Bake (verb)

When I am King, I will outlaw the word "bake." It means:

1.
to cook (food) by dry heat without direct exposure to a flame, typically in an oven or on a hot surface.

Unfortunately, "bake" has come to mean, and to mean only, "cooking bread and pastries."

Women here in Texas will say, with a big smile, "I'm going to bake this weekend."

Me: "What, like a chicken?"

She: "NO! BREAD. AND PIES!!!"

Me: "Oh, sorry for committing a war crime. Have you never heard of a baked chicken?"

She (nervous): "Yes."

Me: "How about a baked potato?"

She: "Oh yes. Sure."

Me: "Well, how was I supposed to know you were baking bread and pastry?"

She: "Because everybody knows what baking is."

Me: "Well why don't you go bake a stupid potato or a chicken and stop hassling me?"

She: "Well, I declare (shakes head sorrowfully) ... I'm BAKING for my CHURCH group. And I'm taking some to my maw maw."

All the other blue haired ladies gather round and, arms folded, and nod in solidarity, isolating me, the bad guy who doesn't understand what "baking" means to the church group and her maw maw.

I'm keeping a list of these ladies, and there will one day be a reckoning ....

 

My guess is that you're baked.

 

Granny says bake her a cake.

 

Stay out of my threads, troll.

 

I like cake. I can even bake cakes. I just resent how pastry and breads have usurped the word.

 

You don't 'bake' a chicken, you roast it!