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Tasteless Humor

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Moi621, Jul 19, 2014.

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  1. Montegriffo

    Montegriffo Well-Known Member

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    Oh God, she's not going to have to start singing again is she?
     
    Montegriffo, Jan 27, 2019
    #3526
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  2. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    English language :

    A female secretary got an expensive pen as a gift from her boss. She sent him a 'Thank you note' by sms.
    Boss’s wife read the SMS and filed for divorce.
    The SMS said:
    Your penis wonderful and I enjoyed using it last night. It has extra ordinary smooth flow and a firm stroke. I loved its perfect size and grip. Felt like I was in heaven when using it. Thanks a lot"!!!

    Moral: A "space" is an essential part of English grammar.
     
    Sallyally, Jan 27, 2019
    #3527
    Collateral Damage, cerberus, Nonnie and 1 other person like this.
  3. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Telephone rings, woman answers.
    Pervert, breathing heavily, says, "I bet you have a tight arse with no hair?"
    Woman replies, "Yes, I have. He's watching the rugby .... Who shall I say is calling?"
     
    Sallyally, Jan 27, 2019
    #3528
    politicalcenter, Collateral Damage, cerberus and 2 others like this.
  4. Mr_Truth

    Mr_Truth Well-Known Member

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    FꝞck them both - Big sh|ts belong together.
     
    Mr_Truth, Jan 27, 2019
    #3529
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  5. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Some thieving **** has stolen my tools from my van and I need to go to work tonight.
    .
    .
    .
    Has anyone got a crowbar, hoodie, ski mask and a hold all or back pack I can borrow?
     
    Liberty Monkey, Jan 28, 2019
    #3530
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  6. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Liberty Monkey, Jan 28, 2019
    #3531
  7. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Liberty Monkey, Jan 28, 2019
    #3532
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  8. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Liberty Monkey, Jan 28, 2019
    #3533
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  9. Moi621

    Moi621 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    :flagcanada: would not have such a low population if
    :flagcanada:s knew there was other things to do with a lady than

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Especially considering those long Winters and all.
    [​IMG]

    Imprisoning and extraditing is the 21st Century version of . . . . in :flagcanada: culture.




    Moi :oldman:





    :flagcanada: FREE Meng Wanzhou!
    [​IMG]
    She has been charged and :flagus: seeks extradition.
    What took so long?
    Blame :flagcanada:!​
     
    Moi621, Jan 29, 2019
    #3534
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  10. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Dunno, whatever floats your boat.
     
    Sallyally, Jan 29, 2019
    #3535
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  11. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    When I was in London a few months ago, I was approached by a prostitute as I left a club on one of the back streets of Soho. Mainly interested in checking the rate of exchange I assure you, I asked: "How much?"
    "It'll cost ya twenty quid" replied the tart.
    "American Express?" I inquired.
    She gave me an appraising look and said: "You can go as fast as you like" .
     
    Sallyally, Jan 29, 2019
    #3536
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  12. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Just a regular day in Liverpool, assuming the wheels are still attached.
     
    Nonnie, Jan 29, 2019
    #3537
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  13. Collateral Damage

    Collateral Damage Well-Known Member

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    There is a place in the Bronx (NYC boro) that is referred to as 'Strip Alley'. Guaranteed 30 minutes or less your tires and hubcaps are gone. I hour, your hood and or doors are gone. After that, it's piecemeal, but within a week, an oil spot may be the only thing left.
     
    Collateral Damage, Jan 29, 2019
    #3538
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  14. StillBlue

    StillBlue Well-Known Member

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    StillBlue, Jan 29, 2019
    #3539
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  15. Collateral Damage

    Collateral Damage Well-Known Member

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    Pretty close to it!!
     
    Collateral Damage, Jan 29, 2019
    #3540
  16. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    cast.jpg

    So I broke a bone in my hand

    xray.jpg
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2019
    Liberty Monkey, Jan 29, 2019
    #3541
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  17. StillBlue

    StillBlue Well-Known Member

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    The danger of a monkey flinging his poo is when some falls to the floor and slipping in it and breaking something during the fall as you have learned the hard way. Thankfully they left your poo digging fingers free.
     
    StillBlue, Jan 29, 2019
    #3542
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  18. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    That would be less embarrassing than how I actually did it, kick back from a Dewalt drill drilling through a shipping container. Ripped out my hands breaking the bone in the process.

    I only just bought the drill because if was over twice as powerful as the standard Dewalts.
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2019
    Liberty Monkey, Jan 29, 2019
    #3543
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  19. BestViewedWithCable

    BestViewedWithCable Well-Known Member

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    BestViewedWithCable, Jan 29, 2019
    #3544
    politicalcenter, Collateral Damage, Moi621 and 1 other person like this.
  20. StillBlue

    StillBlue Well-Known Member

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    Nah, sounds too manly. I'll come up with something. Although.......SALLY!!!!
     
    StillBlue, Jan 29, 2019
    #3545
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  21. Collateral Damage

    Collateral Damage Well-Known Member

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    A little too much torque?

    I love power tools. But they can be dangerous.

    Make the most of it, play for the sympathy sex.
     
    Collateral Damage, Jan 29, 2019
    #3546
  22. StillBlue

    StillBlue Well-Known Member

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    For all we know he really broke it during sympathy sex but no one was there to rebut his story.
     
    StillBlue, Jan 29, 2019
    #3547
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  23. Collateral Damage

    Collateral Damage Well-Known Member

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    *snort* Sympathy sex USUALLY involves another person. Or not, lol.
     
    Collateral Damage, Jan 29, 2019
    #3548
  24. Crownline

    Crownline Banned at Members Request

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    Crownline, Jan 29, 2019
    #3549
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  25. Collateral Damage

    Collateral Damage Well-Known Member

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    Collateral Damage, Jan 29, 2019
    #3550
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