Why Men Don’t Want To Get Married

i told you to stay off alt.com

srsly, the ex-con/biker/cop exboyfriend thing was a brush off.

 

Oh poor men. Are you guys not feeling appreciated? Aww.

I know what I can offer the right man for me. But then I will just be talking about me. What do men offer woman that we actually want? Look, both sexes can survive on our own in this day and age. Men dont need woman and woman dont need men. Unless you want a child and even then, we really dont need you (nor do you need us)

I did not say that I think marriage is great and everyone should get married. But the way the posts here are saying that woman are the downfall of men, we take everything without giving back. What about the woman who support the men in their lives? The woman who stay home to raise the children (by mutual agreement)? The woman who stand by their men.

You guys cant have it both ways either. You want your independance...and in the next breath you want to be the man of the house where woman are dependant on you to make the choices and suport the family.

As I said earlier, the point is to find someone where you dont have to compromise what you want or dont want to do. Where you compliment each other and support each other. I know it seems like a fairy tale but there are woman out there like that. (just as I am hoping there are men out there like that).

(and sorry for sporadic thought posts. I tend to only read this site and rarely post as I do not debate very well)

 

Someone told me this story about this guy who was getting a divorce. He ended up having to give most of his wages from work to his wife, leaving him very little to live from. When he complained to the judge that what he was being left with was not enough for him to live from, the judge merely replied, "So?" That's pretty tough. I really can't say for sure that really happened, but that is what someone told me.

 

True, but having kids is what most women seem to want. It's hard to find one that doesn't want that.

 

I want a partner. I find women are full of hate and I'm supposed to jump through hoops to prove I'm not like other guys. (*)(*)(*)(*) that your not worth the bother. Then they always have their hands out wanting me to buy them things or do things for them but when I want something in return, how dare I. Again (*)(*)(*)(*) them who needs them. The only reason I never gave up on women is because I was hooked on sex. I take drugs for bi-polar disorder now. Guess what the side effects are. I don't need you anymore so (*)(*)(*)(*) off. I no longer crave sex. You don't have any leverage on me any longer. So you better give me something I want or you ain't getting (*)(*)(*)(*) from me. I don't have to play your silly bull(*)(*)(*)(*) games any more. I can live my life without you. I want a soul mate but I'm tired of playing with you (*)(*)(*)(*)(*)es.

 

I'm a 60+ year old bachelor but will gladly marry if my wife could be a wealthy heiress who came to me with a large & generous dowry. After all, God loves a cheerful giver!

 

One thing that's been odd for me is that this forum is like the opposite extreme of what my real life social circles are like.

Here, the main demographic appears to be white males in their 30s, 40s, and 50s who tend to lean conservative.

In my real life, I have a lot of female friends in their 20s who tend to be liberal and feminist.

So, here, I tend to be left of center, while in real life, I'm generally the conservative of my social circle.

The OP bemoans feminism as part of why marriage is down. I don't view the concept of feminism itself to be a problem, but I have noticed that a lot of younger women seem to push pretty far towards the white male privilege angle in viewing society.

Even as a somewhat liberally minded person, I find some of what passes as feminism to be rather off putting and not really encouraging in terms of entering relationships.

The strange thing is that the best relationship I've had was with a woman from Portugal. She was very much an independent and strong-willed woman, but she seemed to have less of a chip on her shoulder about life in general.

Portugal isn't in the best of shape currently, but when it comes to cultural outlook, they seem to have less of a persecution complex - both among men and women.

 

[h=1]I Have Found The Perfect Woman, I Could Not Ask For More, She Is Deaf, Dumb, Oversexed, And She Owns A Liquor Store.[/h]

 

why is this a racial issue?

ps

you are always pissing and moaning about one "ism" or another

 

On top of the fact that marriage is stacked against men, the workplace is becoming increasingly so.

In any situation where it becomes "He said, she said" he loses.
In any situation where it becomes "He said, she heard" he loses.
The military academies are telling male cadets that their female classmates are more dangerous to their career than any enemy they will ever face.

The only rational approach for a man is to simply say as little as possible to women in the workplace and make sure if he opens his mouth their are witnesses.

The "war between the sexes" was noted in antiquity, but in hyper-litigious America 2013 the situation is driving men into isolation.

Women no doubt want to blame men for this isolation. That is not even worth discussing, but that isolation and alienation is obviously happening and it cannot be construed as a positive development.

 

Dude, holy crap. I am sorry for all the woman you have dated that brought you to this hatred. Not all woman are the same and not all men are the same. Men play just as many games as woman do in the dating world. (Ask me about the guy who got married 4 months into us dating) I know I do not expect my dates to pay for everything. I prefer to pay my way or at least leave the tip or pay for a few rounds. If the guy insists, ok. But I dont expect it anymore. (Now ask me about the guy I went on a date with who brougth $20 to a dinner date in Boston, had to pay for his T ride home too)

We all want a partner.

Have to kiss alot of frogs before you find your prince.

