One thing leads to another

It was a dark and stormy night. The driving snow made it impossible to keep the old buick on the road. The Buick slid off the road and into the freezing water of a creek. Of course the tires being bald didn't help matters any. which, had it not been for last weekends events, would have been replaced.
Tony felt the flood of ice water against his skin. As he dragged himself to the bank, his wet clothes clinging to his body, he noticed a numbness a creeping into his fingers and toes. He realized time was of the essence if he were to survive. He knew that he had to get warm if he was going to survive.

Nighttime was fast approaching as was a cold sleepy feeling when in the distance Tony heard a woman's voice yelling, "Are you alright?"

He tried to see her in the darkness, but couldn't. Then suddenly, she came into view...

An outline vague, a welcomed shape an angel appearing in this time and place an answer to Tony's prayers. It was Sarah Palin.

'Oh, (*)(*)(*)(*)' Tony thought. He'd never met anyone at all. It was all in his head.

So Tony set off alone in search of help. Walking along the road, he noticed lights up ahead. The lights got closer, and Tony saw a velociraptor with lazer eyes.

Tony turned and ran as fast as he could but the raptor was faster. Tony slipped and fell into a hole and he tumbled down down, into..Sarah Palin's lap. So it wasn't all in his head after all, Sarah was there!

She was wearing a short miniskirt and red lipstick and her high heels were at least six inches. She looked at Tony then dropped to her knees, which were now squarely planted in the center of the velocipede's nest. In one fluid motion, the trilla from Wassila removed a hunting knife from her snow boot and sliced the neck of the dinosaur halfway across.

The dinosaur, a 22 term Liberal Congressman from New Jersey, died instantly. "That's a good start!" Sarah proudly declared. Tony looked in in a mixture of horror and relief and realized there was only one thing to do now, he took her to Denny's for dinner. However the FDA had shut down the local Denny's due to a goose infestation. So instead they decided to go out on the lake with a parachute, as Tony could think of nothing that would be more exciting that Sara Palin parasalin'.

All was going well until Sarah's parachute failed to open and she plunged into the water. When she didn't come up again, Tony started to panic.

 

It was a dark and stormy night. The driving snow made it impossible to keep the old buick on the road. The Buick slid off the road and into the freezing water of a creek. Of course the tires being bald didn't help matters any. which, had it not been for last weekends events, would have been replaced.
Tony felt the flood of ice water against his skin. As he dragged himself to the bank, his wet clothes clinging to his body, he noticed a numbness a creeping into his fingers and toes. He realized time was of the essence if he were to survive. He knew that he had to get warm if he was going to survive.

Nighttime was fast approaching as was a cold sleepy feeling when in the distance Tony heard a woman's voice yelling, "Are you alright?"

He tried to see her in the darkness, but couldn't. Then suddenly, she came into view...

An outline vague, a welcomed shape an angel appearing in this time and place an answer to Tony's prayers. It was Sarah Palin.

'Oh, (*)(*)(*)(*)' Tony thought. He'd never met anyone at all. It was all in his head.

So Tony set off alone in search of help. Walking along the road, he noticed lights up ahead. The lights got closer, and Tony saw a velociraptor with lazer eyes.

Tony turned and ran as fast as he could but the raptor was faster. Tony slipped and fell into a hole and he tumbled down down, into..Sarah Palin's lap. So it wasn't all in his head after all, Sarah was there!

She was wearing a short miniskirt and red lipstick and her high heels were at least six inches. She looked at Tony then dropped to her knees, which were now squarely planted in the center of the velocipede's nest. In one fluid motion, the trilla from Wassila removed a hunting knife from her snow boot and sliced the neck of the dinosaur halfway across.

