My Second Life and other Secrets

You obviously like sex so much that you forgot to answer my question. Never mind.

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Bald minges are a turn-off.

 

I misunderstood. Yes, I can't handle feminists anymore. I was married to one for 25 years and that is quite enough. I am only interested in women who actually respect men. Beyond the physical side, that is one of the huge advantages of seeing younger women. A smaller percentage come with a big attitude problem. And they are generally far less likely to judge. They are more accepting.

My first sb and I never had one fight or even a serious disagreement, over three years! We just enjoyed our time together. It was truly a pure joy. No hassles, no grief, no crap. Just fun and lots of quality time. Every moment that we were together, I was the happiest man in the world. And that is the absolute truth. I doubt my wife of 25 years and I had as much good time together. In fact I know we didn't. She was always too busy complaining about god knows what!

It took a little getting used to at first. Jumping in the sack with a couple of 20 somethings who were shaved was a bit of a shocker the first time. The age difference was bad enough. Add to that the fact that I had never been with a woman who was shaved, and it felt a little uncomfortable at first. But I suffered through and got over it.

 

What a trouper! I'd ask you about er, friction burn, but I'm afraid the reply might be TMI??

 

Actually, some women are starting to go back to landing strips. Shaving causes micro-abrasions that increase the chance of bacterial infections. As the word gets around I've noticed that some women are no longer shaving completely.

Men started shaving because it appears to add length! No kidding!!!

 

I keep talking about number 1, but to be fair I have had a lot of great time with a lot of women. In all I'm technically seeing my 13th sugar baby... I think. I say technically because the line between dating and officially being in sb mode is rather arbitrary. If we only get to the third date and the sex is bad, or things just aren't working, I don't count that. I've actually dated [from one coffee date to a six-month relationship] over 100 women, since number 1 left. I lost count after that. And based on my Excel sheet, in order to get 100 coffee dates, I had to approach and ask out over 500 women, online.

Number 1 was the longest relationship by far but I've seen a number of women for 3-6 months each. For one reason or another things weren't working out, so they or I, or we both moved on. I haven't managed to find heart-pounding romance again yet but I've had a lot of fun nonetheless. And I think most of them would say we had a nice run. I always spoil them and treat them like a queen. In fact I really knock myself out to make each and every date as special as I can.

The point is, while looking for that someone special, this beats the hell out of being alone or making a career out of regular dating. Once beyond the first coffee date, I've only had I think two bad dates. The rest all ended up being fun and usually end in a night of sex with a beautiful young woman who should be out of my league.

 

This thread is honestly pathetic. Rich middle-aged man pays 20 year old girls to have sex with him, brags about it online. What's the point? Are you seeking validation of your lifestyle from anonymous strangers online?

 

Why are you reading? If you don't like it, go away.

 

I have learned a lot about getting back in shape after years of no exercise and a horrible diet. So was thinking to pass along some key points from what I've learned.

First let me say this: When I started this five plus years ago, I wasn't sure if I would survive. I was honestly worried that I might die of a heart attack before I get in shape. I didn't get a doctors approval and didn't want one. Either I was going to get in shape or I was going to die trying. Luckily, I never dropped dead! I also started out slowly and gradually built up. Aside from the fact that I might have dropped dead at any moment, I was smart about it! Don't rush. What matters is consistency.

Since then, I have lost something around 100 pounds of fat [best guess] and added 40 pounds of muscle. I am now shooting for 10% body fat.

As I said, the elliptical is a sex machine. It allowed me to stop using Viagra. Performance is mostly a blood flow issue. Poor health leads to poor circulation. One result can be classic sexual disfunction, which can mean anything from intermittent to a complete inability to perform, to varying levels of unsatisfactory performance. By changing to a healthy diet and hammering that cardio on the elliptical, I was able to drop my blood pressure to the normal range, regain much of my physical stamina, and dramatically improve my sexual performance.

^^^ When I started all of this, for the first two years, I was a smoker.

If you are a smoker, don't let that discourage you. You can still make dramatic improvements to your health while still smoking. And the healthier you get, the more you will WANT to quit.

There is a lot that I want to say about the elliptical and I've been wanting to post about that. But I noticed an interesting article tonight about muscle burn that I wanted to post. I had almost forgotten my old football coach yelling about how you have to feel the burn. And for many years, athletes were taught that you want to limit the burn and stay just below the "lactic acid threshold". But it turns out, that is wrong. When exercising, the burning feeling you get when near your limit is caused by the build up of lactic acid. I was always taught that this is when you improve the most. Push yourself through that last bit until you can't lift the weight one more time. Feel the burn!!! And it seems my old coaches were right!

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/05/16/health/nutrition/16run.html

When I lift weights, I do as many lifts as I can, and then pause. Breath a few times, and do as many as I can do again, pause, and do as many as I can again. When I finally stop, my muscles are burning intensely. But I seem to get the best results this way when lifting relatively light. This is much in line with the P90X program model, which does not require weights at all but gets insanely dramatic results.

