White House sources have confirmed that President Obama has agreed on a deal that would completely eliminate any and all control or imput he had on the Executive Branch. Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-OH) called the agreement "something that has been long over-due," adding "It's about time we came to an agreement on something. I think this is something that can greatly benefit the American people." President Obama was asked to comment, but was unable to because Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA) was giving him a wedgie in the Oval Office.