 

I married my best friend, and she beautiful and insatiable.

I love being married.....women can be the best aspect of life.



The first two times kinds sucked though.

 

"...women can be the best aspect of life."

Taxcutter says:
Winning lottery tickets are good, too.

 

Not jaded over women, jaded over marriage and raising a child in today's economy - even in your 'defense' of marriage you described it in terribly unflattering terms yourself, I find that ironic.

- - - Updated - - -

What's married have to do with women? You make it sound like the two things are mutually inclusive.

 

I gave up looking for someone to fall in love with and got into an arranged marriage with my brothers wife's sister. He married her in an arranged marriage and it worked out for him. 6 months and 6,000 bucks later she was here and I married her. I went to Cambodia and dated her for a month to make sure we were compatible first. She refused to have sex on our wedding night. She didn't want to get pregnant and refused to have sex until she was ready. I told her no sex no marriage. She moved back in with my brother across the country. 2 weeks later the cops arrested me for attempted rape on our wedding night. She used this arrest as proof of spousal abuse and got her residency permit that way. It was a long 2 years where my brother finally kicked her out of the house and she ran out of places that would take her in. She married a Mexican immigrant, her Aunt made her, and 9 months later gave birth to their son. She thought he was rich because his family owned a restaurant. He's the bus boy and now she's the pots and pans lady.

I never got reimbursed for bringing her here.


this is what I wanted--> [video=youtube;uknNKuEFMxk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uknNKuEFMxk[/video]

 

Unfortunatley I cannot view videos at work, darn Websense. I will watch when I get home tonight.

But going on that this was not a joke,

So at no point did you think it was a very bad idea to marry a woman you only knew for one month? You pretty much wanted a mail order bride who will stay home and cook and clean for you. She wanted an easy way into the US (and she got it) And somehow, this is the fault of the females? Just because it worked for your brother doesnt mean it would work for you. I am nothing like my sister. So if a guy likes my sister, chances are he will hate me.

Or is this strictly about the fact that she took advantage of you (as stated in this thread that most woman do)..and not about the fact that YOU made a horrible choice in your life?

 

No, it is the fault of the females that I gave up on them and took a mail order bride. If there had been but one worth marrying here (I was 41 years old when I did this) I wouldn't of given it a thought. But I tell you not a single woman in my past would I be willing to live with or married to now. I have no regrets about letting one go. They all were screwed up in one way or another.

Example, my first girlfriend was 14 she arranged a fight between me and another dude. Winner gets the spoils. I decided she didn't like me enough because she didn't care if I got hurt in the fight so I conceded the fight. Less than a year later they had their first kid. When I was 18 and on leave from the army I ran into that guy. They had 3 kids and she was a gogo dancer. He told me he wished I had kicked his ass, his life would've been better. He said she never let him forget it was his fault she lost me. She put him up in many fights and even when he lost refused to let him go. I guess she was too good in bed for him to dump her.

16 year old girl friend. After a close encounter suddenly everybody in her family wanted to kill me. They threatened me etc if I ever went public with what we didn't actually do. I stayed away from her and them but even so they sent her to live with her grandmother in another state. For years I thought it was something I did. Then I found out she had a temper tantrum and wanted to know why is it ok for her to have sex with her step father but not have sex with me. I guess I don't need to say anything more. Now I'm not saying it's her fault, but simply that, that was a situation I would not have wanted to be a part of and got lucky they sent her away instead of entangling me in that mess.

In Germany, when I was 19, there was a couple of IRA guys that came after me with knives because they thought I was my girlfriends pimp. I got a lot of stitches from that event and a transfer. I never did find out why. I still have the scar.

Never found a girl that wasn't already married that was worth marrying. So I said (*)(*)(*)(*) it, it worked for my brother maybe it'll work for me and I married someone for looks and knew she married me for a visa, running water, and a flush toilet. I figured I'll give her what she wants and in return she'll give me what I want. All she knew how to say was "I want this, I want that" She even cooked dinner for herself while I was at work. I looked all over the place for the food. She had put it in the fridge. Didn't think about the fact that I might be hungry. My sister cooked up $100 worth of steaks, she refused to eat and told her sister I was starving her to death. She refused to eat anything I cooked. So I figured fine you cook for both of us then. She didn't. ie. in addition to the 1 month we lived together in Cambodia getting to know one another we lived a month together here in Florida before we got married. I didn't just marry her after she stepped off the plane and expect her to sleep with me on the spot. That would have been unreasonable.

 

There are so many things wrong with this post, but I am going to play along anyway...

Wow...and I thought my dating history sucked lol.

 

In my reality........they are.

 

Well, are you actually appreciating them? Or do you see them as the handyman and bank account? What specifically do you do JUST BECAUSE THE MAN LIKES IT? And I'm not talking about sex.

