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Classic comedy one-liners.

Discussion in 'Member Casual Chat' started by cerberus, Jan 13, 2017.

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  1. cerberus

    cerberus Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    'Don't mention the Germans, Polly. I did but I think I got away with it!'
     
    cerberus, Jan 13, 2017
    #1
  2. HonestJoe

    HonestJoe Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    You’re going to hate me so much for the pedantry but that’s not really a one-liner because you need the context of the scene for it to be funny. Sorry. :evil:
     
    HonestJoe, Jan 13, 2017
    #2
  3. cerberus

    cerberus Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Well obviously only someone who's seen it will recognise it and laugh. Jesus what a bloody pedantic party-pooper you are! 'But I like you!' (shove!!) Do you get that one? :mrgreen:
     
    cerberus, Jan 13, 2017
    #3
  4. cerberus

    cerberus Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    'I learn Eeenglish from aye booook!', and when the dog sitting at the table goes for him - 'He bite me!' :roflol:
     
    cerberus, Jan 13, 2017
    #4
  5. Johnny Brady

    Johnny Brady New Member

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    To hotel inspector at 2:20- "Would you care for a rat?"

    [video=youtube;K_q4S7lZeik]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_q4S7lZeik[/video]
     
    Johnny Brady, Jan 13, 2017
    #5
  6. cerberus

    cerberus Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    In Cheers - Norm says 'Sammy's a man of few words.' and Diane says 'That's because he doesn't know many!' [​IMG]
     
    cerberus, Jan 13, 2017
    #6
  7. Ritter

    Ritter Well-Known Member

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    "Have you ever seen a grown man naked before?"
     
    Ritter, Jan 13, 2017
    #7
  8. cerberus

    cerberus Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I never did understand Swedish humour! :blankstare:
     
    cerberus, Jan 13, 2017
    #8
  9. Ritter

    Ritter Well-Known Member

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    It is from the American movie Airplane but whatevaaaa. :)
     
    Ritter, Jan 13, 2017
    #9
  10. cerberus

    cerberus Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    [​IMG]
     
    cerberus, Jan 13, 2017
    #10
  11. cerberus

    cerberus Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Just got around to watching that. lol Polly, eh? Phwooaaaar!!
     
    cerberus, Jan 13, 2017
    #11
  12. Hotdogr

    Hotdogr Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    My grandfather has the heart of a LION. (...And a lifetime ban at the zoo)
     
    Hotdogr, Jan 13, 2017
    #12
  13. cerberus

    cerberus Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I never did understand American humour - or 'humor'? :mrgreen:
     
    cerberus, Jan 13, 2017
    #13
  14. Hotdogr

    Hotdogr Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    There are 10 types of people, those who understand binary and those who don't.
     
    Hotdogr, Jan 13, 2017
    #14
  15. Hotdogr

    Hotdogr Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
     
    Hotdogr, Jan 13, 2017
    #15
  16. Hotdogr

    Hotdogr Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street, and... Ooooohhhhhh, that's much better...
     
    Hotdogr, Jan 13, 2017
    #16
  17. cerberus

    cerberus Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    They're pathetic! and we don't want jokes, we want comedy one-liners?
     
    cerberus, Jan 13, 2017
    #17
  18. Hotdogr

    Hotdogr Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    My watch is three hours fast, and I can't fix it. So I'm going to move to New York
     
    Hotdogr, Jan 13, 2017
    #18
  19. Hotdogr

    Hotdogr Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time." So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
     
    Hotdogr, Jan 13, 2017
    #19
  20. Johnny Brady

    Johnny Brady New Member

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    "Don't tell him Pike!"

    [video=youtube;bhY-Y0I8DkY]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhY-Y0I8DkY[/video]
     
    Johnny Brady, Jan 13, 2017
    #20
  21. cerberus

    cerberus Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    [​IMG] One of the best of all of them.
     
    cerberus, Jan 13, 2017
    #21
  22. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    [video=youtube;Z_JOGmXpe5I]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_JOGmXpe5I[/video]
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Jan 13, 2017
    #22
  23. cerberus

    cerberus Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    cerberus, Jan 14, 2017
    #23
  24. yguy

    yguy Well-Known Member

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    From U Turn (Penn, J Lo, Nolte): "YOUR LIES ARE OLD...

    ...but ya tell'em pretty good."

    From Steve Martin: "I think you should get to know a woman before you...

    ...use and degrade her."
     
    yguy, Jan 14, 2017
    #24
  25. truth and justice

    truth and justice Well-Known Member

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    "Play it nice and cool, son, nice and cool, you know what I mean?"
    [video=youtube;63rcdLeXiU8]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63rcdLeXiU8[/video]
     
    truth and justice, Jan 15, 2017
    #25
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