Yo momma ... . What had gotten into her ... . And did she get that slap by the doctor when she gave birth to you? But back to a more "serious" note, this thread would like to open another taboo violating discussion, this time about the sanctity of child welfare. Child welfare is mostly by 2 components, state subsidies and your very own child support payment. Mainly your child support payment. A child support payment is a court order for the well being of a child, and is obligated through one parent. If it goes missing, the child goes hungry. But here is the kicker. How many children would actually starve to death without it? And more interestingly, will growing up hungry make you a worse person than growing up as a beneficiary of something? I risk to say, that growing up hungry actually makes you a BETTER person, see historic references such as even a few US founding fathers. So what exactly is that child welfare (including child support) is invented to accomplish? The best interest of a child? Let's see what child welfare/support actually accomplishes. 1. The child learns that a single parent family is the norm, not even a nuclear two-parent one. 2. The child learns that money comes from somewhere else, not work, so you get "born" with the sense of entitlement. 3. The child goes neglected by the overworked custodial parent (if working but 50% don't) and grows up to seek not partnership but control in his/her adolescent relationships. And this repeats the cycle, generationally. Bravo, congratulations, another mind control we all are so eager to submit ourselves to. I bet nobody would stop to look how happy we are to replace each other's company with money guaranteed by court orders. So, let me propose that in future legislations, child support be ordered only if domestic violence can be proven. I wonder what your opinions are about this alternative view of parenthood.
Do you understand that child support is vested in the child because the State doesn't want to pay for raising your kids?
Does the sate HAVE to contribute? My proposal (tacitely) includes that there would be no state subsidies so that the child can go hungry, and the family has no pretences after divorce in form of money by a court order.
Does the sate HAVE to contribute? My proposal (tacitely) includes that there would be no state subsidies so that the child can go hungry, and the family has no pretences after divorce in form of money by a court order.
Domestic violence has nothing to do with child support. It may determine custody or visitation , but child support is owed to the child. Are you a child yourself?
My first wife and I split because we both saw that it was over. and rather than try to hold on til we both ended up hating each other, we decided to get divorced. We had one child together. I gladly agreed to pay child support, even tho my ex was making enough to provide for both of them. It was my responsibility to make sure that he never had to worry about where his next meal was coming from, or if he was going to have a roof over his head. My ex used the money to make sure he had decent clothes and make sure that the bills were paid. As far as I know, she never used the money on anything that was strictly for herself. I realize that our case may be an exception to the norm, but IMO, since I helped to create the child, I was and still am responsible for him. Now he's trying to make me a grandpa. BTW, my ex and I remain friends to this day. And my son and I are almost as close as if I had been there everyday. It all comes down to how the custodial parent chooses to use the child support money. Unfortunately, too many of them waste it, instead of using it in the manner it is supposed to be used.
You behaved like rational and loving adults.. and you have made the best of it for the sake of your son.. BRAVO.
I think you are proving my point. Why should I want people to owe me, or an entire system indebting people, and why should I seek to control other people's money? This is not about children, as evident. This is about individuals (parents) legislating control over other people's money. To some degree I am a child, to some degree I am an adult. What are you? Further proof to my point.
Thank you. Exactly what I wanted to talk about. But, more importantly, you were STILL beaten up by court orders even though you had all intentions to stay in the life of your kid. I must say that any kid is better off hungry than a court order beating his father even if the father pays over and beyond. It is a bad thing for anybody to get indoctrinated into entitlement. (Especially when being a tool for it, and then later re-introducing the cycle.)
Bravo, you and your wife detected a problem and decided to apply intelligent reasoning to solve it and while the solution was not the perfect one, it is by FAR better that anything you would have done based on emotion. If only more people could approach issues the way you have done we would live in a far better world and with a lot fewer abortions. My compliments to you and your ex.
