LOL, we only ever go to tea because Mrs M loves English traditions, and Julie quite likes tea and scones etc. Frankly, I would rather have a drink. I have not now, or ever, admitted to being interested in Mrs M (who is definitely not a 'cougar',) in the sexual sense - like I said, she is a year older than my mum.
You described Mrs M (is she married?) as a fashion model back in Germany, and is in terrific shape for a woman her age - but really, she could get anyone, why would she be interested in someone like me?, the subtext of which is you hold her in high status. Which means that if you two are alone and she wants it, she's gonna get it. ;P Here's what you do. You surprise your GF with a secret date instead of the tea and crumpets or whatever. But up till that day, you make her think that you are going to tea and you really want her to come with you but if she doesn't you're going by yourself. If it starts to turn into a fight, don't let it. If she starts to make other plans, don't let her. Then as you're off to tea take her on that secret date instead. Then you reaffirm your feeling for the GF, and tell her why she's important to you. Then try and get her to boink you in public, but courageously, barely hold out until you get home. Enjoy the wild jungle booty sex.
Women who are 'up in age' are very experienced in capitalizing on the psychological complexes and/or weaknesses of the male psyche and they can very much be predators to such prey they deem vulnerable and innocent similarly as older men when they prey on younger women, so having money or the lack thereof has no relevance and actually could make you more attractive to her because it makes you appear weaker. Thus your fair lady Julie has a natural instinct to sense such threats in a courtship ritual as a young lioness senses the threat of the elder lioness seducing the future male lion king who is next in succession to the throne of the lions den. Therefore we should not unfairly criticize her, she has a legitimate fear and to possibly resolve such a predicament it may be wise to end contact with Mrs. M.
Dump the young paranoid whiner immediately...You are just seeing the tip of the iceberg with this broad. You can bet that she will be a thorn in your side for as long as you put up with her...If the older woman really is attracted to you and pretty hot, start nailing her. She sounds like a lot more fun anyway. Then bide your time until you are able to connect with a woman your age who isn't a neurotic dooshbag...Good Luck
First of all, Leo, I never once implied that YOU were after Mrs. M.... your whole post was about your gf's vibes about her, so why would I think that? And I'm sure your gf is beautiful, intelligent and sexy - never implied otherwise..... You're 18 and naive and I do not mean that in an insulting way - 99% of 18 yr olds of both sexes are naive...... they just don't have any life experiences under their belt at that age. Give yourself another 20 yrs and you'll be a different guy.... a lot wiser.... I hope....... So, you're puzzled by Julie's allegations about Mrs. M.... what you need to do is sit down w/your Julie and listen to her. The trouble w/many men is they don't really hear what the woman is saying and this is why the communication line breaks down, then the relationship goes belly up..... As I - and some other posters have already said - us females can pick up the signals/the body language from another woman who's subtly hitting on a guy, whereas he doesn't see it ... and being you're only 18 and most likely never had this type of experience b/f, you don't know what's happening - but your Julie can see it - b/c she's a woman.... get used to it, Leo. That's the way it is w/us females..... I had posted 3 signs of a woman hitting on a guy w/o him knowing it - did you read them? Is Mrs. M doing any of these? and a 4th one is she always needs your help w/something..... Maybe Julie really is reading more into this and all Mrs. M wants to do is mother you, but listen to your gal and try to see the situation from her point of view....
Thanks for that helpful post Hummingbird. I dunno about being naive, but you are right that I have not been in this position before, and I appreciate your advice. Also, Julie is a few years older than me, so maybe she has seen stuff before which makes her suspicious. And I guess Mrs M doesn't realise she is doing stuff like straightening my tie (when I was in uniform) or dusting my jacket (the sort of thing a mum does when you are going outside). Even though I am used to it, I do find that a bit inappropriate at my age. So maybe I can diplomatically ask her not to do that, and gently remind her that I am not 15 any more. So I will take your advice and listen carefully to what Julie says about the whole thing. It is just that she is in a bit of a mood at the moment, so it may take time.
You are oblivious to a woman's emotions. Julie is gonna dump you. I guarantee it, bro. It might not be tomorrow or the day after, but you're gonna get dumped. But when it happens, move on, lesson learned.
I'm sure where Leo attends school at Hogwarts, there is a no fraternization policy between teachers and students.
crikey a bit confused here myself now, what if there is dust on the jacket over the bum area? hmmm...this could be interpreted as innocent or a tease quite a predicament .
Leo, if your girlfriend is uncomfortable with the situation, listen to her. I use to think the whole thing with women being able to pick up on signals men couldn't catch with an aluminum foil covered satellite dish the size of Texas was a myth. My wife proved me wrong. She could spend five minutes with another woman with me right there and she would come away with insights that made me question if we were at the same conversation. She also has a perfect record in every case where the truth became known, which was most of them. I have since given up trying to play that game and now I just listen to her insight. You have to make the same decision I had to make before I got married. Can you live with your significant other dictating who you can and cannot spend time with alone? If you can, just listen to her. If you can't, find someone who is more tolerant. From scanning this thread, it seems like the majority of people are giving the same advice.
