Ask someone who's transgender anything!

Wow I'm not even going to pretend that I'm a frequent poster here anymore....

So as the title implies I'm transgender and since a lot of discussion is (finally) about transgenders it might be nice to talk to someone who is open about their status as trans. Ask me any questions and I shall answer them as best as I know how.

Also if you don't know me, hi I'm Kranes56, how are you today? And for those that do know me, yeah I have finals and I'm kinda procrastinating right now.

 

So... how long have you been open about your transgender status? Did your parents support you?

 

Well I started coming a little over a year ago. But I didn't officially come out until January this year. So far it's been good but my parents are so so. Dad is supportive but mom isn't as much. They're both coping as best as they can.

 

Questions.

Do you feel that Jesus hates you or are the current Christian interpretation and application of their fables misguided?

Do you find the debate over transgenders in restrooms to be totally silly, as restrooms are for relieving ones bowels and not dens of sin?

 

I'm not particularly religious but I don't think "Jesus" hates me. One of the places I go for group support is right across from a church, and I know that if something bad ever happened that church would be alright with me staying there while I got everything together. But nor do I think it's misguided, it's just what it is when it comes to religion. Some things get more emphasis then others, and transgenders got the short end of that stick.

I would laugh, but it actually is a serious topic within the LGBT community. By not being able to use the restroom according to gender identity it risks outing transgender people which can in turn threaten them financially, occupationally and physically. Likewise it's also a smack in the face of transgender people. We have dignity and using the bathroom without harassment is an exception.

 

Are you a girl identifying as male or vice versa? It seems like dads are more supportive of their daughters turning transexual than they are their sons, but your dad may be just more open. My wife works with a early teen girl identifying as male, she has the support of both her parents. I say 'her' because she still goes by her birth name, but she is by all accounts behaviorally a boy.

 

I'm male to female. I'm not too sure what the general trend is for parents. I don't think it's based on gender rather experiences. Certain experiences make people more open to the LGBT community. Also please tell your wife thank you so much for the work that she's doing. It really means a lot for LGBT to have someone help them out.

 

Do you have a motor vehicle? If so, what make, model and year?

 

Thanks. I think she feels privileged to work in the community we have here. V is a great kid with high sprits.

Yea, I guess its all a matter of an individual willing to accept that another person is different than they are. Do you think its harder to go from male to female though? It seems like even in the LGBT community some of the sex stereotypes persist. Society seems pretty male oriented in general.

Sorry I've got to sign out. I have parental duties calling. The sleepover from H...

 

Please consider Me a Friend.

 

Do you ever get turned on by yourself as your other gender? How much of the appeal of Transgender is that you can become your own lover (sort of)?

 

Hi friend! How are you?

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Are you asking how turned on am I by other transgenders?

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That's actually a funny question. I never learned how to drive. Closet logic made it so driving is impractical. Alternative forms of transportation are better and love it too much now to get a car anyways.

 

I don't know if it's harder but we tend to get more press attention (Think about Caitlyn Jenner) and when something bad happens the mtf are usually the first ones to be broadcast. It does help people be more aware of sexism in society though. For the life of me I will never understand why more dresses don't have pockets to them. For years I had an ipod, no scratches. Transition? Two nice and long scratches because there were no pockets to put it into.

 

Lol

As open as our social life is I haven't met a mtf transexual, that was open about it anyway. I interact with almost every other aspect of LGBT on a regular basis though.

As far as confusion goes (among the 'normal' crowd) I tend to understand, but the fear and anger are bizarre. The challenges the T's face is multisided from what I see. The sexual aspect of personality is a major part of most peoples identity. So much so that, for some, to suggest its not hardwired in everyone its translated as an attack on their identity. I see some of this to a greater or lesser degree in the gay and lesbian communities, not openly much in the people I know, but in their defenses and emotional responses to different situations.

For instance I suspect V is a ftm who is attracted to males. Genetically this would make her 'normal', but in the confines of her personality it makes her gay. I think the people we work and associate with will support her regardless, but I know that for some of them it will be a mental hurdle. Enough so that I don't voice my suspicion at all.

 

When did you know you were a girl in a boy's body?

 

I had the first "why do i feel like I'm in the wrong body" experience when I was in kindergarten. In music class we were talking about dances and the "can-can" dance came up and the music teacher started talking about how we were all supposed to dance and she had skirts for us to try on. Immediately I had that feeling of I wanted to try on the skirt but knew I couldn't. I didn't think anything of it, but that was the first experience for me. I didn't actually know I was transgender until 8th grade though.

 

Oh yeah that's the big problem. Transgender people question the notion of gender and make people question themselves and where they stand in society. Nobody likes that, after all Socrates did the same thing and look where he ended up. But I'm glad that you know me at least, transgender people don't have a lot of coverage in the news when it counts and we need that coverage in order to be safe. So it's good to get to know as many people as possible.

 

That's sort of what I expected.. I think children know early on...

 

Yeah, a lot of research into transgender feelings have shown that children know that they're transgender at a very young age. But they might not know enough to know that gender is inflexible later on due to body changes.

 

Do you think there should be any restrictions on what a transgender can do or where they can go?

As examples ...

Most sports are divided by gender. It is a fact that in most sports, men and boys have a natural advantage over women and girls, so the sports are divided by gender. This allows women and girls the opportunity to compete on a level playing field. I'm asking you to weigh in on this.

The other question is about common shower facilities, such as at a high school, college, community pool, health club. How do you think that should work? In particular, when the transgender has had no surgeries.

 

“Advocacy groups report that, in the United States, nearly 1 in 5 women and nearly 1 in 8 high school girls have been sexually assaulted.* For many of them, the mere presence of a biological man in a women’s restroom is a trigger that causes severe emotional and mental harm—regardless of that man’s intentions.”

https://www.adflegal.org/safe-bathrooms?sourcecode=05HL0001

 

I don't think there should be any public restrictions on what any gender can do. If it's a public good then there should be no gender restrictions on it. If it's private then the private person is doing whatever they want to do. So long as the institution isn't harming its members, then it can do what it so wants.

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So what's the question?

 

Forgive me for being a little thick, but I didn't understand your answer. Let me try to be more clear.

Should a person who is an anatomical male be allowed to play on a girl's high school basketball team, keeping in mind that those male physical characteristics will give him a physical advantage over the other players? Would it be wrong for a school to say that, for the purposes of sports, anatomical males will only be offered the opportunity to play on teams consisting of other males?

Should a person with male genitalia be allowed to shower and change clothes with females in the girl's locker room at school? Is it wrong for a school to declare that where a person showers and changes clothes must be in the locker room consistent with their genitalia?

 

So if I'm understanding what you're saying is should there be any distinction based on sex. Sex and gender are two different things. I don't really see any point in using sex as a marker for what a person can and can't do. So that's moot to begin with. This means that any discussion on genitalia doesn't matter at all. Gender is more important. The social construct of male and female are more important for divisions. If it's anything public, there is no point in dividing by gender. In private the rules are set by the organization so that's fine.

 

OK ... If I were the principle of a high school, and I had a male student who was anatomically male in every way but who identified as female, I would insist that he play on male sports teams because I would want to insure fair play for female sports participants.

Furthermore, I would direct that anatomical male to shower and change clothes in the facility designated for males. My reason would not be to harm the transgender but, instead, to respect the rights of girls to shower and change clothes in an environment of modesty and to allow them the comfort zone of doing those things in the presence and view of other anatomical girls only. This is a cultural norm that goes back a long, long time, and it was never instituted to harm anyone or discriminate. And I would argue that protecting rights is a two-way street, not a one-way street.

Am I wrong?