain strength and stamina, and you learn a valuable skill in the process. Something to think about.

    You'll have to be patient, it's going to take a few getting these workout routines together.
     
  14. Herkdriver

    Herkdriver New Member

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    How'd I miss this thread? Your wife slept with the "cable guy." Sounds like the plot of a romance novel, but usually those sort of things stay in the realm of fantasy.

    Exercise is a good idea, it will increase your levels of serotonin in your brain, which lifts your mood. My sincere condolences for this. I've always found \the best revenge is forgetting. Obviously this level of betrayal is going to take some time to absorb, and as she is also the mother of your children it's not something you can just walk away from without looking back. Exercising is a very positive coping mechanism, so no matter the specifics, even if it's just a walk around town...you're on the right path to healing.
     
  15. Ctrl

    Ctrl Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    He wasn't our "cable guy" he just IS a "cable guy". He was one of HER customers. Evidently been coming around for about a year checking on the status of her marriage. At some point brought his 11 yr old daughter in to "approve" of her to date her dad, and he had her pass my wife his number.

    Nothing says classy like pimping out your daughter to pick up the married bartender.

    Trash. All around. She sticks my kids in this dudes arms. It is work out, or shoot people... so... like I said. I work out a lot.
     
  16. yguy

    yguy Well-Known Member

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    Anyone who can do this will find it child's play to turn sewage into champagne.
     
  17. Herkdriver

    Herkdriver New Member

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    As Robert DeNiro once said in the movie "Heat."

    "Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner. Now, if you're on me and you gotta move when I move, how do you expect to keep a... a marriage?"

    People look for the only thing that can really anchor anyone to a time and place: another person. They think another person in their life is all they need to be fulfilled, complete...at peace.

    A major fallacy.

    Your wife, in some respects, gave you a gift. Your freedom.
    Don't squander it by making the mistake that so many do...that happiness can only be found through another person.
     
  18. namvet

    namvet New Member

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    also if she leaves change the locks on the doors. under law your entitled to protect the property
     
  19. wyly

    wyly Well-Known Member

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    pretty much agree with what gatewood said...I coached athletes for 25 yrs and training is can be very sport specific, training as runner doesn't really work if you're training as a bodybuilder...a soccer body is different from a swimmers, a footballers as an ice hockey players...so if you have a sport you're keen on you may want to focus on what's good for that sport...
    find a training buddy or two or three, social interaction helps spur you on and keep interest up, it's also a good source of info...when doing weight training I generally preferred machines for heavy weights, they allowed you to focus on muscle groups with less chance of injury...and I found negative reps very useful for strength increase, I'd do a arm curl in 2 or 3 seconds up and return to start in 8-12 seconds, but that was me you may find something that works better and you should vary technique...and as a gatewood recommends keep a journal it's invaluable to track progress and keep interest up and gauge when it's time to alter your routine, it works for weight loss as well...

    as for the wife there are 3.5 billion more to choose from...and the fit ones you can meet at the gym or sports clubs are a bonus...
     
  20. wyly

    wyly Well-Known Member

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    good for you, the biggest scam out there is telling people they need this piece of equipment or that to lose weight...abs are created by what you eat, or by what you don't eat...my sisters thought they could lose weight by walking an hour a day, well that was good for their heart and lungs but it was doing bugger all for their weight issue, the 300 cals they would burn could be put back with one big chocolate chip cookie...how training helps you lose weight is with the time spent away from sitting and eating, if you're active going too the gym and back that will take 2-3 hrs, that's 2-3 hrs you're not sitting or being tempted to eat...
     
  21. Herkdriver

    Herkdriver New Member

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    The OP states he smoked, drank and was overweight.

    I don't know his age, but personally I'd consult with a physician prior to starting an exercise routine. Get a baseline general physical from an M.D.
     
  22. Unifier

    Unifier New Member

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    Get on a steady routine. I'm on a four day cycle. Push, pull, legs, and rest. Push day consists of chest, triceps, and delts. Pull day consists of back and biceps. Leg day is, well, leg day (and recently core as well). And then every fourth day is an off day. You need a rest day.

