50 Future Obama Conspiracies From the Obama Derangement Syndromers-

1. He shot the Sheriff...and he shot the Deputy too.

2. He blew up the Space Shuttle Challenger (Michelle sabotaged the Columbia).

3. He never drinks....wine.

4. He is so mean, he once shot a man just for snoring.

5. He killed Frank Poole, and wouldn't open the pod bay doors for Dave Bowman.

6. He likes cats.

7. He puts ketchup on hot dogs.

8. A census taker once tried to test him, Obama ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Kee-anti!

9. He and his three droogs, like to sit in the Korova Milkbar making up their rassoodocks what to do with the evening.

10. He shot Vince Foster.

11. He drinks Foster's (not a good, honest American beer, dammit!)

12. He got Jar Jar Binks to give him emergency powers in the Galactic Senate.

13. He bombed Pearl Harbor.

14. He killed Moe Green, Tatagglia, Barzini, the heads of all the Five Families.

15. He smells like soup.

16. He once yelled at a blind man! (Okay, okay, he yelled "Look out there, friend"...but who cares. He still yelled at him!)

17. He took the $8000 Uncle Billy forgot and sent the bank examiners after George Bailey.

18. His ears are funny.

19. His name sounds funny.

20. He's going to leave you, as you left him...as you left her. Trapped for all eternity on a dead world...buried alive...buried alive!!!

21. His soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of rubbish imaginable mangled up.... in tangled up knottttttts!

22. He once shot a man in Reno...just to watch him die.

23. He'd steal a dead fly from a blind spider.

24. He cut off Gwyneth Paltrow's head and delievered it to Brad Pitt in the desert by UPS.

25. He applied for a job as a prison warden so he could put tacks in the electric chair.

26. He keeps trying to get Henry Blake replaced as commander of the 4077th, so he and Margaret can take over.

27. He takes sparrows, dips them in peroxide, and sells them as canaries.

28. He keeps preventing the re-opening of Camp Crystal Lake.

29. He campaigned for a dry county, got it passed, and then moved away.

30. He tempts Edmund with Turkish delight candies.

31. He killed Bambi's mother.

32. He sank the S.S. Minnow.

33. He tried to kill the Baudelaire orphans.

34. He tried to arrest Victor and Ilsa at the Casablanca airport.

35. He a very bad man, Jerry Seinfeld, a VERY bad man!

36. Obama told Janet Leigh in the hotel lobby that a boy's best friend is his mother.

37. (we learn Obama speaks Latin) Seems our Barack is an educated man....now I KNOW I hate him!

38. He became Margo Channing's understudy.

39. He ordered the gorillas to blow up Cornelius' cave excavation.

40. He tortured Morpheus to get the codes for the mainframe of Zion.

41. He gave Snow White a poisoned apple.

42. He boiled Michael Douglas' rabbit alive.

43. Obama's a 20 footer.....25...three tons of him!

44. He attacked Scarlett in the shantytown outside Atlanta.

45. He used ED-209 to try to kill Robo-cop.

#46. Obama keeps telling Luke to dig his dirt out of Boss Rahm's hole.

#47. Obama plans on marrying Mary Contrary and leading the Bogeymen against Toyland!

#48. Obama and Marv plan on breaking into Kevin's house on Christmas night.

#49. He'll convince Freder that the robot is Maria, while he imprisons the real Maria.

#50. Obama plans on killing Sheriff Bart and snatching the land around Rock Ridge. (Truly ironic)

 

51. He made Steve Gutenberg a star!

52. He was the toddler on the Grassy knoll

53. He may actually have black ancestry.

54. he killed Vince Foster and hypnotised Hillary into thinking she did it and is now blackmailing her.

55. He was responsible for whitewater. Hell it had white in the title, so he would have had to hate it!

56. He changed the scripts of the 3 star wars prequel movies to make George Lucas seem like a fat gibbering talentless hack. Lucas is still God!!

57. He writes the scripts for Whale Wars.

58. He had a sex change to a woman, married Michelle and then they both had a sex change back (sorry some people actually believe this one...

59. Without his influence World Peace would have broken out a couple of days earlier.

60. His name is an anagram of Baa Bark Coma. What, do I have to spell it out for you??

 

BTW, I wrote that in 2009....in anticipation of Obama Derangement Syndrome.

 

LOL. It was brilliant!

 

Thank you...some are just jokes...others naturally are movie references (a few a bit obscure...see if you can spot them).

 

You probably got it from the previous 8 years of Bush derangement syndrome...

 

If you like......TODAY there are Far Righties talking about Obama "causing riots or another terrorist attack, so he can declare martial law, cancel the 2016 election, and make himself President-For-Life".....

same as there were Far LEFTIES who said the same thing about Bush.

And you know what? I laughed....and laugh....at BOTH of them. Do you?

 

Silly.

 

# 2 ....Part B....is your favorite, isn't it, SMW?

 

No, but I admire you for laughing instead of crying. It's always a good idea to mask tears with humor... even if it's BAD humor.

 

Hahahahahaha! Hilarious!

 

SMW, you DO realize....10-20-30 years from now...your Obama hatred won't just fade away. Especially for Mrs. Obama?

- - - Updated - - -

Ironically, my list is just "a smidge" over the kinds of ACTUAL Obama conspiracy theories the ODS Crowd dream up.

Seriously how can you parody people who think SIMULTANEOUSLY that Obama is both a "radical Christian" AND a "Muslim" AND an "atheist"?