The dinosaur, a 22 term Liberal Congressman from New Jersey, died instantly. "That's a good start!" Sarah proudly declared. Tony looked in in a mixture of horror and relief and realized there was only one thing to do now, he took her to Denny's for dinner. However the FDA had shut down the local Denny's due to a goose infestation. So instead they decided to go out on the lake with a parachute, as Tony could think of nothing that would be more exciting that Sara Palin parasalin'.

All was going well until Sarah's parachute failed to open and she plunged into the water. When she didn't come up again, Tony started to panic.

"My God!" he exclaimed, "I've killed the next first female President of the United States". Not wanting to be known as the person who was responsible for the death of the 'You Can't Blink' movement Tony dove into the water to save Sarah. He came up repeatedly for breath as he searched the murky depths. Just when all seemed lost something truly amazing happened....

 

It was a dark and stormy night. The driving snow made it impossible to keep the old buick on the road. The Buick slid off the road and into the freezing water of a creek. Of course the tires being bald didn't help matters any. which, had it not been for last weekends events, would have been replaced.
Tony felt the flood of ice water against his skin. As he dragged himself to the bank, his wet clothes clinging to his body, he noticed a numbness a creeping into his fingers and toes. He realized time was of the essence if he were to survive. He knew that he had to get warm if he was going to survive.

Nighttime was fast approaching as was a cold sleepy feeling when in the distance Tony heard a woman's voice yelling, "Are you alright?"

He tried to see her in the darkness, but couldn't. Then suddenly, she came into view...

An outline vague, a welcomed shape an angel appearing in this time and place an answer to Tony's prayers. It was Sarah Palin.

'Oh, (*)(*)(*)(*)' Tony thought. He'd never met anyone at all. It was all in his head.

So Tony set off alone in search of help. Walking along the road, he noticed lights up ahead. The lights got closer, and Tony saw a velociraptor with lazer eyes.

Tony turned and ran as fast as he could but the raptor was faster. Tony slipped and fell into a hole and he tumbled down down, into..Sarah Palin's lap. So it wasn't all in his head after all, Sarah was there!

She was wearing a short miniskirt and red lipstick and her high heels were at least six inches. She looked at Tony then dropped to her knees, which were now squarely planted in the center of the velocipede's nest. In one fluid motion, the trilla from Wassila removed a hunting knife from her snow boot and sliced the neck of the dinosaur halfway across.

The dinosaur, a 22 term Liberal Congressman from New Jersey, died instantly. "That's a good start!" Sarah proudly declared. Tony looked in in a mixture of horror and relief and realized there was only one thing to do now, he took her to Denny's for dinner. However the FDA had shut down the local Denny's due to a goose infestation. So instead they decided to go out on the lake with a parachute, as Tony could think of nothing that would be more exciting that Sara Palin parasalin'.

All was going well until Sarah's parachute failed to open and she plunged into the water. When she didn't come up again, Tony started to panic.

"My God!" he exclaimed, "I've killed the next first female President of the United States". Not wanting to be known as the person who was responsible for the death of the 'You Can't Blink' movement Tony dove into the water to save Sarah. He came up repeatedly for breath as he searched the murky depths. Just when all seemed lost something truly amazing happened....

Sarah burst out of the water, gasping for air. Tony thought about what this could mean. Sarah, the next possible President of the United States. He couldn't allow that, so he made a decision.

 

He slashed open his wrist with his pocketknife. "That ought to get the sharks' attention," he said, chuckling, pure madness in his eyes. Then he lept into the water, cackling madly. "Together forever, Sarah! If I can't have you to myself in this world then in the next!"
Hearing this...

 

It was a dark and stormy night. The driving snow made it impossible to keep the old buick on the road. The Buick slid off the road and into the freezing water of a creek. Of course the tires being bald didn't help matters any. which, had it not been for last weekends events, would have been replaced.
Tony felt the flood of ice water against his skin. As he dragged himself to the bank, his wet clothes clinging to his body, he noticed a numbness a creeping into his fingers and toes. He realized time was of the essence if he were to survive. He knew that he had to get warm if he was going to survive.