    My routine currently looks something like this:

    Day 1

    Bench press - 3-5 sets (8-12 reps or until failure)
    Incline bench - 3-5 sets (8-12 reps or until failure)
    Dumbbell press - 3-5 sets (8-12 reps or until failure)
    Incline dumbbell press - 3-5 sets (8-12 reps or until failure)
    Fly - 6 sets (8-12 reps or until failure)
    Tricep Dips - 4-5 sets (8-12 reps or until failure)
    Overhead Press - 4-5 sets (8-12 reps or until failure)
    Skull crushers - 3-4 sets (8-12 reps or until failure)


    Day 2

    Dumbbell curls - 6 sets (8-12 reps or until failure)
    Lat pulldown - 3-4 sets (8-12 reps or until failure)
    Seated row - 3-4 sets (8-12 reps or until failure)
    Rear delt / Reverse fly - 4-5 sets (8-12 reps or until failure)

    And then some other thing I don't know what the hell it's called that works my traps. And another one that works my delts.


    Day 3

    Leg press - 3 sets (8-12 reps or until failure)
    Leg (hamstring) curls - 3 sets (8-12 reps or until failure)
    Calf raises - 3-4 sets (8-12 reps or until failure)
    Hip abduction - 3 sets (8-12 reps or until failure)
    Hip adduction - 3 sets (8-12 reps or until failure)
    Lower back extension - 3 sets (8-12 reps or until failure)
    Torso rotation - 3-4 sets on either side (8-12 reps or until failure)
    Incline ab curls - 3 sets (until failure)
    Leg raises (lower abs) - 3-4 sets (until failure)

    Then I'll add cardio in there wherever I can. It varies from week to week. Usually either the eliptical or jumping rope. I also drink post-workout whey protein shakes. Although there are mixed opinions as to whether they are actually beneficial. Personally, it might be a placebo effect, but I seem to have gotten bigger quicker since I've been drinking them.

    There are also a lot of good sources for workout information on youtube if you want more professional type advice. Mike Chang, who runs Sixpack Shortcuts, is probably my favorite.

    http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCH9ciCUcWavMsFcAJtLUSyw


    There's another guy named Kali Muscle you might want to check out. He basically spent six years in prison doing nothing but lifting weights, figuring it out on his own. When he got out, he turned his life around and now he's a fitness coach.

    http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCg_tz2iw7_-gf2xIL-DdM2g


    And another guy that I think might help you a lot right now is a guy named Elliott Hulse. He not only deals with fitness and working out but also with life lessons in general. His videos are a treasure trove of wisdom that you're not going to find in many places in mainstream society. In addition to helping you get ripped, he can also help explain why your wife did what she did and how you can prevent such things from happening in the future. He's very insightful.

    http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLrI-dOLyDbRnPyUeWadsOg

    http://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0ASolYU_Yh3yShLFQC0stg


    Hope this helped. Best of luck, man.
     
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  23. Ethereal

    Ethereal Well-Known Member

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    Yes, you need to work out a lot less. Seven days a week is way too much, and once you work out more than forty five minutes at a time (unless you're a top athlete), you're getting diminishing returns and increasing the chances of an injury. You should work out only four days a week max (Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday) and the rest of the days should be low intensity (light jogging and stretching, fifteen to twenty minutes); also, decrease the duration of your workout to around forty-five minutes a session. If you are injured, you need to stay off the injury until you can do light work with no pain; swimming is your best option when recovering from an injury.

    Sorry about your wife. Just roll with the punches and do right by your kids. The pain will pass in time.
     
  24. wyly

    wyly Well-Known Member

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    I worked out 1-2 hrs everyday except activity/game day instead of rest day...I'm familiar with the advice claiming this was wrong but I never suffered any adverse effects, and I went from strength to strength...probably not advisable for everyone but it worked for me...

    injuries-I worked those areas too, starting rehabilitation immediately with as much resistance as I could endure, my physio insisted on it ...
     
  25. Ethereal

    Ethereal Well-Known Member

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    It's okay if you are an experienced athlete with a support network.

    Yes, you don't want the injured tissue to atrophy from lack of blood flow, but you should never put pressure or tension on an injury if there is pain, which is different than discomfort.
     

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