Breaking up with someone who is in love with you?

when you referred to the 'dirty deed' I thought you meant you had sex. I don't know what other dirty deed that could refer to in the context of the conversation. If you have not had sex with her, I commend you. And your breakup should not cause her too much damage other than the damage to her feelings.

 

I haven't had sex with you.

 

Geesh, get a room U2

 

Damnit.... I didn't mean to say that.

 

you should be so lucky.

 

just tell your boyfriend you found someone else..he will understand

 

The drama never stops. Connecting my friends and family.... classy.

 

Sucks to be you. Best way is just to be a dick for 2 years until they leave if you don't want to break their heart all at once. Other then that, good luck.

 

It's too late they have been led on, its best to put them out of their misery early though, because that will leave more time for healing. Been on both sides of this.

 

Any new updates on this?

 

Based on the facts the dude gave in this story - the relationship was pretty much doomed from the get-go, and I think his interest in these types of relationships is unhealthy and kind of on the narcissistic side

Wolvie basically admitted that the person wasn't 'on the same level as him' (ex. sheltered, ultra-religious, suffers from emotional problems, etc) - in a real relationship the other party has to be on the same level as you all around the board (aka a peer) - or else the relationship is one-sided and not on equal footing, and that's not a healthy or functional relationship.

If the relationship had gone on, it would've been more or less the equivalent of a creepy therapist screwing his patient - not a normal 'boyfriend/girlfriend' pr 'husband/wife' relationship - that's not on "him" per se, since most of the problems were on her end (according to his side of the story) - but if he knew all of this getting into the relationship, and did it anyway, then it is on his end to an extent.

If you're looking for a meaningful relationship - you need to find someone's who's on the same level as you - mentally, emotionally, IQ-wise - etc - if you knowingly enter a relationship with someone who isn't - then that's bad because you're basically destining it for disaster (ex. hurting their feelings) in the long run, and also seem to desire a relationship where you're the one with most of the 'control' due to your "upper hand" in the areas I mentioned above.

 

Offer him to stay friend maybe. Don't smash yourself by staying in this relation.

 

Your correct , but as I stated no matter what he does at this point the other person will almost certainly not take it very well and might promise to change or get help be "Better" you know it's those people who rarely let go easily to then be "friends" ...I've been thru it myself...

 

I tried to be friends, however she was still too clingy. Which is bearable. I can ignore the phone or whatever. Everything was cool until:

"You know, I was accepting of your brother [being gay], even though it went against my beliefs..."

"I wanted to say something about your brother and your boyfriend [being gay] when they came over, but I didn't out of respect for you..."

I do not entertain the company of anyone who views being a decent human being to my brother as a violation of their beliefs.

If a wayfarer fails to find
One better or equal,
Steadfast he should fare alone
For there is no fellowship in a fool.
- Dhammapada 61

- - - Updated - - -

"He" is a she, and I am a dude. lol

 

A wise policy. There was a time when I would have been totally on her side, thinking the same way she is about gays. Perhaps she, too, will one day get beyond the poisonous religion. She must find the inner strength to admit what she knows in her heart to be true, and what she knows to be false...

 

I would wager against it.

 

Well, you (and I) are stuck with an external perspective. We can't see what's going on in her noodle. Only time will tell, in the end.

 

True. However there is a saying: Can't fix stupid.

 

I would say that stupid can fix itself, i.e. from within. The saying is right in that there is no external fix.