Sarah Silverman Thinks It’s Time To Start Legislating Male Masturbation

Is this just snark? Are male masturbation and abortion even comparable? How could you even tell when any man was going to do the deed?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sarah-silverman-abortion-sperm_us_57433e93e4b0613b512aef44

Sarah Silverman Thinks It’s Time To Start Legislating Male Masturbation
If we’re going to dictate what women do with their bodies, might as well dictate what men do with theirs.
05/23/2016 03:48 pm ET
16 K
Maxwell Strachan
Senior Editor, The Huffington Post

RICHARD SHOTWELL/INVISION/AP
Look, Sarah Silverman gets it. We live in a country filled with anti-abortion activists who feel they have the right to decide what a woman does with her body. It sucks, but that’s where we’re at. In 2016. Sure, fine, OK.

But if we’re going to defend the right of men to enact laws that limit the options of pregnant women, Silverman has just one follow-up question: Shouldn’t we do the same with men who wish to regularly masturbate without consideration for the poor sperm cells they kill every time they do so?

During a stand-up set at the Brooklyn Academy of Music in New York City on Sunday evening, Silverman noted a recent discovery she made about one half of the very basis of human life. And no, we’re not talking about eggs.

“Here’s something that I learned that is fascinating, and it’s this: Scientists have found that sperms cells smell,” Silverman said. “Like I know sperm smells, but sperm cells have the sense of smell, and you know what that means: Sperm is life. And you know what that means: We’ve gotta legislate that (*)(*)(*)(*).”

Do you get where she’s going with this? You get where she’s going with this. But let’s go with her anyway. Silverman noted that multiple states still require women to look at an ultrasound of their fetuses before they make the final decision to go forward with their abortions. And if that’s the case, why don’t we have men do something similar whenever they are about to sexually relieve themselves?

“What we’ll do is — it’s a real simple procedure. We take a really long needle-like basically GoPro camera and we put it down your penis hole, urethra … then down into your testicular sack,” Silverman said. “We’re going to show you the ultrasound, so you can see the life in your balls.”

Her hope, she said, is to save these poor sperm cells from the men who aren’t afraid to kill them with their bare hands. And peeking into a future in which her plan is enacted, Silverman said, “You would not believe the amount of men that do not want to jerk off after that.”

We liked this idea, so we checked out the science of smelling sperm, and there are studies going back at least to 1992 on the issue. Unfortunately, one article from 2012 out of the Max Planck Society appears to throw some cold water on the idea that sperm cells can actually smell outside of the laboratory, but let’s just keep that between us, shall we? This idea is too good to pass up.

Silverman was performing as part of a comedy night at the third annual Vulture Festival, which also featured comedians including Todd Barry, Aparna Nancherla, Lizz Winstead, John Early, and Michelle Wolf. It was a good time.

 

There needs to be a vote system in place in these forums.

A simple 'is this newsworthy?'....yes or no.

too many 'no' votes and the thread gets deleted.

She's obviously joking, it's not news.

 

Sarah Silverman, the far-left comedienne who actually thinks she is funny.

 

Rehashed idiotic talking point is still well... idiotic... Good to know the radical left is still not able to think for themselves.

 

Isn't Sarah Silverman a bit Past Her Sell-By Date?

 

she should be obscene and not heard!

 

I think threads need more than 3 predictable questions. It's always 3 short predictable questions.

 

Awesome. Truly awesome.

 

It may not be news but it is funny enough for posting. People post things about the Bible or things in the Bible that is hardly news but is postable . She has a sick sense of humor - so you don't like it don't listen to her.

 

Just an idiot trying to look smart and profound and looking even more like an idiot.

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Humor is humorous when it has a slight basis in reality, her statement only shows her own ignorance.

 

Awesome ignorance.

Tell me if you eat an egg for breakfast do you tell people you had chicken? Make scrambled chickens?

 

she is obscene !!! did you mean to say obscure ?

 

It's humor. Nothing anyone on the right would understand.

 

yes and should should accentuate what she is good at. she looks hot she has some great legs. I think she's quite attractive

I turn the sound down when she's on a late night show and hope she's wearing something short.

 

Talk about being too sensitive and tired of political correctness. She's a comedian. It's supposed to be funny, and it is. Any stand up set about masturbation is funny. Lighten up and take a joke.

Now that I got that out of the way, if this were a real proposal it would be to make a statement. Obviously you can't prevent guys from jacking off... and you cannot prevent women from getting abortions. Legal or not guys will masturbate, and so will women by the way. Legal or not, women will sometimes seek out an abortion. Either group might have to hide or lie about the fact that they do that thing, but they will do it.


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This is the current events section. I don't think someone telling a joke is a current event.

I don't recall people posting things about the bible in the current events section.

I don't find her funny and I don't listen to her....what's that got to do with this thread?

 

I would submit that this was intended to be sarcasm, to prove the point (as she sees it) that the two subjects are identical. The more serious and troublesome aspect is that it reveals the current limited perspective of the Left in general and the majority of "pro-choice" in particular. Obviously there is no third (or second for that matter) party when it comes to masturbation; however, when it comes to abortion, the "pro-life" advocates reasonably believe that there are three persons involved (counting the doctor). The Left constantly use this "woman's body" argument, which assumes as fact the very question at issue.

Sarcasm is supposed to evidence not only the absurdity of a situation, but also the wit of the writer. In this case it does neither.

(Full Disclosure: I write this as a "pro-choice" individual.)

 

She's a disgusting attention whore, nothing else.

 

Seems to me a lot of conservatives either can't take a joke or don't understand it.

 

Quite the opposite. I understand the attempt at satire, but what makes it neither funny nor witty is the limited perspective of the presenter. In her view, the two are materially the same, but are looked at differently by pro-life advocates. She tries to illustrate this in a humorous and absurd fashion. The satire fails in that the two aren't materially the same, at least one can reasonably view them differently. As she in unable to comprehend how these others view the world, the joke doesn't work. For satire to be successful, it has to illustrate to the opposing side the irrationality of their position.

 

all those millions of Sperm dying.... all potential children

 

Actually she is a comedian.


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One would think to be called a comedian someone would have to find you funny and in her case i find that hard to believe.

 

I thought conservatives were through with being politically correct?! Now it seems they are uncomfortable with what this one comedian was saying during a stand up routine. Stand up is funny because comedians say outrageous things. Society will end if we can't take a joke.


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She's far too clever and sophisticated for conservatives who probably think Benny Hill is the zenith of comedic excellence.