 

You're right about that, GC. The Obama's will go down in history as jokes.

Nobody will remember Michelle's boobbelts, but they'll laugh about her school lunch fiasco.

 

No, I'm right about you NOT being able to just "let it go" on noon on January 20th, 2017....or 2018....or 2019....or 2020....or 2025.....or 2030.

The fact that "somebody like" Barack Obama was President of "your" country....and "somebody like" Michelle Obama was First Lady....will eat at you forever.

With one possible exception....do know what that might be?

 

Don't worry about me, dear. It's our country that will never recover... I'll be fine.

 

"never recover"? You almost came clean, SMW. From now on, this country will no longer be "whites only rule", will it?

In fact, even your beloved Republican Party is now trying to find a Latino candidate to be Prez or Veep. And in 20 years, they might even nominate a Black candidate.

BTW, my "exception"....will be when there is another black President. Then you'll re-focus your Obama hatred...on them....and the next black First Lady.

 

somehow,I doubt that...you're too partisan

 

Yeah check out how much they hate Obama for



I'm sure that Lonestar and americanfistwoman were screaming their head off and that Presidents unamericanness and Fox and all the media were all over those scandals...

Oh yeah they were saying he was being truly American.

Admit it, people had an involuntary shudder when they saw his face before they repressed it and slammed their all American outlook in place again.

 

Wrong....it was over at Slate Magazine.....Far FAR Left guy kept declaring, right upto Obama being inauguarted that "Bush is going to stage another 9/11 and declare martial law"...

and I laughed at him (Which got me a prompt assignment to the "CIA-controlled Fake Progressives" Club from him).

YOU on the other hand...won't criticize any of your RW buddies who talk about "Obama going to cancel the 2016 election and make himself President-for-Life".....100% guaranteed.

 

You forgot a few.
1. Lied about Obama care not being a tax.
2. Lied about keeping your own doctor.
3. Lied about innocent death toll use of drones.
4. Lied about all bills on his desk for five days.
5. Lied about Obama care being on cspan.
6. Lied about shovel ready jobs.
7. Lied about going after Wall Street
8. Lied about the IRS two lone agents.
9. Lied about it being only in the Cincinnati office.
10. Lied about raising taxes on anyone making under $250,000.
11. Lied about no one will be exempt from Obama care. Gave unions a free pass.
12. Lied about hiring lobbyist. Hired more lobbyist than any other.
13. Lied about cutting the deficit by half the first four years.
14. Lied about the NSA spying on Americans.
15. Lied about signing the NDAA.
Etc.
I'm sure the right wing will be bringing these conspiracies up too

 

And I'm sure he is going to comment on his patriotic brothers and sisters's outrage at leftists taking abourt every instance of Bush the lessers life story and accusing him of not even being born in America, to the extent of filling 260 lawsuits to prove that Bush the Lesser's BC was a forgery, and that he was ineligible for the presidency. And all those "birther bills" that were pushed by the Democrats.

Oh hang on, no "far leftists" did that. Nor were such bills proposed by the Democrats. (Though I'm sure people will start screaming about Arnold Schwarzenegger in a sec)

In fact the only one that lied about Bush the lesser's birthplace was the man himself, by letting everyone think he was born in Texas when in fact he was born in Cincinnati. Not that Cincinnati was exactly advertising the fact...

 

The Right gets into a form of pure hypocrisy on Birtherism, like you've never seen.

One RW here at PF is a staunch Birther.....but he attacked Hillary Clinton for "starting it"?

Yes...you read that right. Though he believers in Birtherism....he also criticizes HRC for supposedly being the one who raised it in the 2008 Democratic primaries.

And then there are the Birther Apologists on the Right who say things like "Well, I PERSONALLY believe Obama is a citizen...but there are still lots of questions." or who (again) do the "Hillary started Birtherism"....but ignore that something like HALF of Republicans believe in it and the charge on Birtherism was (and is) led by Republicans like Donald Trump and Sheriff Joe Arpaio.

So WHEN (not "if") it comes time for the Right to start developing their "Obama is going to declare martial law and make himself President-for-Life"....they'll fall into the same categories-

1. True Believers who'll actually believe that (but oddly not prepare to escape the US or start up some "revolt").

2. The Apologists for the True Believers (who don't want to p*ss off their TB friends) who'll say "Well, it MAY not go that far....but Obama certainly is exceeding his Constitutional authority now"

BTW, Group #1 atleast is honest and courageous in their beliefs.....Group #2 are cowards.

 

Slight correction to a previous Post. George W Bush was actually born in New Haven, Connecticut.

I'm sure the Birthers were asking whether there was a monument to the birthplace of the President in New Haven during his terms of office. I don't actually know if there is or not, but I think its a fair bet that the answer is NO.

 

'During the Democratic Party's 2008 presidential primaries, anonymous e-mails from supporters of Hillary Clinton surfaced that questioned Obama's citizenship in an attempt to revive Clinton's faltering primary election campaign. These and numerous other chain e-mails during the subsequent presidential election circulated false rumors about Obama's origin, religion and birth certificate.[25][26]'
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barack_Obama_citizenship_conspiracy_theories


While the right seems to have picked up the ball and ran with it,it appears that hillary's crew got the ball first....

Oh my.
'

 

Psssst . . . Gorn Captain, I suspect that there were a great many excellent reasons why you ended up getting banned. Thanks much for putting at least some of those abundant reasons thereof on display . . .