Humorous Business Signs:

In a Podiatrist's Office:
'Time wounds all heels'

On a Plumber's Truck:
'Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.'

On a Church's Billboard:
'7 days without God makes one weak.'

At a Tire Store:
'Invite us to your next blowout.'

On an Electrician's truck:
'Let us remove your shorts.'

In a Non-smoking Area:
'If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.'

On a Maternity Room door:
'Push.. Push. Push..'

At an Optometrist's Office:
'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.'

On a Taxidermist's window:
'We really know our stuff.'

On a Fence:
'Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!'

At a Car Dealership:
'The best way top get back on your feet--miss a car payment.'

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.'

Outside a Car Exhaust Store:
'No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.'

In a Vetenarian's waiting room:
'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'

In a Restaurant window:
'Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.'

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
'Drive carefully. We'll wait.'

Radiator Shop:
'Best place in town to take a leak.'

On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

Sign on the back of yet another Septic Tank Truck:
'Caution-This Truck is full of Political Promises'

 

True slogan

Used by a local ironworkers company here...
"We gain your affections with our big erections..."