Feel free to add your own line on the popular anti Romney attack.. If Obama was Santa Claus The North pole would be Unionized ..Less toys would be built and they would cost too much to deliver.. Reindeer would be protected under PITA and the environmentalist would cancel flight plans. Elves would find it easier under Obamacare..never working because the work rule was never enforced. Only the children that sang the great Obama song would receive any gifts at all..only after Taxing all the other people on the planet. Be creative..add yours !
obama could not possibly be santa claus. santa claus was a vatican torture, assassination, and execution expert from the medieval age. he left rome for one of the outskirt barbarian regions under the pretence that he was going there to go assasinate a target leader of that which they simply refered to as pagans. on his way into the city he was met by a pagan whom described the scenario that santa was there to assasinate his target and demanded a duel. santa refused the duel and discribed that he was merely a priest going to take over the local parish. the man then described that if santa was not going to kill him then he would die anyway since he would be killed by the pagan santa had come to eliminate. santa said he was sorry and that he would work hard to prevent the man from being killed. santa then continued to the monistary stronghold. to be continued.
Santa would sneak into the houses of 1%er's and steal from them on Christmas Eve so that he could redistribute them, but only to children who have parents in unions and other party favorites. All the rest of the children will wake to discover a leaflet saying that the "*********s" had bagged up all their toys and stolen Christmas with a picture of the Newt GinGrinch on the front. Not to worry though, children will be given vegetable in their stockings and other healthy snacks in their stockings instead of candy with a note displaying a suggested daily exercise program for them. They will also be given a checklist of ways to improve their heating and cooling and instruct children to turn off lights when they leave the room and to turn off the water when they are brushing their teath etc etc. As for Mrs. Clause, forget it, Santa can finally marry that elf he has always been attracted to......not that there is anything wrong with that.
at the monastery stronghold he began working his way up the chain of command eventually becoming a bishop or some such rank. he made a vow that he was only to be a good bishop or whatever and not a warring sort. he quickly attempted to quell local disputes such as the type of family feuds but found it extremely difficult. on one occasion he had to settle a dispute between two men who had used each other's families to exact revenge upon one another. this deeply troubled santa, ultimately he was unable to settle the differences as both of the two family heads had committed grievous crimes against the other's family members. rape, murder, and rape murder being among the many misdeeds. santa demanded that this feud be ended with one of the two heads of family taking the other out. "be it duel or stabbing of the back, this feud will end," he said. when it was announced to santa that one of the two had been slain santa waited until nightfall, he had sent order that the local patrolmen take the night off. it was the darkest night the city had seen since the patrolmen were originally given the task of keeping the street lights lit in many decades before. no moon shown hint of what lay wait within the shadows that night. with no light, the streets were bereft of sign or sight of anyone, including santa in blackest flowing satin. into the survivors unlocked window, santa crept. to be continued
