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Thread: On Hell...and explaing Hell!

  1. Default On Hell...and explaing Hell!

    This is probably an apocryphal story, but worthwhile...better, in fact, than most explanations I've seen.

    Supposedly, the following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid-term, and an actual answer turned in by a student. The answer by this student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :


    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

    (Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: )


    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.

    Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

    Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions, and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

    This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

    So which is it?

    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus, I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

    The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is,therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'




    Discussion?

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  3. Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Frank Apisa View Post
    This is probably an apocryphal story, but worthwhile...better, in fact, than most explanations I've seen.

    Supposedly, the following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid-term, and an actual answer turned in by a student. The answer by this student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :


    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

    (Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: )


    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.

    Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

    Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions, and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

    This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

    So which is it?

    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus, I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

    The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is,therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'




    Discussion?
    That's ridiculous.

    For one there is nobody in hell right now. Nobody goes to heaven after they die either. We are all resurrected as Jesus was, by Jesus upon His second coming. The dead in Christ will rise first. All eyes will see Him, even those who pierced Him.

  4. Default

    On Hell...and explaing Hell!
    That's easy....No Such Thing.

  5. Icon17

    Granny says, "Dat's right...

    ... dats' where Jesus gonna put...

    ... alla Bible haters an' jihadi sympathizers...

    ... anna yankee media gay supportin' left-nuts...

    ... dat don't believe an' got no faith...

    ... unless dey repent an' confess dey's lib'ral ways...

    ... an' get right with God...

    ... `cause it says so inna Bible.

  6. Default

    The illusion of hell was created to control the minds of simple people when they were unsupervised. Brilliant use of psychology.

    The Earth was flat when hell was created, so there was an UP and a DOWN. Now that we know we live on a spinning sphere, I would like those who still believe in hell to tell me where it was 12 hours ago!

  7. Default

    Do you know a lot of people in this forum have no sense of humor?

    No...but hum a few bars and I'll try to fake it.

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  9. #7

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by waltky View Post
    Granny says, "Dat's right...

    ... dats' where Jesus gonna put...

    ... alla Bible haters an' jihadi sympathizers...

    ... anna yankee media gay supportin' left-nuts...

    ... dat don't believe an' got no faith...

    ... unless dey repent an' confess dey's lib'ral ways...

    ... an' get right with God...

    ... `cause it says so inna Bible.
    Hell is an invention of the Catholic church. The Jews (and that would include Christ) didn't believe in the concept of hell. The idea was made up centuries after Christ to solidify the church's authority and keep the rabble in line.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Frank Apisa View Post
    Do you know a lot of people in this forum have no sense of humor?

    No...but hum a few bars and I'll try to fake it.
    I have a wonderful sense of humor. But that joke's older than AOL...
    Creationist: I believe THE LORD made me in one day.
    Me: Yep. Looks like He rushed it...

    "Isnít it interesting how fascists always steal the word freedom?"
    ---Stieg Larsson, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

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  11. Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Phyxius View Post

    I have a wonderful sense of humor. But that joke's older than AOL...
    I know. Old jokes are the best...take me for instance, please.

    But to make a joke, even a very old joke, into the kind of thing this has become...is kinda sad.

    Why was 6 afraid of 7?

    Because 7 8 9!

  12. #9

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Frank Apisa View Post
    Discussion?
    Quote Originally Posted by Frank Apisa View Post
    Do you know a lot of people in this forum have no sense of humor?

    No...but hum a few bars and I'll try to fake it.
    We do, some of us just leave it outside the forum. There isn't much to discuss on the thing you posted. A general disagreement of hell and its specifics is as close as we can get to a discussion.
    "Too often, we judge other groups by their worst examples, too often we judge ourselves by our best intentions." -George W. Bush

  13. Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Swensson View Post
    We do, some of us just leave it outside the forum. There isn't much to discuss on the thing you posted. A general disagreement of hell and its specifics is as close as we can get to a discussion.
    Hey Sue, what do you say to a nice walk?

    Oh Harry, that would be lovely!

    Wonderful. Could you bring me some beer and cigarettes on your way back?

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