Nighttime was fast approaching as was a cold sleepy feeling when in the distance Tony heard a woman's voice yelling, "Are you alright?"

He tried to see her in the darkness, but couldn't. Then suddenly, she came into view...

An outline vague, a welcomed shape an angel appearing in this time and place an answer to Tony's prayers. It was Sarah Palin.

'Oh, (*)(*)(*)(*)' Tony thought. He'd never met anyone at all. It was all in his head.

So Tony set off alone in search of help. Walking along the road, he noticed lights up ahead. The lights got closer, and Tony saw a velociraptor with lazer eyes.

Tony turned and ran as fast as he could but the raptor was faster. Tony slipped and fell into a hole and he tumbled down down, into..Sarah Palin's lap. So it wasn't all in his head after all, Sarah was there!

She was wearing a short miniskirt and red lipstick and her high heels were at least six inches. She looked at Tony then dropped to her knees, which were now squarely planted in the center of the velocipede's nest. In one fluid motion, the trilla from Wassila removed a hunting knife from her snow boot and sliced the neck of the dinosaur halfway across.

The dinosaur, a 22 term Liberal Congressman from New Jersey, died instantly. "That's a good start!" Sarah proudly declared. Tony looked in in a mixture of horror and relief and realized there was only one thing to do now, he took her to Denny's for dinner. However the FDA had shut down the local Denny's due to a goose infestation. So instead they decided to go out on the lake with a parachute, as Tony could think of nothing that would be more exciting that Sara Palin parasalin'.

All was going well until Sarah's parachute failed to open and she plunged into the water. When she didn't come up again, Tony started to panic.

"My God!" he exclaimed, "I've killed the next first female President of the United States". Not wanting to be known as the person who was responsible for the death of the 'You Can't Blink' movement Tony dove into the water to save Sarah. He came up repeatedly for breath as he searched the murky depths. Just when all seemed lost something truly amazing happened....

Sarah burst out of the water, gasping for air. Tony thought about what this could mean. Sarah, the next possible President of the United States. He couldn't allow that, so he made a decision.
He slashed open his wrist with his pocketknife. "That ought to get the sharks' attention," he said, chuckling, pure madness in his eyes. Then he lept into the water, cackling madly. "Together forever, Sarah! If I can't have you to myself in this world then in the next!"
Hearing this, Palin decided she had to fight for her life. She fought the waves of water washing over her. She reached out and grabbed...

 

her Swiss Army knife in one hand and her tommy-gun in the other .

 

It was a dark and stormy night. The driving snow made it impossible to keep the old buick on the road. The Buick slid off the road and into the freezing water of a creek. Of course the tires being bald didn't help matters any. which, had it not been for last weekends events, would have been replaced.
Tony felt the flood of ice water against his skin. As he dragged himself to the bank, his wet clothes clinging to his body, he noticed a numbness a creeping into his fingers and toes. He realized time was of the essence if he were to survive. He knew that he had to get warm if he was going to survive.

Nighttime was fast approaching as was a cold sleepy feeling when in the distance Tony heard a woman's voice yelling, "Are you alright?"

He tried to see her in the darkness, but couldn't. Then suddenly, she came into view...

An outline vague, a welcomed shape an angel appearing in this time and place an answer to Tony's prayers. It was Sarah Palin.

'Oh, (*)(*)(*)(*)' Tony thought. He'd never met anyone at all. It was all in his head.

So Tony set off alone in search of help. Walking along the road, he noticed lights up ahead. The lights got closer, and Tony saw a velociraptor with lazer eyes.

Tony turned and ran as fast as he could but the raptor was faster. Tony slipped and fell into a hole and he tumbled down down, into..Sarah Palin's lap. So it wasn't all in his head after all, Sarah was there!

