Why Men Don’t Want To Get Married

Not really 'men' then, just posers. Anyone can look the part.

Thanks for showing me a new word.

They don't swoon over someone 'because' they're a 'bishonen'. They might do it in spite of it if the guy's enough of an alpha dog deep down, but it sure doesn't help.

 

You never will! Any more than you'll ever replicate that first sunny day when you first tasted a scoop of cold ice cream, or the thrill of beating Final Fantasy for the first time or whatever the hell whippersnappers play these days. Does that mean you stop eating ice cream or playing video games? You make me laugh.

Uh huh. So what happens when two people who like each other are both alone in a room, and each one prefers the other to make the first move? You want me to show up with a coin to flip?

 

Final Fantasy sucks man, totally overrated. Metal Gear Solid on the other hand.

 

Yeah your mindset is the real problem. You need to learn how to develop an Alpha male mindset and learn how to act the part. Read something by Carlos Xuma, or someone - good stuff.

Problem is your mindset is rooted this way of thinking.

 

And I'm telling you that she, and plenty of other girls I've known, dislike them on the basis of their masculine appearance. You know, the same way that many guys wouldn't be attracted to a fat woman on the basis of her appearance.

Haven't you noticed the way girls swoon over girlie pop stars, actors, and Anime characters? "Personally, I swoon over anime characters, but that's just me." This from a thread asking "What do most teenage girls swoon over nowadays, besides JBrothers and Twilight?" You want to see what the Jbrothers look like? Google might help you out, here. The first image I get is this one:



You think those three are just in between gigs as firefighters, hockey players, or professional movers? And if so, can you tell me what kind of flower this is?



Circle correct answer: Rose or Daisy.

- - - Updated - - -

On this we agree completely.

On this we also agree completely.

 

That's not a good comparison. That'd be like saying you know guys who dislike... Megan Fox, or Jennifer Aniston on the basis of their feminine appearance - and prefer crew cut women in combat boots.

They aren't 'girlie', they're 'ladies men', not 'men's men' (or at least their stage persona is, even if they're dorks in real life).

That'd be like saying James Bond is "girlie" because he wears nice clothes.

Plus these are 12-14 year old girls we're talking about. They'd probably feel a little creeped out by some older, 30-40 year old dude. Just like a teenage guy'd probably be more likely to develop a crush on, uh Selena Gomez vs Madonna . But I don't know of many women at all in their 20s or older who still have a crush on Justin Bieber or the Jonas Brothers.

I don't watch anime because I'm not a 12 year old girl, and in my opinion it's made with12 year old girls in mind.

The fact that they're musicians, and have a charismatic persona probably helps. Prince dresses very 'androgynous' but is reportedly a major ladies man - but if the average guy went around dressing like prince it definitely wouldn't be a turn on. On the whole it's definitely not 'attractive' to women - it might not be a deal breaker if the guy has a confident enough personality, but it's not an 'advantage' to dress androgynous.

Who cares?

Appearance isn't really worth a lot anyway in the long run, but trying to argue that women in general are just as likely physically attracted to this:



As they are to this, just isn't true



Ultimately though, for women anyway, physical appearance isn't the biggest part of what creates attraction anyway, so this is kind of silly discussion to begin with.

 

That's a perfect comparison. You're treating women as a monolithic, deindividuated bloc. Women have preferences that vary, probably more than men do. But even in general, women don't prefer masculine features.

