How best to support the elderly during lock-down?

I have a friend who looks after an elderly woman in a senior living environment. It's INDEPENDENT living, NOT assisted living.

Her client is VERY depressed because she wants to meet with her neighbors for coffee talk. She doesn't like talking on the phone so she won't take that suggestion. She also doesn't like having to put her requests in writing (a new policy given the social distancing rules). She gets Meals on Wheels so she has *some* contact with others, but she's working herself into a frenzy not being able to go out and is becoming despondent.

Are any of you dealing with this with elderly family members or friends?

How do you best support them during this time?

What more can we do other than check in on them?

 

I don’t really know. My mom passed away last December from dementia at the assisted living facility where she lived. So I think a lot about what her and my life would be like now if she was living. I’ve thought about calling and talking to random residents but just haven’t. Your post is a kick in the *ss, I’ll give it a try this week.

Is the person you are referencing capable of Skype or Zoom or anything? Her circle of friends could do that. Sorry man, that’s all I’ve got...

Great thread idea. I hope others chime in with better ideas than mine.

 

Sorry for your loss.

I will suggest Skype or Zoom, but I doubt she would know how to do that. She is still using a flip phone. Not anything wrong with that, just saying she doesn't really surf the net.

Thanks for your reply.

 

I understand your position, as I have an elderly friend in assisted living and it is locked down. I believe, personally, that the best way the elderly could be helped is to treat them with respect and let them make the decision. Considering my friend is 94 years old, and has a relatively short time left no matter how you slice it, she would most likely take the risk, in order to have her family and friends visit and be able to see her great granddaughter. They too should have the choice. Quality of life.

 

I saw some photos of an enclosed box outside a window at a nursing home so family could "visit" and see one another. I thought it was a great idea.

I, too, wish for your friend to have a chance to see her family and they all can figure out a way to do that.

 

I understand the sentiment, but somehow it struck me as sad.

 

I felt the same way, but seeing the joy on the resident's faces when they saw their relatives was so beautiful. It's not the ideal setup but we all are trying to figure out how to work around this and keep ourselves and everyone else safe (and sane!).

 

Appreciate the condolences.

I know a lot of people aren’t comfortable with or set up for things like zoom etc. I think facilities should assist but the staff probably don’t have the time.

@Bridget makes a good point about people in homes being willing to risk infection for time with someone they love. They don’t have years to wait around till things straighten out and many of them are tired of living in a care home anyway. Maybe we need C19 free homes and open facilities for those that choose. With end of life directives, DNR’s etc. in order I think it could be better than what we have now.

 

why don't they do like the White House does, just test everyone daily, it's how we treat the elderly old man in the White House

 

I was dealing with this before Corona. My other half is twice my age and we have been together over a decade. In 2017 she had a botched surgery (they "forgot" to give her antibiotics) 9 days later she was smoking some herbage and had a coughing fit, her incision started going "drip drip"


Well, long story short...she was in the ICU for 12 days between life and death, massive brain infection, plus huge abdominable infection. Shortly after, she had a disabling stroke.

And before this, she fell of a swamp buggy 23 years ago and lost her leg above the knee (long before we met)

After the stroke, she lost her ability to move about, by herself. Has broken two bones, trying it.

But life is good and somewhere, others have it worse.

 

Of course.

I suspect the problem with a loved one being willing to take the risk is that it puts staff members and other residents at risk also. Plus, I've been wondering if schools are going to open this Fall, they may need to test all the staff and faculty regularly.

Some things on my mind...

• Would there be enough tests available for that volume of testing for seniors and the kids, staff and faculty and anyone around them?
• Are we developing enough tests and masks here in the US to accommodate the needs of the general public and medical staff?
• How long are we expected to just hang in limbo?

Just about ANYTHING would be better than how they are now. We've had about six months to get up to speed and it doesn't look like we're any closer to a truly workable solution for any of it. I cannot begin to imagine a second wave when we aren't free from the first one.

 

My guess is us mere mortals are third tier - (1) White House, (2) medical staff, (3) general public.

 

I credit weed with saving her bacon, had that infection gone unchecked just a while longer...

 

It sounds like she's quite the trooper and you are her rock. That's a beautiful thing. It just goes to prove "it's not how many times you fall, but how many times you get up.". Thanks for sharing.

 

I will lay down my life if anyone gives her a hard time. She is my rock and she keeps on, keeping on. Her resilience inspires me.
Life is tough and life is rough, but life is beautiful, even as we have to watch those we love, die around us.

 

My boy has a cancer or tumor in his head (according to the vet) He had his first nosebleed on November 5th.

If they both leave my life at the same time, I might nut up. He has developed a lump on his nose. We make the best of each day. Tomorrow is not assured to you.

 

That’s why I would set up open facilities separate from closed facilities. Maybe you couldn’t find willing employees, but from what I know about the “caring quality” of people who worked at the assisted living place my mom was at, I don’t think that would be a problem.

As far as schools go, it probably depends on the state/local area. I expect schools here to open in the fall with little fanfare. We are basically in a trial run now as kids are interacting a lot through livestock shows, rodeo, and other activities. The more urban parts of the state will probably have more trouble. I don’t interact with many people but the general sentiment seems to be just carry on. There are very few non essential businesses and we didn’t ever have a hard shutdown anyway, so reopening is kind of a non event. Younger people buy and leave groceries etc. on doorsteps for aged relatives and neighbors so the most at risk are pretty well protected.

I don’t know what outfits like the CDC are recommending for testing at schools etc. Aren’t most Europeans back to school? Haven’t heard any problems there yet. I know of a small private school that didn’t shut down in my state. They have run a very active summer program as well with no problems. But my state isn’t a hotbed like New Jersey or now Florida and CA either.

 

Aww. You are lucky to have two loves of your life. You are on the right track - cherish each moment!

 

He is ten YO.
When we met he was a mere puppy piker! (His name is "Spike")
He goes with us on my Trike I made! Not ours but very similar. I fabricated a dog cage under it. If I have it parked in leash range, he hops right in it.

 

Wow. That is awesome. You should patent it! ;-0

 

The open facilities and closed facilities sounds like a good approach. I wonder how many unused buildings could be used to keep things separated. It's an interesting idea, for sure.

Yes, basically same here. We did have some shortages in the grocery stores but they are mostly full now. I just don't see schools opening up due to how slowly things are returning to our "new normal".

Thanks for sharing.

 

I'm on build #3 now. This one has a disc brake on the back wheel and will be powder coated. It's for a Mother with a 2 and 7 year old. I really should charge way more but it's a side hobby.

 

Cool. As they say, "Do what you love, and you'll never work a day in your life!"