She was wearing a short miniskirt and red lipstick and her high heels were at least six inches. She looked at Tony then dropped to her knees, which were now squarely planted in the center of the velocipede's nest. In one fluid motion, the trilla from Wassila removed a hunting knife from her snow boot and sliced the neck of the dinosaur halfway across.

The dinosaur, a 22 term Liberal Congressman from New Jersey, died instantly. "That's a good start!" Sarah proudly declared. Tony looked in in a mixture of horror and relief and realized there was only one thing to do now, he took her to Denny's for dinner. However the FDA had shut down the local Denny's due to a goose infestation. So instead they decided to go out on the lake with a parachute, as Tony could think of nothing that would be more exciting that Sara Palin parasalin'.

All was going well until Sarah's parachute failed to open and she plunged into the water. When she didn't come up again, Tony started to panic.

"My God!" he exclaimed, "I've killed the next first female President of the United States". Not wanting to be known as the person who was responsible for the death of the 'You Can't Blink' movement Tony dove into the water to save Sarah. He came up repeatedly for breath as he searched the murky depths. Just when all seemed lost something truly amazing happened....

Sarah burst out of the water, gasping for air. Tony thought about what this could mean. Sarah, the next possible President of the United States. He couldn't allow that, so he made a decision.
He slashed open his wrist with his pocketknife. "That ought to get the sharks' attention," he said, chuckling, pure madness in his eyes. Then he lept into the water, cackling madly. "Together forever, Sarah! If I can't have you to myself in this world then in the next!"
Hearing this, Palin decided she had to fight for her life. She fought the waves of water washing over her. She reached out and grabbed...her Swiss Army knife in one hand and her tommy-gun in the other.

All of a sudden MacGyver jumped up and grabbed her gun, and tossed it into the water, where it sank. Sarah argued but Mac said you don't need guns, just your wits. This began a long argument on the rights of citizens to own a firearm.

 

It was a dark and stormy night. The driving snow made it impossible to keep the old buick on the road. The Buick slid off the road and into the freezing water of a creek. Of course the tires being bald didn't help matters any. which, had it not been for last weekends events, would have been replaced.
Tony felt the flood of ice water against his skin. As he dragged himself to the bank, his wet clothes clinging to his body, he noticed a numbness a creeping into his fingers and toes. He realized time was of the essence if he were to survive. He knew that he had to get warm if he was going to survive.

Nighttime was fast approaching as was a cold sleepy feeling when in the distance Tony heard a woman's voice yelling, "Are you alright?"

He tried to see her in the darkness, but couldn't. Then suddenly, she came into view...

An outline vague, a welcomed shape an angel appearing in this time and place an answer to Tony's prayers. It was Sarah Palin.

'Oh, (*)(*)(*)(*)' Tony thought. He'd never met anyone at all. It was all in his head.

So Tony set off alone in search of help. Walking along the road, he noticed lights up ahead. The lights got closer, and Tony saw a velociraptor with lazer eyes.

Tony turned and ran as fast as he could but the raptor was faster. Tony slipped and fell into a hole and he tumbled down down, into..Sarah Palin's lap. So it wasn't all in his head after all, Sarah was there!

She was wearing a short miniskirt and red lipstick and her high heels were at least six inches. She looked at Tony then dropped to her knees, which were now squarely planted in the center of the velocipede's nest. In one fluid motion, the trilla from Wassila removed a hunting knife from her snow boot and sliced the neck of the dinosaur halfway across.

The dinosaur, a 22 term Liberal Congressman from New Jersey, died instantly. "That's a good start!" Sarah proudly declared. Tony looked in in a mixture of horror and relief and realized there was only one thing to do now, he took her to Denny's for dinner. However the FDA had shut down the local Denny's due to a goose infestation. So instead they decided to go out on the lake with a parachute, as Tony could think of nothing that would be more exciting that Sara Palin parasalin'.

All was going well until Sarah's parachute failed to open and she plunged into the water. When she didn't come up again, Tony started to panic.