 

10% body fat

 

I'm sure he stopped reading it since he posted that almost a week ago.

 

I was reminded of a great video. This discusses the effects of porn and porn-induced erectile dysfunction - a big problem for young men especially. It is well worth a watch. One of my favorite observations: When the internet came along, an entire generation of men had to learn to masturbate left handed!

[video=youtube;jpX_mShUmDI]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpX_mShUmDI[/video]

 

I spent the night with the most beautiful woman I've met since my baby left - a SMOKING hot blonde. And better than that, we have fantastic chemistry. It was like being with an old friend the moment we finally met in person. I've waited seven months for this date! We've already agreed that this is going to work. Already I'm counting the hours until I can see her again.

There is a bit of sadness attached as well. She has some kind of huge family problem going on that causes her a lot of grief. When she alluded to it I could see a lot of pain her eyes. I find myself worrying about her today.

It is funny how someone comes into your life, and suddenly their life becomes a part of your life.

 

I am sitting here watching 50 Shades of Gray, for the first time. Parts of it are funny!

I have explored the world of kink a bit. As it turns out, as kink goes, I'm pretty vanilla. I don't have any desire to do the really crazy stuff. But I've played a bit. I have learned that everyone has a fetish or two and that is fun to explore. So when I meet a new woman, I ask. It is surprising how quickly some will open right up. There was this one young lady, only about 22, whom I saw for about six months. One night I finally asked point blank, "Do you have any fetishes?". Without even hesitating, she blurted out, "Yeah, ropes!". And she about jumped off the couch when she said it. She also said that she had never actually engaged in bondage. So it was a secret fantasy that she had never shared. One only needed to ask and she couldn't wait to try it.

I had played a little with Velcro straps but nothing serious. Those are just intended to give the feeling of being restrained. One could easily escape with a good tug. But using real ropes gets a little more serious. I even asked if straps would be the same. Nope! She wanted real ropes. I knew a woman online who was really into kink so I asked her for guidance. She directed me to a number of instructional videos. The most striking part of that: Many if not the majority of bondage instructional videos are made by women!

Why an instructional video? Safety!!! Restraining someone can cause the loss of circulation and even nerve damage. The point of the videos is to learn safe knots that won't cause injury. They also offer basic safety tips, such as what kind of rope to use, and keeping a pair of scissors handy in case an emergency escape is needed. It was all quite practical. Quite a surprise actually. I had no idea what I was going to see. So I sat there one afternoon and learned a few safe knots. When she came over the next time I was ready. And we had a blast. She also got off on the fact that I had gone to so much trouble. I remember her sitting and smiling from ear to ear as I showed her my new rope tricks, and tied her up.

The same for hot wax. It isn't really a kink thing as much as soothing and therapeutic like massage, allegedly. In reality it made a big mess and was kind of dumb. But the point is, people try this and don't do their homework. If you use simple, unpainted, pure paraffin candles that have no color change, and check the distance needed so the wax isn't too hot, it's safe enough. But I have read horror stories. One couple bought painted candles. When he went to drip wax on her belly, burning paint dripped on her causing serious burns. That will definitely kill the mood and could land someone in the hospital.

But the stuff people are into is amazing. Some people get so crazy that they keep a defibrillator handy!

The young lady I had been seeing REALLY liked to be spanked, hard! In fact, I read one thread where this was one of the most common complaints from women about their husbands and Bfs, in the bedroom. A fair percentage of women like to be spanked. The men are often afraid to spank them as hard as they want to be spanked. I know I was. I had to ask about twenty times before I could adjust - not too hard??? Are you sure???. But other women don't like it at all; or only like to be spanked lightly a few times.

IIRC, something like 2/3 of college students said they have fantasized about bondage. And something like 80% of women like to be spanked. Light to firm hair pulling is also right at the top of the list of favorites listed by women.[But not the black women - they often have expensive weaves! I learned that one the hard way. Don't mess with a sister's weave! ]

Something else that surprised me: I have read that 3 out of 4 men have a foot fetish.

 

It's a strange feeling to go to the hardware store to buy rope for sex. I asked where they keep the rope. "What are you going to use it for" asked the store employee. I wasn't ready for that question.

 

This is what I learned about kink. It's fun to a point. But for everyone there is a line and you don't know where it lies. If you go too far it is hard to go back. I almost blew it with my number one. She wanted to explore kink. But when we did the hot wax thing [her idea, her request], it left her feeling weird. I realized that suddenly she was looking at me differently. The danger is that even if it is the first time you try something, in her mind, if she doesn't end up liking it, she will associate that negative feeling with you. Luckily I nipped this in the bud and we did nothing but regular old missionary for a long time, and managed to undo the damage.

I read about one guy that was heartbreaking. One day his wife of ten years or so, I think, came to him and said she had always had a rape fantasy. And she wanted to experience her fantasy. So at her request, they had their little role playing session. But in the end it disturbed her so much that she could never look at him the same way and divorced him.