Judging by behavior:

* a high wage earner who will work night and day to keep his family in a middle-class lifestyle
* a handyman who will fix anything that breaks
* a babysitter who can watch the kids any time that she wants to go out with the girls
* a lawn service
* a protector

Women plan their lives around the fact that once they are married they no longer need to worry about feeding or housing themselves. That's the real truth behind the wage gap. Women shunt themselves into low-stress, low-pay, low-butt-in-seat time careers. The reason is simple, they know that the MAN is supposed to make the money for the family, so they don't need to bust their butts to get high pay. men aren't elementary school teachers because teaching doesn't support a family (at least not as the main income).

feminist women are like that. feminists think they are exactly equal to men and will fight for it ... until it's inconvienient for women. Then they go directly back to pretending to be helpless and needing special protections. Which is why the courts are so screwy on divorce -- the woman is assumed to be too weak to stand up for herself, so she doesn't have to. The man is assumed to be a potential abuser -- to the point that a woman just has to make the accusation and it's Truth. The woman is assumed to be the best child-rearer, so unless you can provide lots of evidence, the woman is always innocent. They want the perks of malehood without any of the hardships -- those hardships are too hard for women, so guys can have them.

The problem is that that's hardly a partnership, which is what a marriage is supposed to be. Women want men around to make their lives easier. They want him to work hard and to fix what breaks and mow the yard. But, she doesn't want to be "subservient" and cook or clean? She wants the man to earn 70% of the household income, but to suggest that he have a say in whether or not it gets spent on stupid stuff rather than investing for college or retirement is "dependence"? Where is that "partnership"? If she's spending her own money out of her own bank account on $1000 dresses, fine. But if that's the case, shouldn't the man get some say over the money he earned? Men contribute the majority of the money, so why is it weird to say that a man should have a say?

Which would be fine if being the breadwinner was OPTIONAL for men. No woman will marry a man who makes less than she does. No woman would be content to let hubby stay home with the kids while SHE worked. Society even looks down on that in general. A man who makes less than his woman is "not a real man". So guys HAVE TO be the main breadwinner.

What's gone wrong is the reciprocity of any such relationship in which the male gets something back for having sacrificed himself on the altar of Corporate Money-grubbing to feed, clothe and house his family. So what exactly are you giving back? What do you give up for your man?

I'll put it another way. You know how America treats returning soldiers. Special helps, preferences in hiring, discounts, free tuition, stuff like that. Why? Well, it's because soldiers sacrifice themselves for years to protect us. So we give them something in return. What do you think would happen if all of those things went away? You sign up, get shipped out to (playing the odds here) Iran, hot desert, see a lot of people get shot in the face, put up with a lot of hardship. Then you come home, and nobody cares whatsoever. You don't get any recognition of the sacrifice, you don't get a discount, you don't get college, you don't get a boost in getting hired. So do you think you'd tell your son to do the same? Risk everything, and not have anyone ever appreciate it or even notice it, get nothing for your trouble -- I think a lot of people would say no thanks. Not so much because they were doing it for the perks, but because it's a lack of respect. Males are in the same place with marriage -- no one appreciates the things they are asked to do for their family, so they start asking themselves what the point is. And really, unless they're going to be respected and appreciated for all of the things they do, there is no point.

I'm all for that. The problem is that the debate and the compromise is on one side only. Men, give up on having a say in how the house is run, where we (read I, the woman) spend the money, but keep on working those long hours. Men, give up the free time you had before marriage to fix the sink and mow the grass, I'm not going to give up my free time to cook, and I'm still going to "girl's night out" 3 times a week. That's not compromise. Compromise only works if both sides give up something they want to get other things. What exactly do women give up? i can't find a single thing.

 

So, you give up because life is hard......and then blame everyone but yourself?


Dude......you do not deserve a good woman......and it seems they know it.

 

The ira dudes accused me of being her pimp before jumping me. I don't know who told them that or why.

Second my brother married her sister first years ago and they are happily married with two kids, both of their mothers living with them in the same house and owning their own business, she took beauty college and he bought her a business. They are working out great he couldn't be happier.

Watch that video and you'll see my expectations.
[video=youtube;uknNKuEFMxk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uknNKuEFMxk[/video]

 

Your reality is a delusion then

 

I heard the same story from a guy at school. He told the judge, how do you expect me to afford this? The judge said, get another job.

My co-worker friend knows a guy who lost his house and bank account. The guy was left homeless. All he had was a suitcase and a car.

And the problem is world wide. My brother live in a another country. The wife cheated on him. He proved it in court. It did not matter. He lost it all, his house, car, bank account. Everything. At the age of 50 he had to start life over again.

My buddy from high school married a Japanese woman. He filed for divorce. He also lost it all. House, car etc etc etc. He is now 40 and start his life over again.

The truth is, men around the world are getting burned. And if you google it, you will learn that men world wide are saying NO to marriage.

For anyone interested in this thread. Look up the "Marriage Strike" It's as thou men all woke up at the same time and decided that marriage is a bad idea.

 

WOW!!! That's really bad. Something needs to be done about that.