Then you don't know what masculinity and femininity are. Look:

http://faceresearch.org/students/masculinity

Perrett et al. (1998 ) investigated the effects of manipulating the masculinity-femininity of male and female faces on judgements of their attractiveness. First, Perrett et al. manufactured composites of male and female faces using computer graphic methods. Next, they used the male and female composites to define a masculinity-femininity continuum and used this continuum to manipulate the masculinity-femininity of male and female faces. In other words, they manufactured versions of male faces in which masculine facial characteristics (e.g. pronounced brow ridges and jaws) were exaggerated and others in which feminine facial characteristics were exaggerated (e.g. large eyes and full lips). Similarly, versions of female faces with exaggerated masculine and feminine facial characteristics were also constructed. The participants in the Perrett et al. study were then shown pairs of masculinised and femininised versions of the same faces and were asked to indicate which version was more attractive. For female faces, both male and female participants demonstrated very strong preferences for the femininised versions of the faces. Intriguingly, however, both male and female participants also preferred the femininised male faces to the masculinised ones. So in both male and female faces, exaggerated feminine characteristics are attractive.

This preference for femininity in male features isn't always found. Some samples have found masculinity is slightly preferred. If you want what I think is the straight dope, you can read Scott et al's Does Masculinity Matter? The Contribution of Masculine Face Shape to Male Attractiveness in Humans, which concludes that "facial morphological masculinity may contribute less to men's attractiveness than previously assumed. Our results are consistent with the hypothesis that current condition is more relevant to male mate value than past disease resistance, and hence that temporally fluctuating traits (such as colour) contribute more to male attractiveness than stable cues of sexual dimorphism."

No, look at their jaws, lips, and gracile frames. I know it's hard since you have trouble discriminating between roses and daisies, but those of us with fully functioning retinas can see it.

What, you don't dig Robotech? Blind and don't know what cool is.

Since you are blind, you probably didn't notice pretty boy's puppy dog eyes, full lips, and narrow jaw. He's more masculine (and better looking) than that goth, but he's no John Elway.

 

There is always this to consider if males starting getting those crazy thoughts about marriage:

California ex-wife sentenced for cutting off husband's penis

Los Angeles (CNN) -- A southern California woman convicted of cutting off the penis of her then-husband and throwing it into a garbage disposal was given a life sentence Friday with the possibility of parole after seven years, authorities said.

http://www.cnn.com/2013/06/28/justice/california-penis-knifing/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

 

Mostly because judges can and do ignore them! Any man who gets married in any case except to a rich widow or heiress is a fool. There is a tremendous downside and basically no upside. (Note: I have been happily married for 17 years.)

If it floats, flies, or f***s, it's probably cheaper to rent by the hour!

 

Who are you, so wise in the ways of science?

 

John Elway's lover.

Oh yeah. We had a thing.

 

omg!

(I think I messed up that quote.)

Welcome to this site.

 

lol...love the smart-ss comment.

Let me just say... I have no feeling about marriage one way or the other. I did it once and it lasted for 1.5 years. If I find a guy who I want to marry, then great. If I find a guy who I want to live in sin with for the rest of my life, great too! My complaint was that the article was placing all the blame on the woman. It was very one sided. I think the thing that is wrong with these generations it that everyone has a sense of entitlement. Its all about me, me , me. "If I do this, what are you going to do for me?"

Not all woman are out to get you and make you subservient to them.

I actually WANT a guy who is the GUY in the relationship. I make the decisions every day in my work life. I want a guy who will give me his opinion or do what is best for the family. I tend to make more than the guys that I am attracted to (blue collar, work with your hands, get dirty type)..and it has never been in an issue. Men make it an issue. I have been raising a child for 14 years on my own, have a good career and am very independant. I think I scare most men away for that reason. Men tend to pick the woman that need to depend on them for everything...then when divorce comes, the woman ask (and yes, usually get) for what you have let them become accustomed to (i.e. you paying for everything)

I actually was talking to a guy the other day who asked me on a date. He was talking about his last relationshipo that he was in for 5 years. He was telling me that when he first met her she stole his car. He took her back and bought her her own car. She cheated on him. He took her back because she had no place to live. She started using drugs. Yep, he took her back and paid for rehab. I asked him at what point did he start seeing the huge red flags that told him this woman was bad news. "She was hot". Yep, stop using the lower half of you to do your thinking.