 

I thought my newest acquaintance was going to work out but now I'm not so sure. I don't think we're entirely on the same page.

While some who object to this lifestyle try to represent it as prostitution, it is very different. My first six months of weekends after separating were spend mostly in Nevada. I have definitely seen my fair share of escorts. I have also spent a lot of time talking with escorts, especially on escort forums. While there is crossover, the world of sugar babies is very different from the escort world. It is a spectrum that ranges from escorts posing as sbs, to true romance and even marriage. What I seek is a deep connection. I can't expect it to be forever but then nothing is. So my approach is to find someone with whom I can spend at least 2 or 3 years of close, quality time. Ideally I will even fall in love again.

And that is what brings me to the point. There is a vast misunderstanding of the dynamics in the world of escorts as well as sbs. There is the gutter to be sure. Massage parlors and low-end prostitution are an ugly scene where some of the stereotypes are still true. But for the average person it is very different. And this is the funny part. There is a perception that men control the women. That really isn't true. The women demand to be treated with respect just like any women would. In fact even more so! Escort and SBs, almost by definition, are strong and confident women. They have to be to try this in the first place. But more than that, many men develop feelings for their escort or sb. Many men fall in love. If you want to send an escort running, tell her you love her! Some will try to play on that and take advantage of the guy. But most don't want the drama. And many are just too nice to do that.

This all came to mind because I have been meeting new women on the SD site [one of several I use]. In their profiles, the women will often say something like, "It is sweet that so many guys are here looking for their soul mate but I just want something casual." In fact the men don't tend to be control freaks looking to control women, as so many people assume. They [we] often want to fall in love.

And sometimes it works out. Sugar daddies do sometimes marry their sugar babies. And johns sometimes marry their escorts.

There are men known in the escort world as players, who see as many woman as they can. And there is a percentage of abusive users out there. And many would-be SDs are really just guys looking to get laid. But every escort and sugar baby I've ever talked with have said that most guys they meet are very nice. In fact, most of us normal guys are really looking for connection. We just want to find it with a woman way to young and beautiful for us.

I couldn't help but note the logic of this: I can see about ten times as many women by dating sugar babies, as I can in regular dating. In the sugar world, it is far easier to get a coffee date; and with a woman who is way out of my league and not someone I could normally date. So while the odds of finding that special connection are far less given the age of the women and their exceptional looks, I meet ten or even twenty times as many woman. And all for the price of a cup of coffee.

I estimate that I've spent about $2200 on coffee dates over the last two years. As near as I can tell, today was coffee date 110.

 

I've been wanting to post this for a long time as a part of this thread, but decided it best to start anther thread.

Zen and the Art of Elliptical Traning
http://www.politicalforum.com/index.php?threads/zen-and-the-art-of-elliptical-training.499658/

 

She certainly become part of yours when she touches you up for some dollars to pay for er, 'family counselling'? And by the way you're 'worrying about her' she'll undoubtedly get it!! Her motto is probably 'There's one born every minute.'

 

You go right ahead and talk while dating your right hand.

 

PS. Coffee date 111 went fantastically today. Hot date tonight!

I had five coffee dates scheduled between Saturday and next Monday but I may not make the rest. With practice this gets easier and easier. I just get online, find anyone who might interest me, read each profile, and try to come up with something funny or clever or targeted to their profile. The women constantly complain that men don't read their profiles. Some even put in a test, e.g. "say something with the word rainbow so I know you read my profile". It is paradoxical in a sense. They want the man to show some genuine interest. But they often don't say much in the profile and tend to shy away from guys who get too serious. It is the craziest dance on eggshells going. But that is part of what makes it fun. Every woman is a new mystery.

Typical: I like travel, fine dining, outdoor activities, dancing, music... I want adventure in my life. I am looking for genuine compatibility.

After the first one or two hundred of those you run out of things to say.

I have learned to filter the escorts and scammers and users. I sent out about 50 messages over the last week and had about twenty discussions. This resulted in 5 solid coffee dates and I only made it to number 2 before finding someone. Not bad for a week. We had a really great coffee date. I have high hopes for the evening - for the chemistry. I wanted to jump her bones right there in Starbucks! But you never know until the sun comes up.

 

Addendum: Things went wonderfully! And she is the energizer bunny!!!

I had to post my new favorite video. This says it all - true poetry.

 

Do not go gentle into that good night
Dylan Thomas, 1914 - 1953
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

Not having sex is bad. Being dead is worse. I recently experienced an emergency aortic dissection. No one survives such a thing. I did. I'm 72. I'm married and have been for nearly 40 years. I've been a fighter pilot and an infantryman. Life to me is magical and I don't need young women to give me reason to live. I read and think and observe which gives me plenty of reason to love life. Life is about living it and not about snuggling with young women.

 

I used to wear a kilt @ home as a younger man.

Dead of winter was a drag in one, when I lived around the Stanley / Lublin area though.

Wolves, bear, & bone chilling cold made trips to the woodshed fantastic material for daily diary or journal entries.