Tasteless Humor 3, Lord How Many More?

BBC News: "Thousands join Scottish anti-racism protests"
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#Gingerlivesmatter

 

A priest, a minster and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says “I think I’m a type O”.

 

And there you have it ladies and gents, this week's really bad pun and it was only Monday.

 

A man tells his friend, "I know a guy who has a small dick and sounds like an owl."

His friend asks, "Who?"

 

Ryanair seating surcharges to make up for lost revenue during the coronavirus pandemic.
Not being seated near old people. £15.
Not being seated near families with kids. £30
Not being seated near religious nuts. £50. Not being seated near a politician. £75.
Not being seated near your wife. £150.
Other prices on request.

 

An Englishman, an Irishman, a Welshman and a Scot are captured by the Iraqis.

The Iraq troop leader says, "we’re going to shoot you, but we will give you one last request." He says to the Welshman, "what’s your last request?"

The Welshman says, "I want a thousand Welshmen singing "Land of my Fathers".

""Okay, you’ve got it. What about you?" he says to the Scotsman.

I want a thousand Scots pipers piping Scotland the brave," says the Scot.

"You"ve got it" says the Iraqi. "What’s your last request?" he says to the Irishman.

"I want a thousand Irishman doing the River-dance" says Paddy.

“It’s yours" says the Iraqi. Turning to the Englishman, he says, "and your last request?"

The Englishman says, "f*cking shoot me first".

 

trump hires Dereck Chauvin to be the new director of whitehouse security

 

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Poor Hitler.

 

Apparently there is bi-partisan agreement in Congress that medicinal marijuana should be allowed for the purpose of relieving arthritis pain. In other words...
...there is joint support for joint support for joint support...

 

My wife recommended I do some light reading to relax at the end of the day, but to be perfectly honest, it wasn't all that relaxing. In fact, my eyes are in a lot of pain right now...
I did however, managed to make out, "60 Watts - Made in China."

 

Not saying childbirth isn't painful...
But have any of you ever sat on a porcelain toilet seat during winter in Ohio?

 

Name this book...

 

GAWD! I hope Trump and his followers know that was a JOKE!!!

 

To Kill a Mockingbird...

 

Definition of a Co pilot
Many years ago, on a long Transcontinental flight, an elderly lady (Gina) asked if she could visit the cockpit. When she got up there, she found four crew members. She asked the first what he did, and he explained that he was the Navigator and his responsibilities were to keep the aircraft on its track across the earth. She turned to next one and asked what he did. He explained that he was the Flight Engineer and his job was to monitor and troubleshoot any aircraft or engine system problems to keep the aircraft operating smoothly. She turned to the next one and asked what he did. He explained that as the Captain he was responsible for everything in the aircraft and to fly and direct everyone in it.

She turned to the First Officer and asked, "Well young man, what is your job?"

He replied "Ma'am, I am the captain's sexual advisor."

Somewhat shocked, she said, "I beg your pardon young man, but what do you mean by that? Very simple ma'am. The captain has told me on a number of occasions that when he wants my ****ing advice, he'll ask me."

 

.....

 

My grandfather was credited for killing 7 German Luftwaffe pilots in one raid. To this day he's still considered the worst mechanic the Germans had.

 

Is this tasteless enough Sally?

Not everyone having underage sex is a paedophile.
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The kids, for instance.