Ask a straight white female anything.

You're damn right those babies, toddlers are a full time job and even when the kids get in school and no one can do the job better than a loving mother who WANTS to be w/her kids. No paycheck can replace that time of nurturing and building memories and being there when your child is sick and all the rest of real mothering. No employer could need a mother more than her own children do.........

 

Not every job can allow you to bring your baby to work. Teachers being one of them.

I have two sons. I get the part about alimony and child support in the case of a divorce. I agree there are women who are lazy and won't work. But there are many who don't fit that description who are stay at home moms.

Being a stay at home mom is so much more than housework. I'm sorry your education didn't teach you that. Some put more importance on being home to raise kids that having a career during those years. Simple as that.

My daughter in law is currently a stay at home mom. I am thankful my son sees the value in her staying home. But he's not from an uppity family that won't allow people in their lives who are not educated or who views a woman working as more important than one who doesn't.

 

Who will you be voting for in this presidential election? We see and hear poll numbers, what does this straight white woman plan to do?


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I didn't suggest that every person can bring their child to work. I realize that I was lucky and that working hard at my career paid dividends that not everyone gets. But I also know that companies are becoming more and more family friendly and will continue to do so ...particularly due to women getting educated, entering the workforce and becoming invaluable. I realize that some women would have to cut working hours or work flex hours until their kids are in school to be able to work full-time.

lol...And my family is uppity about men too. We aren't gender biased in my family. My daughter's know better to bring home a guy who's uneducated, won't work and wants to financially leech off of them. And we don't consider education and working hard being uppity...we consider that respectable.

Funny enough, I don't know any people raising girls who are telling them not to bother getting educated and learn job skills...and suggesting that they just sit around and wait for some guy to come along and take care of them. And that's because its irresponsible not to have the means to take care of yourself. And its doubly irresponsible not to have the ability to financially take care of your children.

Then you're not a financial dependent and are able to contribute. Most people do that by working but if you've found other means...good for you, that's admirable.

However, I find the double standard that its ok for women to be financially irresponsible and adult dependents absolutely ridiculous. And when I see women who do this and then whine about being broke when their husband leaves them...I have zero sympathy. I do, however, feel sorry for their children...they are the true victims of this mentality.

 

our rich corporate masters have their own cooks while they profit from two working parents who contribute to the broken family unit, since moms have less time at home and need more time at work to make the rich richer in order to meet their own living expenses.

we need to bring back the old christian values to our country, where women were submissive and reaped rewards from men for their loyalty.

 

Very well put.

 

That's nice and SAHM's are very capable of teaching their children the same thing........

All parents have their value system & priority list and obviously for the SAHM's, their children come first b/c they know the child needs HER, not a baby sitter or day care......but MOMMA! That bonding, the nurturing is so important during those formative yrs and no amount of $$$ can replace it.

But, of course, to each their own.........

 

or, increase the minimum wage to fifteen dollars an hour.

 

We have superior tennis players too but that does not mean we punish the tennis players by chopping down their score.

These diatribes against the rich need to be temperate.

Good is good. The rich are very good at earning an income. Ask Oprah Winfrey to explain how she came from poverty to enormous wealth. With an income to keep Donald Trump gasping.

 

No...Well if you actually are interested in the guy then it is ok I guess. But when its nothing more than "oh he's shy lets make him uncomfy" it is not very nice at all.

Loalz.

Again, nothing wrong at all, but I feel girls sometimes when they notice a guy is shy will be extremely flirtatious with him for no other purpose than making him uncomfortable. Even if they are not even interested in him!

Shy guys are the easiest creatures on Earth to scare off.

Thanks for the answers anyways.

 

They probably just think you're cute and sweet!

 

"Oh, but it is so cute and just too adoreble!" Is quite a sadistic reaction to someone's discomfort.

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Heeeeeeey! Who said this was about me?

 

Which would you choose if your guy offered to take you on a site seeing tour of some big city you'd never been to - ya know, like NYC or SF as examples - for a week, or for a week on a boating, fishing, camping trip on ... oh ... let's just say some beautiful place like, for example, the Snake River between Oregon and Idaho?

View attachment 44054

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By coincidence, I just happened to have a couple of pics of that area!

 

My kids need both me and their father. They also need to know both of us have the ability to take care of all their needs...including their financial ones.

I find it interesting that people that talk about the needs of children don't recognize that fathers are needed too. My kids had me everyday...and because I helped my husband with the financial burden...they had him too. He was critical to the women they've become/are becoming.

As I said, I nursed both of my children everyday. No one raised them but me and my husband. And yet, I still taught them that adult women should have the responsibility not to be financial dependents.

And by the way, money is a requirement for raising children. Ask the millions of children living in poverty because they have mothers who haven't been responsible for their financial needs.

 

So true. I have a daughter who doesn't cook and a son who does. Both are exceptionally talented individuals and both have lucrative professional careers. I have been a professional woman most of my life, but we were blessed to be able to raise our kids in small towns where everybody parented everybody's kids and I was able to be a full time mother when that was needed.

There isn't really any stereotype that fits us all. I am pretty traditional when it comes to relishing being a woman. I like for the man to help me out of the car and open the door for me and escort me though I am perfect capable of doing that for myself. And I let him be a guy as stereotypical of a guy as he wants to be and don't expect him to think like I do, emote like I do, or express himself in the same way I do. And he allows me to be me. Which, in addition to respect, is what all of us most need from our significant other when you really get down to it.

I have learned to not expect him to over analyze ever little nuance of a word or phrase and understand that he isn't being dense or insensitive when he does not. And he has learned that sometimes I just need him to hear me out when I'm angry or frustrated and that he isn't expected to fix whatever is wrong.

