Are people who choose not to have children selfish?

There is a stigma in society that the only truely fulfilling life is to grow up, find a spouse, and create more humans.

Couples who dont, especially women, are stigmatized by society often times for choosing to live child free, most of the time considered "selfish"

 

There is a lot of stupid in society, and thinking people who don't want to have kids are being selfish is a great example of it.

 

In a way yes, they are being selfish, but I'm not sure that's a bad thing. If you would rather work in a cubicle for 40 years in order to self actualize rather than raising a family, then you probably shouldn't be raising a family. Go ahead and work and vacation rather than screwing up an innocent kid's life.

 

One could also say that it's selfish to contribute to overpopulation just because having children brings you personal pleasure.

Why bother condemning others in the first place?

Thanks,

 

Not more selfish than most actions. Most people do what they want, on balance, weighing the pros and cons or just doing what they feel like doing without a lot of actual thought. I'm against most judgmental thinking as it's unproductive and usually unfair.

I do think that becoming a parent often makes one feel less selfish because it changes you so profoundly (usually at least, we've all observed exceptions). No longer is the scariest thing in life your own death or suffering. Now this other person's well-being becomes more important than your own. Feeling that kind of love compared to how you were before becoming a parent makes your prior self and childless people seem selfish... but really this drive to be this way about our kids is just how parents are supposed to be to give the next generation a good chance.

The thing about becoming a parent is... it's rarely an informed choice. The way it changes you is hard to anticipate. People may not become parents because they think they'd be bad at it or that the world doesn't need more people - which doesn't seem like selfish reasoning. They may decide not to do it because they do view themselves as too selfish - only to find that if it does happen they no longer feel that way.

 

Most people have children so childless people may feel "apart" and values may differ from the norm but I don't think it has to do with peoples attitudes towards them.

My favorite Aunt was childless from choice and during an age when children were really expected. She certainly was not selfish ...she was everyone's favorite aunt.

 

I know so many people and couples personally that choose not to have children but I have never heard anyone call them selfish for making that choice. Maybe they think so and choose not to share. I certainly would never think a woman is being selfish for not having children. If I am guilty of anything it is sometimes thinking people have children without considering all of the circumstances. Still I would never tell someone not to have children. That is their choice and no business of mine at all.

 

If you are someone who believes a woman's function is to produce babies then maybe you think she is being selfish not fulfilling her reason in life.

 

I guess it all depends on WHY they elect not to have children. I personally don't want to have any but I haven't gotten the snip snip yet. I just do not have patience for kids so think i could easily end up becoming physically aggressive with them so it is better I just don't have any. I suppose one could say that is selfish on my part for not wanting to end up in prison.

 

No, they aren't being selfish. To each his own. For me a life with a family including children is a blessing. Life without wife, children, and grandchildren would be unfulfilling.

 

where they gonna get the money if they have children, most parents still need to work 40 hours a week

 

.....on the other hand, if a woman becomes pregnant and it comes down to either her career or a child and she chooses an abortion, couldn't that be considered selfish?

 

I'm not arguing people who don't want children should have them; I already said they shouldn't. So if they are not having kids they don't need to worry about the money to raise them.

 

I was commenting on this "If you would rather work in a cubicle for 40 years in order to self actualize rather than raising a family"
as in either way you may have to work 40 hours a week - unless a women finds a rich man

 

Well that was a point about women choosing to not have children because of their "career." It's there choice, but on that account, it's an exceedingly dumb one.

 

No.

First, being selfish is not a sin, or a moral failing, or wrong....it is how humans have survived.

If you bring children into the world without asking them if they want to be brought into the world that is quite selfish...you are doing what you want without the input of those you are affecting. You are doing what you want to do...being selfish

NOT having children isn't selfish, it doesn't include anyone in your wanting what you want.

NO ONE IS OBLIGED TO HAVE CHILDREN.

Women do NOT owe the world children

 

Is it "dumb" for men?

...and why do you think it's "dumb"?

 

So what if it is?

No more "selfish" than having a kid who didn't ask to be born for your own needs or wants...

 

Sadly there are some morons from the dark ages who still think a ""woman's function is to produce babies"".

 

In a overpopulated, polluted and chaotic world, no.
Have mercy on mother Earth.

 

You know, I might have given this some serious thought and given you a more thought out reply, but after seeing your reply to @Turin , that hardly seems necessary.

Now what am I to make of that? "If you bring children into the world without asking them if they want to be brought into the world that is quite selfish."

It sounds like your position is that it is inherently immoral to have children, since of course you cannot get prior consent to making them...

I can only hope you have taken your own advice and adhered to your own "morality." I can't imagine someone with these kind of ideas having children.

 

FoxHastings said: ↑
No.

First, being selfish is not a sin, or a moral failing, or wrong....it is how humans have survived.

If you bring children into the world without asking them if they want to be brought into the world that is quite selfish...you are doing what you want without the input of those you are affecting. You are doing what you want to do...being selfish

NOT having children isn't selfish, it doesn't include anyone in your wanting what you want.

NO ONE IS OBLIGED TO HAVE CHILDREN.

Women do NOT owe the world children

I see you didn't either read or comprehend what I posted:

First, being selfish is not a sin, or a moral failing, or wrong....it is how humans have survived.

Is bigger easier to read ??


And why the insult? Why are you so defensive?

 

I comprehended just fine, didn't insult you, and expected that you would avoid the issue of what you wrote which is what you did. Again:

"If you bring children into the world without asking them if they want to be brought into the world that is quite selfish."

So... does that mean it's never OK to bring children into the world? That's what it sounds like.

 

No, I guess bigger wasn't better so try this again:

First, being selfish is not a sin, or a moral failing, or wrong....it is how humans have survived.

,

Yes, " I can't imagine someone with these kind of ideas having children.""

Again : being selfish is not a sin, or a moral failing, or wrong....it is how humans have survived.

A very illogical conclusion...and shows the depth of misunderstanding...

 

I take it that you are never going to respond to my query? If you refuse to explain your statement, "If you bring children into the world without asking them if they want to be brought into the world that is quite selfish," what's the point of replying at all? I never said anything about selfishness being a sin, moral failing, or wrong, so what point are you trying to make other than you refuse to explain your comments?