Emotionally Unstable Speaker Boehner Sobs Through Ceremony

There is, believe it or not, less wrong with John Boehner than with any other member of his party that I've seen so far.

The reason he is spontaneously bursting into tears is because he was raised as a god-fearing christian. He knows the lessons of his Bible. He knows about the punishment for hypocrites. He knows about all the dire warnings of the sins of greed, lust and ...I forgot the rest...but trust me, he knows.

He is the most beautiful and perfect example of display of a man whose soul is in deep trouble. He is on the brink. He is poised on the edge of an abyss and he darn well knows it. Most men whose souls are near the end have no idea. To them it's just another day. The anesthetic of their devil's voice is so smooth and its job done so slowly and so completely over many years that a good temptor has a victim completely unaware at the very end.

Not our buddy John Boehner though. Those tears are coming from a crack in the fortress that other republicans have built six feet thick around their hearts. Poor little Johnny Boehner is in his mind somewhere still back sweeping the floor of his father's tavern, vowing to get into politics to help, not hurt people. Little Johnny Boehner never envisioned for his future that he would be one of the most powerful men responsible for destroying the US with the seven deadly sins.

This isn't what he planned. And he wakes up every day knowing that. His soul can still be saved. All it would take is him to embrace his tears and for the public to encourage him to keep shedding them. Eventually the soul of a good man when bent too far will snap back and face the eroding forces that took it down.

Say a little prayer for him, if you pray, or a mantra or whatever.

Say, it's almost black Friday which means the christmas season. I think I'll post last year's e x-mas card since we're on the topic:

 

I think the left should lay off Boehner, or at the very least vocally support his tears. They're a sign that he is still alive. They're a sign he isn't a complete monster..