Smartie's Beach Bar & Grill #39

Absolutely...same here. Boss man supposed to be on leave all week, but just "popped in" without notice, so all of a sudden everybody's "busy, busy, busy".....'cept me, anyway. I worked my tail off the last few months getting ready for this past Friday, all the while taking (*)(*)(*)(*) from those who didn't want to mess with the 'behind the scenes' necessary stuff. Screw all of 'em....LMAO! Can you tell my attitude sux???? At least for here.

*cheers* Let's just drink!

 

Any booze? Any pool boys? Dances in...sings. Had my coffee, can't ya tell?

 

*slugs from bottle*

Yeah, I agree... drinking is the only solution.

Just came from a mtg where we discussed all the things we discussed at the retreat last week. Geesh, can't everybody just shut up for a day or two? Either that, or pass around the gung-ho... I'm fresh out.

 

I was working yesterday but never made it to the bar. That means I get a double today!!!! Whisky me barkeep!

 

LOL...we must work with the same people.

 

Hello everyone!

Sorry I haven't been here much the past few days, life has been moving at light speed since Wednesday, and is just now getting back to some semblance of normalcy.

Got home Wednesday. Thursday was clean the house day for the out-of-town visitors we had coming in this weekend. Friday was go pickup the tuxes, get haircuts, and all the other final pre-wedding stuff, finish cleaning the house, and then wedding rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.

Saturday was complete and total chaos! Wife was going to the pre-wedding luncheon for the bridesmaids, when somebody backed into my daughter's car (which wife was driving) and crunched the drivers side. In addition to the wedding chaos, this is now thrown into the mix. Saturday evening was the wedding, home at about 1:00am Sunday morning - and at 4:45am the cat decides that lying on the bed between me and my wife is the ideal spot to give birth to kittens!

Up early Sunday, we all go to church, then lunch with all the out-of-town guests and spend the afternoon visiting. They leave, and Sunday night was take the two other daughters and my wife out for Mother's Day dinner.

Monday was grandson's 8th-grade graduation at 9am, return tuxes, take daughter's car to auto body shop, and then take wife to Dr.'s office to see about large blister on her foot from dancing with me Saturday night.

Today, finally... nothing on the agenda but sleep late, eat breakfast, take a nap, eat lunch, take another nap, have dinner, maybe watch AGT tonight, and sleep.

Loved the weekend, it was a great and wonderful time, and I am SO glad it's over!

 

I know it wasn't real funny at the time(s) all of that was going on, Spots, but your account of things was hilarious!

Yeah, I'd be glad it was over, too! LAMO

 

Sounds like fun, SC!!! Especially if it's somebody else's family wedding!!

Glad you survived... thx for sharing!

 

*ding ding ding*

Rise & shine, folks!! Time to hit the floor runnin! Come on you slackers -- daylight's wastin!!!

(whew! now I'm tired)

 

SC, thanks for sharing, and congrats to the newlyweds. You should write short stories. Good stuff.
Now go find the hammock, lie down, take a deep breath and repeat after me....

[video=youtube;kRg_3rtqLP8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRg_3rtqLP8[/video]

 

Now where did I put that hippie headband?

[video=youtube;O6atUODsWGs]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6atUODsWGs&feature=related[/video]

 

I got your hippie headband, Smartie!

Morning y'all......yippee...Kimi's taking mental health days Thursday and Friday....if you need me for anything, check with me today because I'm checking out tomorrow.

 

Good idea, g/f! Just realized I haven't put in for any offtime next week for Memorial Day! Thx for reminding me... I need to schedule a vac day for Friday so I'll have a nice long 4-day weekend, followed by a 3 day work week!!

WOO HOO!

 

I wanna month off, not just one or two days. My mental health is non existent.

 

Well, go for it, g/f. My friend in Nova Scotia worked for the schools there and they could 'bank' their time off and take it all in one fell swoop. She took advantage of that policy to save up and use two whole months off -- during which time she drove from NS to Texas and stayed with me a few days, then off to the Grand Canyon & California... up the west coast and all the way across Canada back to NS.

Alone.. with no A/C.

Did I mention she's crazy?

ROFLMAO

 

I get four days off next week, too. Friday the 25th is an Air Force holiday and Monday is, of course, a university holiday. Then the next Friday, the 1st of June, we close up because the Walmartians come in and take over campus for the shareholders meeting, so we're given the option to close, and we are. So, three day week this week...and a four day week next week, then another three day week after that. I'll take what I can get. We're getting new cadre this summer and I'm going to take it while I can now.

 

Uh oh... you're gaining on me. I better put in for June 1st off, too. Oh wait! That's my reg off day. Gonna be a long hot June after that. Have you noticed July 4th is on Wed this year? Bummer that...

 

Can't top this one can ya.



General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently.
Read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children.
Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you have to love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time.
In a portion of an ABC radio interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military Headquarters.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL COSGROVE:!
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

The radiocast went silent for 46 seconds and when it returned, this interview was over.

 

Geesh... man joke... guns & prostitutes. We're on a roll here. Next one will no doubt be fart-related.

(LOL, j/k, darlin.. luv yer jokes... keep 'em comin!)

 

A blonde was happily married, but for one thing. Every morning she woke up early and passed gas, waking up her husband. After a few months of marriage, her husband finally said, "you have to stop this". "If you fart any more, you'll fart your guts out".

But when nothing changed, the husband decided to take action and that night he put some pig scraps in her pants.

The next morning, she woke up, farted and quickly went to the bathroom. Two long hours later, she came out and stated, "honey, you were right about me farting my guts out". "But don't worry, I managed to push it all back inside"

 

A Belch is just one gust of wind,
That cometh from thy Heart...
But should it take the downward trend,
It turns into a Fart
___________________________
2 Blokes (Japanese and American) are playing golf. The Japanese guy is getting ready to tee off and suddenly starts talking to his thumb.

American bloke says: "What you doin?"

"Oh, don't worry, with Micro technology I have a Microphone in my thumb. I was just recording a message."

The 2 men carry on golfing, but all of a sudden the American man makes a funny sound, that amazingly sounds like a fart. The Japanese man looks over at him. 'Oh,' says the American. "Don't worry, I'm just receiving a fax."
___________________________________
Blame the Dog
A guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents.

He has a bad case of gas and really needs to releive some pressure.

Luckly, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did it.

He farts, and the woman yells, "Spot, get down from there."

The guy thinks, "Great, they think the dog did it." He releases another fart, and the woman again yells for the dog to get down.

This goes on for a couple more farts. Finally the woman yells, "(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*) Spot, get down before he craps on you."

 

I saw that one lol..I didnt have the nerve..Thanks Shang!