Calling all Barracks Lawyers :-)

Yeah I was young and dumb at the time. I did a lot of stupid things back in my younger years. Thankfully it never effected my career in the long run. Hell my dumbass showed up to basic training half drunk. On civilian flight in to basic the lady sitting next to us realized we were new recruits headed to basic and told us about how proud she was and her parents were all military and whatnot. She offered to buy us all drinks, some of them refused (the smart and right thing to do) but a few of us including myself were like hell yeah my life is about to suck Ill take a drink. She kept them coming until we were inbound for landing. Got to the terminal and a bus picked us up for the short ride to in processing at the base.

I'll never forget that day. We're all sitting in the back of the bus half drunk and carrying on goofing off. Then the bus stopped and the in processing Drill Sergeant walks on and calmly says "Alright gentleman you have exactly one minute to get off this bus and lined up in alphabetical order on the yellow line outside." We're still sitting back there laughing and what not and casually grab our bags. Then about 2.3 seconds later he walks back on the bus "GET THE (*)(*)(*)(*) OFF OF MY BUS YOU SORRY MOTHER (*)(*)(*)(*)ERS, NOW!"

Our buzz wore off within about .03 seconds.. We just looked at each other stunned..."oooohhhh......(*)(*)(*)(*)"

Medical studies and all of that be damned. After that I was a firm believer that it is literally possible to "scare somebody sober".

 

That also happened to me during my first trip to MEPS, I went to MEPS 2 damn times...

I went to the recruiter and got paperwork done and got a small list of MOS's available. I go to MEPS and do the whole thing only to get back to the recruiting office for them to say what I wanted to do actually wasn't available. Im like what the hell? Why did you send me to MEPS then? You knew that was what i wanted to do...

I think they do that so as to not waste time with you and make sure you are even cleared for military service before they continue dealing with you. No real point in spending days going over different MOS's only to find out that you are disqualified for military service. A good buddy of mine was disqualified at MEPS with me while trying to join the Navy. Him and I went to our respective recruiters together almost every day for weeks talking to them trying to get a feel for the different jobs and contemplating what we might want to do and all of that. Then we finally agreed to go to MEPS and he ended up getting DQ'd due to some weird heart condition he never knew he had.

So not to sound like an ass but the Navy recruiter pretty much wasted weeks of his time with my buddy sitting down with him everyday only for him to not even be medically qualified for military service. So I assume they want to get you to MEPS ASAP just to make sure they even have a reason to talk to you any further.

 

Navy ranks still screw up my simple brain to this day.

I remember one time we had to do a joint exercise with some Sailors. We arrived and I approached a group of guys asking who was the big fish in charge so we could talk and get things set up. They said "Our Lieutenant is waiting for you over there, he will take you to the Captain". I say ok thanks. So I walk "over there" for awhile looking for their LT. I couldn't find this guy so I walked up to a Captain and asked him if he knew where LT so and so was. He says "Yup that's me how are you doing? The Captain is in his office waiting I'll take you to him"

I'm like "OK what? Are you Captain so and so?" He laughs and says "No I wish, I've got a few more years before that I think".

Alright these guys are (*)(*)(*)(*)ing with the dumb Army guy haha funny.

Then we meet the Colonel and he says "Hello there, I'm Captain so and so, I see you have already been introduced to Lieutenant so and so, please have a seat and we'll talk about our upcoming exercise".

I stand up and laugh, "Alright Sir's I'll admit that was pretty funny, but you guys can go switch your ranks back with the other guys you are going to screw up my other Soldiers outside haha"

The Colonel looks at me dumbfounded "Pardon? I'm not sure I understand what you mean?"

Im like "Yeah I get it, we do the same thing to our new guys, whenever a new guy shows up we all swap ranks and pretend to be other people to mess with them, it always gets them. Making one of our Privates the 1SG and one of out LT's the Company Commander and stuff, it's pretty funny I'll admit"

The Colonel pauses for a moment and rubs his chin then just throws his head back and starts laughing hysterically.

"haha I don't think you understand, Our "Colonels" are called Captains, our "Captains" are called Lieutenants, our "Lieutenants" are called Ensigns or Lieutenant Junior Grade, we weren't messing with you Sir I forgot you Army boys probably didn't know that".

..........

Lovely, I just made an ass out of myself in front of the Navy O-6 that I had to spent the next week battle planning with.... Excellent first impression LOL