Anyhoo - Everyone is not goingt o be happy all the time. But not all men suck...and not all woman suck. Be happy with yourself and everything else will fall into place.

 

It's not man's problem that they're the physically stronger sex, blame it on nature.

Thankfully not many, I can't think of anything more emasculating.
From where I sit, I feel lucky that blacks and women are such forgiving souls.

Then you need to in a padded cell or jail cell for the good of society.

Not really, both women and blacks only have the rights they have today because of the generosity of white men. White men had no obligation to give them said rights, but did so out of generosity.

 

so the topic. its not only the guys. I can't emphasize how much I would never get married again.
I could talk about why women don't want to get married, what's not to like about men in relationships but I know I don't represent all women so it would be a comment about why I don't want to get married, which would be fascinating, I'm sure.

So it looks like the current conservative movement on this message board is anti-marriage but at the same time fighting for it.
Why should they care if they think same sex marriage is threatening to heterosexual marriage or marriage is supposed to be about procreation?They aren't interested in being a father or a husband. Why are they upset about abortion? They want to be fathers?
Why do they talk so much about single parent (mom) unmarried households? Guys aren't in them they should be happy.
Same sex marriage keeps heterosexual men out of the picture they should be happy about that too.


They are for family but only if it looks photoshop traditional perfect. 'the party of responsibility' says it's all the feminists fault that men aren't interested in getting married or being a father. So what changes do they want to undo that feminists have made?

I wonder where do they see themselves in the picture they are trying to create for everyone in American family life? What are they fighting for in reality? Do they have to change everyone's relationships and families to their satisfaction before they can figure that out? Do they have to take women into the dark age before they think American families can be graced with their caveman presence in the household? NO thank you.
You can't be a selfish controlling brute and be focused on family happiness. It's never worked that way. Families succeed because the parents work together. They make compromises; that's any relationship including business. Today's conservatives are against that (which is one of the many reasons why I could never vote Republican.)

The posts from left leaning guys, and also who I know in real life appear to be the majority of men who are strong on family values these days, not opposed to working with the mother of their kids (married or not) and don't constantly claim how inferior other relationships are or blame women for all their problems, but they don't politicize it so maybe that's why they don't get credit for it. Good things are happening for families but if you don't do some ugly bragging and get it on TV, it doesn't exist in politics or message boards

 

The statement that it is a bunk of sad sacks on this message board is not true.

Google the "Marriage Strike". It's real. The US has the highest number of singles every. Last number I saw is that only 72% of men want to get married. The means that almost a quarter of the male population does not want to get married. That's a lot.

 

As long as men/women aren't out here making a bunch of 'unplanned' or 'unwanted' babies... I'm not concerned that some do not wish to marry.

Really, it isn't like the Earth's population is getting too small... or that people don't love one another deeply outside of marriage.

 

The crazy thing is that most babies are unplanned and unwanted. The only difference is that in a marriage there's a better foundation for having kids. Traditionally, all the in-laws showed up for a wedding, everybody recognized the union, and there's a sense that you'll look like morons if you just break up. So there's social support and a personal commitment to the relationship. Kids benefit from that.

 

Well, that isn't a massive problem in the gay community; that's for sure.

But, I think it is time for heterosexuals to zoom out and examine their own values. Now, I understand that we've all been more socially traumatized over "homosexuality" (and all the stuff that came with it) but seriously, it is surely time for people to know whatever it takes, to not just make 'babies' unplanned. The Earth can't handle all that we can do to it (and also sustain us); it is a finite system. People need to be smarter about that period.

And I know that marriage (for those so inclined) can be a GREAT thing (and not only for people with children). Even so, I think we are better off with a bunch of people remaining single, than people getting married and experiencing divorce-after-divorce.

Really, DIVORCE is a part of that whole "marriage" equation, but I won't pretend to know exactly how it factors in to 'men' not wanting to get married.