Tasteless Humor 3, Lord How Many More?

Ar

Aren't they all. But then again wood is always grateful for a wet beaver.

 

A man dug a tunnel out of jail and came up on a preschool playground.

“I’m free! I’m free!” he yelled.

“Big deal,” said a little boy. “I’m 4.”

 

https://www.yahoo.com/finance/news/mastercard-investigate-allegations-against-pornhub-155653220.html

Mastercard Inc said on Sunday it was investigating allegations against Pornhub.com following a newspaper column which said many videos posted on the adult website depicted child abuse.

Were the children consenting?



Hey, it's about Tasteless Humor


Moi

 

Humor?

 

Humour,
but yeah Humour?
Wrong thread.

 

Subject: Funnies

1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.

2. To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.

3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.

4. It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.

5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

6. When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.

7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.

8. I had my patience tested. I'm negative.

9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.

10. If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?"

11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.

12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.

13. I run like the winded.

14. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.

15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"

16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?

17. I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.

18. When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east."

19. Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.

20. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.

21. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.

 

I have a theory.
We all have closest full of wire hangers. But have you ever gone to the store and bought a package of wire hangers? Is there a wire hanger boutique in your neighborhood? Have you ever asked "Where are the wire hangers" in a store? Yet there they are.
Now church keys, a bottle opener on one end can opener on the other, those you are constantly losing and buying new ones.
My theory.
Church keys are the larval stage of wire coat hangers. If you leave the drawer open overnight and they get exposed to the night air they transform into wire coat hangers and fly into your closet.

 

I think you’re onto something Bluey.

 

Is it true that T**** offered Jared a blanket pardon and all he asked was for one night in bed with Jared's wife?

 

Donald Trump: If COVID-19 Kills Another 1.8 Million People in the U.S. We Won’t Even Need a Vaccine
The president said Tuesday it’s “terrific” we’re 15% of the way to herd immunity.

 

Even better, no lockdowns then either because that would trigger a greater depression.

 

Actually Rudy's performance in michigan reinforces his hands down his pants in the hotel room with the pretty girl defense. Maybe he does keep a microphone down there.
Which begs the question, how do we know when he's speaking or just lip syncing when talking out his ass?

 

I suppose it's OK for Sally to post something uplifting in the tasteless thread, because she's,well, Sally, but don't the rest of you slime go getting any ideas.

 

Too late. My actual antidepressants - Luna, Bella and Morgana...