I was a bit sick today... so I spent the day at home. It is strange the ideas and thoughts that pop into your mind at such times. Perhaps the removal of the mundane routine, frees us up mentally for a bit of clarity from time to time... At any rate, I found myself thinking about conversations I had with people in the past. Some of the more important ones. And the thing that I discovered is that sometimes almost trivial conversations can have dramatic effects on your life, and the shaping of yourself as an individual. Sometimes in ways you never really thought about. Perhaps in a breif bout of illness, I have touched on one of those moments for myself.... I can clearly remember being about 17 years old.... and working at a summer job at a radio shack in NYC. The only job I have EVER held, where I actually needed to get dressed up nice, just to make minmum wage. The boss was a real jerk... and at the end of the summer he took me aside for what he thought would be a very important conversation for me. He asked me about plans for college, said it was not too important either way. But that the most important thing that I needed to understand... was that I needed to learn my "limitations". I remember being completely confused by that. And he went on to say something like ,"Well I mean really.... you are just a kid from Queens... it is not like you are going to go on to do anything great... I mean look at me.... I put in my dues... and now I am the manager of this radio shack." I can remember as though it were only yesterday, even though 20+ years have passed since then. And I turned to this manager (strange I do not remember his name), and I told him.... "Hmmm... you know.... maybe YOU have limitations.... I don't have any limitations... I can do anything..." There was no anger or malice in my voice... just a certain matter of fact attitude about it. And he got angry with me... more angry than I had seen him that whole summer. And back then... I could not really understand why..... Only years later, maybe a decade or so after, did I realize that he was not angry with me... he was angry at himself! He had placed upon himself self created chains. Ones that he had convinced himself that he could never escape from... so he never tried... and he never did escape. And here I was... all of 17.... and refused to accept those chains on myself. How DARE I claim that I could do better than he had! He was angry because I suddenly reminded him of all the things he would never do... and never become. And he absolutely hated me... because I think now, that he knew I probably would achieve things.... And that gave him mental pain beyond reason. Maybe that conversation had more effect on me than I thought. Maybe I was never really concious of it.... but perhaps that challenge running in the back of my mind is what lit the fire in me, to achieve the things that I have with my life. It is that rebellious spark.... that I never seem to loose. I have no doubt that manager from so many years ago, died doing the same job he was doing while I was there, a job he clearly hated. While I have gone on to do so much more than he could have ever imagined. I wonder if he ever thought about that rebellious teenager and what happened to him.... guess I will never know. But what I WOULD like to know, is of other conversations people have had here in the forums. Conversations that inspired you... that molded or shaped you a bit... maybe in ways that you never thought of.... maybe take a minute and think about it. It might be worth your while, and I would love to hear the stories. Pehaps others would too....
