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Smartie's Bar & Grill #67

Discussion in 'Member Casual Chat' started by Smartmouthwoman, Mar 28, 2017.

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  1. Smartmouthwoman

    Smartmouthwoman Bless your heart Past Donor

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    Sweating like a Ho in church.
    Busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest.
     
    Smartmouthwoman, Apr 3, 2017
    #251
  2. Smartmouthwoman

    Smartmouthwoman Bless your heart Past Donor

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    Hey, I have those relatives too!

    I pay my bills online and keep up with em on a spreadsheet. Would love to get rid of paper bills altogether. Going thru mail is one of my pet peeves since its 99% junk. Grrrrr.
     
    Smartmouthwoman, Apr 3, 2017
    #252
  3. Smartmouthwoman

    Smartmouthwoman Bless your heart Past Donor

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    Who remembers Mama June from Honey Boo Boo?

    gettyimages-497948796.jpg

    Look at her now...

    0403-mama-june-skinny-splash-4.jpg
     
    Smartmouthwoman, Apr 3, 2017
    #253
  4. B.Larset

    B.Larset Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I text a friend he is Kentucky. He was asking me if I had seen any deer in the courtyard of my apartment.
    This is what I replied yesterday: Well I'll tell ya Donnie. They haint been not one of them deer here today. Bit I can Reckon you will be the first sort of fella
    Thats really good CarverGirl. I was wonderin... how did the goldfinch take to bein wet?
     
    B.Larset, Apr 3, 2017
    #254
  5. B.Larset

    B.Larset Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    B.Larset, Apr 3, 2017
    #255
  6. B.Larset

    B.Larset Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    She is talented with her HANDS!
     
    B.Larset, Apr 3, 2017
    #256
  7. daisydotell

    daisydotell Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Did your Mama ever say this to you, "You better straighten up and fly right."?

    "That is about as useful as a side saddle on a sow."
    "I'd rather be by manure and a mile from water than be late." (usually said on Sunday before church.)
    "A near miss is as good as a mile."
    This one earned a woman the nickname of Froghair by my Mother, Mama would ask her how she was and she would reply, "Fine as frog hair and it split three ways." The woman was froghair from then on.
     
    daisydotell, Apr 3, 2017
    #257
  8. Shangrila

    Shangrila staff Past Donor

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    Miss that Johnny

     
    Shangrila, Apr 3, 2017
    #258
  9. Smartmouthwoman

    Smartmouthwoman Bless your heart Past Donor

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    How big is it? I love it... with a nice big frame, one could design a room around it!
     
    Smartmouthwoman, Apr 3, 2017
    #259
  10. Smartmouthwoman

    Smartmouthwoman Bless your heart Past Donor

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    No, as a matter of fact, she supposedly did all this transformation to attend his wedding to a new wife! TLC aired a whole string of episodes last weekend for her big reveal. I watched a bit of one, but didnt see whether she made it to the wedding. Figure to catch it on reruns. Both her daughters are fat as a butterball. Theyll probably be next. ;)
     
    Smartmouthwoman, Apr 3, 2017
    #260
  11. Smartmouthwoman

    Smartmouthwoman Bless your heart Past Donor

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    Uglier than sin
    Come hell or high water
    Dumber than a box of rocks
    Trust him as far as I can throw him
    Slap you silly

    :)
     
    Smartmouthwoman, Apr 3, 2017
    #261
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  12. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    Horny as a barnyard dog. :D
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Apr 3, 2017
    #262
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  13. Smartmouthwoman

    Smartmouthwoman Bless your heart Past Donor

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    Hung like a race horse. :banana:
     
    Smartmouthwoman, Apr 3, 2017
    #263
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  14. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    Built like a brick sht house. :dual:
     
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2017
    HereWeGoAgain, Apr 3, 2017
    #264
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  15. Smartmouthwoman

    Smartmouthwoman Bless your heart Past Donor

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    Colder 'n a witches t*t

    :smoking:
     
    Smartmouthwoman, Apr 3, 2017
    #265
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  16. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    hotter than Georgia asphalt in July

    :salute:
     
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2017
    HereWeGoAgain, Apr 3, 2017
    #266
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  17. politicalcenter

    politicalcenter Well-Known Member

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    In a brass bra.
     
    politicalcenter, Apr 3, 2017
    #267
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  18. politicalcenter

    politicalcenter Well-Known Member

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    Hit with an ugly stick. Smells so bad it would knock a buzzard off a gut wagon. So ugly it has to sneak up on a glass of water. So low he could crawl under the belly of an ant.
     
    politicalcenter, Apr 3, 2017
    #268
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  19. Texan

    Texan Well-Known Member

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    Happier than a puppy with 2 peters

    More nervous than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs

    Madder than a wet hen

    If that doesn't light your fire, then your wood's wet.

    Spit in one hand and wish in the other and tell me which one fills up first.
     
    Texan, Apr 3, 2017
    #269
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  20. Texan

    Texan Well-Known Member

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    I had a wierd day. I woke up with my beard in my mouth.
     
    Texan, Apr 3, 2017
    #270
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  21. RPA1

    RPA1 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Colder than a well-diggers wallet. Eyes like two pee holes in a snowbank. He went to his knees like a rat eatin' cheese. Busier than a one-armed drug dealer at a Grateful Dead concert. She's so ugly she has to cover her head so sleep can sneak up on her.
     
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2017
    RPA1, Apr 3, 2017
    #271
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  22. Smartmouthwoman

    Smartmouthwoman Bless your heart Past Donor

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    Good morning, wordsters. Hope everyone is bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning.

    x8yz7E5.jpg
     
    Smartmouthwoman, Apr 4, 2017
    #272
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  23. Deckel

    Deckel Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    My favorite saying of all time.
     
    Deckel, Apr 4, 2017
    #273
  24. MMC

    MMC Well-Known Member

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    What.....no coffee? :confused:


    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2017
    MMC, Apr 4, 2017
    #274
  25. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    Strong as an ox
    Stubborn as a mule
    Eyes like an Eagle
    Ears like an owl
    Followed around like a puppy dog
    As mean as a junkyard dog
    Big as a cow
    Hung like a horse
    Happy as a pig in sht
    Proud as a peacock
    As quiet as a mouse
    As sly as a fox

    Horny as a billy goat.
    I've seen this. There is really nothing more pathetic than a horny billy goat. :D
     
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2017
    HereWeGoAgain, Apr 4, 2017
    #275
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