Oh god this is painful to read. And having liberal minority in this thread who is probably the most clueless person in the world when it comes to women doesn't help. Never ever listen to his advice on women. Yes the ex-German fashion model wants your johnson. Not you. Not your emotional support. Not your super intelligence. She wants that thing between your legs. This might sound crude but you are a young man with enough led in your pencil to give her what she wants and only what she wants. The last thing she wants is commitment. One of the reason women become cougars is that men their own age are looking to settle down. Trust me young man when your hit your 30s the song Desperado starts to make a lot of sense. Many older divorced women don't want that so they pray on younger men who can go like the energizer bunny and have no interest in committing to a relationship with a woman twice their age. She is giving you signals a plenty. Women do not touch men by accident. When they break the touch barrier they know full well what they are doing. She knows full well what she is doing. You don't! Here are the facts. #1 You aren't going to marry our girlfriend. #2 Your girlfriend is very close to dumping you. #3 Sometime in your 30s or mid to late 20s if you are lucky you will learn how to read body language and women's signals. #4 When that happens you will remember all the time you spend with Mrs M and all the signals you were oblivious to. #5 You will be kicking yourself in the ass for not having wild no strings no taboo sex with Mrs. M. My advice screw your girlfriend and screw Mrs. M. After you have screwed Mrs. M you will have suddenly aged about 10 years emotionally and you will most likely dump your girlfriend. You will enjoy your 20s and in your late 20s early 30s you will finally settle down with some beautiful women your age who loves you in part because for some reason you seem to understand her better than most men and enjoy the rest of your life. And you will never speak of Mrs. M to her ever!
Making no claims to know women, I'm still going to disagree with some of the men on this topic. A woman can flirt and not want to take it to the "next level." It's possible this woman, fearing middle age, wants to make sure she hasn't "lost it," and is being flirty to validate her attractiveness from a younger man. Flirtatiousness does not equal "let's go to bed." Despite the "Cougar" phenomenon popularized by Hollywood, women seek an emotional bond...unless of course we're talking about damaged individuals..and those types I would steer clear of... Divert immediately.
To me it doesn't matter. I love my wife dearly. I would never even DREAM of cheating on her. IF some woman were to flirt with me, fine. So be it. It happens and has happened on several occasions since I've been married. IF some woman wants to flirt with me and try to sleep with me, she will have to live with disappointment because it isn't going to happen. That isn't the point. The point is my wife doesn't like women flirting with me. It has nothing to do with her trusting me. She trusts me. I've earned that. It has everything to do with her security and how she feels. I've dropped friendships I enjoyed because she did not feel comfortable with them. My wife and my marriage are far more important to me than those friendships were, so for me it was a no brainer. Not everyone is alike. Judging from these forums, one would be hard pressed to find two people that have more than a handfull of similarities. For me it is easy; my wife's happiness trumps women who flirt. Period. For others it won't be so cut and dried. Understand where your significant other is coming from (men get insecure too!) and respect what they feel. If you can't, maybe it is time to move on and try to find someone you are more compatible with.
Yeah right. It could be as simple as ...put a woman beside a more impressive specimen and she can instantly turn green... Women don't like being in the company of better looking women. They can totally lose all sight of reason. They can also be very nasty toward better looking specimens.
I don't to think of sexually assertive older women as damaged just more grown up. Men and women seem to follow an inverse path. Many young men want to fool around many young women want emotional attachment and commitment. Many older men want emotional attachment and commitment many older women want to fool around. Despite your age I think you have a problem pedestaling women and not realizing that they are still sexual beings and become more so as they get older.
It isn't so much I'm putting women on a pedestal as more pointing out to men, and their over-inflated egos, that a woman saying hello does not equate to them wanting to jump their bones. Women have more at stake in the mating game. It's possible this particular 40 y/o in the story does indeed want more, but it's also possible it's flirting and nothing more. This isn't placing them on a pedestal, it's not joining the fray and throwing them into the gutter.
agreed its the same with men.... i listen to this song when i feel like that [video=youtube;tMPB56KiQX8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMPB56KiQX8[/video]
Well, good! A little serious heart-to-heart chat w/Julie about how she views Mrs. M. and why she feels why she does might enlighten you about some women and if Julie mentions some of the things I'd mentioned - she often touches you. stands close to you, directs most of her conversation to only you.... well, you need to think long and hard about it b/c those are some of the traits of that type of woman. I've always applied a rule to a guy standing real close to me when it's not necessary. I started doing this when I was working. One particular bozo always stood to close to me just to talk about the weather and I didn't like it. I'd take a step backwards and he'd take a step forward, so I wasn't getting anyplace w/being polite. One day I saw him heading towards me and when he got close enuf, I stuck my arm out in front of me w/palm up and w/my other hand I waved it back n forth b/t my hand and shoulder saying 'this is my private area and you can't enter it." He took the hint.... if this gal is doing that, you need to work at keeping her at arm's length...... The one other thing you really need to pay attention to is how often does she call you to help her? Also, when she asks you to do some chore for her, is she aware Julie is w/you? Believe me, if a 40 yr old woman has no personal interest in an 18 yr old guy and knows he has his gf w/him, she'll leave him alone........ seriously. A well-manned, motherly type would feel like she was imposing and wouldn't do it. About 8 yrs ago, this woman moved next door to me. I met her, one day while having coffee, she mentioned her bf ... when she said he was 22, I just about swallowed the cup itself...... she was 54. They're out there, Leo .... waiting for you..... lol. And btw, Julie being in a bit of a mood is normal....probably having a bit of PMS, which stands for 'Pass Me my Shotgun'.......
Is anyone else privy to the Leo2/Hummingbird mutual masturbation subtext that is going on in this thread? That is rhetorical, because of course you do...