I am a good cook though. Him not so much but he does pitch in in a pinch. But usually when it is his 'night to cook', that's when we get take out.

 

No where did I say the father wasn't important - of course he is.

The world I grew up in, parenting is the heaviest responsibility of all and when you bring a child into this world, there's a commitment you make to that child....at least there should be. I was working when I got pg and husband said my job was to be at home w/her and he'd earn the $$$. That was our arrangement and it worked out well..... and he never ONCE made me feel I wasn't 'doing my share' or that finances were more important than me and/or our kids.

Sometimes a person has to give up something in order to get something. In our case, we gave up another paycheck in order to have our children and their momma stay home w/them,....you can't put a price on that.....well yeah, I guess you could.

Anyway, my kids grew up in the traditional, stable home where their mother was home baking apple pie and taking them to the park while their father was working and came home after work like good fathers do and it was family time......and they grew up to be very stable and responsible adults. Our mother/father roles worked for us just like it did for millions of other American families....wouldn't have had it any other way.

 

I would take the camping trip. I hate big cities.

 

I avoid big cities like the freakin plague. Good choice!

 

Same here. My youngest daughter and hubby wants me to go to Vegas w/them.....no way in hell! I see nothing appealing about masses of people and their noise, bumper to bumper traffic and more noise......barf! I'm a nature nut........

 

When I was younger I would too. Loved the camp out scene. But these days I would opt for the big city tour following by a romantic dinner at a great restaurant, and later a hot shower and clean sheets on a good bed. Our priorities do sometimes change over time.

 

lol...What makes you think that working moms don't take their kids to the park or bake pies? We're vegans so I cook almost every single day. Working moms do all that stuff and don't leave their husbands to handle the financial burden by themselves. There is nothing that SAHMs do that working moms don't do every single day. They just also believe they have an adult responsibility not to push the financial commitment for themselves and their children onto just the male spouse. Being female didn't give me special privileges not to be responsible for myself and my children.

And I'm not just a mother...I'm also a wife. And my husband is my best friend and truly my partner in life. My kids are getting older...one of them has already started her career and is out of our home. And they last thing I would have ever done to him is force him to work all day while I didn't do my fair share to help. We've been lucky enough to have very lucrative careers but if he had gotten laid off or sick, I would have been able to pick up any slack for our family. There are so many families that get into severe financial circumstances because they force all the financial burden onto the male spouse who loses their job or can't work for some reason. And because he didn't have to work long hours to fill in for my financial irresponsibility, he was able to spend lots of time with our girls. His time with them is as valuable as mine has been. He's not just a financial slave to me...he's a critical part of my life and my kids' lives. I would never use him that way. I loved that when our kids were younger they got off the bus to me AND their dad depending on which days we worked out.

Plus I can't imagine how hard it would be for us to relate to each other if I did nothing all day but stay home. Our careers and parenting our children together have given us a a shared burden and common ground. We've never had a marital issue of any kind and we never argue or have conflict. I have absolute respect for my husband and the contributions he makes to our family and I know he feels the same way about me.

This isn't just about money...although money has allowed us to put our oldest through medical school, live with zero debt and help others who haven't been as fortunate as we have. This is about the fact that as an adult and a wife...I have the same responsibility and duty as my husband does. Being female doesn't grant me special privileges. My vagina isn't a magical device that grants me the right to sit around all day long while my kids are at school. My husband would never treat me that way...why would it be ok for me to do that to him?

I was taught from a very young age that adult people should be financially responsible for themselves. I would never teach my girls that it was ok to sit around for a man to leech off of financially. My girls are proud of what I do for a living...they tell me that all the time. My oldest daughter gave a speech for a scholarship award she won and spend a long part of it, in tears, talking about the role model I was for her and how thankful she was. If you told my kids...or a lot of other working mom's kids...that their moms don't provide for all their needs, I guarantee you that you'd find out EXACTLY how wrong you are.

Again, I think more of women than you do and think they have more contributions to make to their families and the world than you do. I don't limit women to only gender roles...I believe they have at least the same capabilities that men do. And as a grown woman...being an adult financial dependent is simply not something I would ever be ok with. And if you believe you're a better mother than any working mom because that's what you do...as I said, I don't agree. And the millions of women and children living in poverty because of that attitude prove my point for me.

Anyway, last post on this for me. Thanks for confirming the reason why I don't have any friends that aren't career moms...lol.

 

Oh good gawd.....ok! ok! We all get it.....you're a perfect woman, wife, mother and employee......geeees!

And I never said I was a 'better mother than any working mom". If you'd read the posts, you'd see I had said I went back to work full-time when my youngest was 10, working for the state and continued to work until I retired.

Where do you get the idea that you think more of women than I do? You had said you don't have any friends who aren't 'career women'....meaning those not working are out of your 'class'...barf!

Anyway, I think you've posted enuf about your $, your career, your ....everything. Give it a break..........Bye!

 

I still like camping after allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll these years. Fishing for young lake trout, and cooking them on the campfire, hiking in the wilderness. I'm post-spring chicken but I'm still a 'tomboy'. My son and his fiancé are going to Europe for their honeymoon. I would rather take a motorhome up the Alaskan/Canadian Highway. One could spend two weeks doing that. There are so many pretty places to see; and Alaska is beautiful--as long as one doesn't run into Sarah Palin.

 

Yep. I can't stand casinos. You're right about the noise from the slot machines (ding, ding, ding, ding), the cigarette smoke, the hordes of people. Doesn't sound too relaxing to me. Getting away from the hordes is always my vacation destination.

 

Oh sorry. I just assumed you were talking about yourself.