"My God!" he exclaimed, "I've killed the next first female President of the United States". Not wanting to be known as the person who was responsible for the death of the 'You Can't Blink' movement Tony dove into the water to save Sarah. He came up repeatedly for breath as he searched the murky depths. Just when all seemed lost something truly amazing happened....

Sarah burst out of the water, gasping for air. Tony thought about what this could mean. Sarah, the next possible President of the United States. He couldn't allow that, so he made a decision.
He slashed open his wrist with his pocketknife. "That ought to get the sharks' attention," he said, chuckling, pure madness in his eyes. Then he lept into the water, cackling madly. "Together forever, Sarah! If I can't have you to myself in this world then in the next!"
Hearing this, Palin decided she had to fight for her life. She fought the waves of water washing over her. She reached out and grabbed...her Swiss Army knife in one hand and her tommy-gun in the other.

All of a sudden MacGyver jumped up and grabbed her gun, and tossed it into the water, where it sank. Sarah argued but Mac said you don't need guns, just your wits. This began a long argument on the rights of citizens to own a firearm. Sarah pointed out she'd read in a newspaper she couldn't name that guns reduce crime and also that they're good for shooting animals from helicopters.

MacGyver countered by asking Sarah if she'd ever stopped a crime with a gun. Sarah thought for a minute then blurted out the greatest Palinism of all time...

 

It was a dark and stormy night. The driving snow made it impossible to keep the old buick on the road. The Buick slid off the road and into the freezing water of a creek. Of course the tires being bald didn't help matters any. which, had it not been for last weekends events, would have been replaced.
Tony felt the flood of ice water against his skin. As he dragged himself to the bank, his wet clothes clinging to his body, he noticed a numbness a creeping into his fingers and toes. He realized time was of the essence if he were to survive. He knew that he had to get warm if he was going to survive.

Nighttime was fast approaching as was a cold sleepy feeling when in the distance Tony heard a woman's voice yelling, "Are you alright?"

He tried to see her in the darkness, but couldn't. Then suddenly, she came into view...

An outline vague, a welcomed shape an angel appearing in this time and place an answer to Tony's prayers. It was Sarah Palin.

'Oh, (*)(*)(*)(*)' Tony thought. He'd never met anyone at all. It was all in his head.

So Tony set off alone in search of help. Walking along the road, he noticed lights up ahead. The lights got closer, and Tony saw a velociraptor with lazer eyes.

Tony turned and ran as fast as he could but the raptor was faster. Tony slipped and fell into a hole and he tumbled down down, into..Sarah Palin's lap. So it wasn't all in his head after all, Sarah was there!

She was wearing a short miniskirt and red lipstick and her high heels were at least six inches. She looked at Tony then dropped to her knees, which were now squarely planted in the center of the velocipede's nest. In one fluid motion, the trilla from Wassila removed a hunting knife from her snow boot and sliced the neck of the dinosaur halfway across.

The dinosaur, a 22 term Liberal Congressman from New Jersey, died instantly. "That's a good start!" Sarah proudly declared. Tony looked in in a mixture of horror and relief and realized there was only one thing to do now, he took her to Denny's for dinner. However the FDA had shut down the local Denny's due to a goose infestation. So instead they decided to go out on the lake with a parachute, as Tony could think of nothing that would be more exciting that Sara Palin parasalin'.

All was going well until Sarah's parachute failed to open and she plunged into the water. When she didn't come up again, Tony started to panic.

"My God!" he exclaimed, "I've killed the next first female President of the United States". Not wanting to be known as the person who was responsible for the death of the 'You Can't Blink' movement Tony dove into the water to save Sarah. He came up repeatedly for breath as he searched the murky depths. Just when all seemed lost something truly amazing happened....

Sarah burst out of the water, gasping for air. Tony thought about what this could mean. Sarah, the next possible President of the United States. He couldn't allow that, so he made a decision.
He slashed open his wrist with his pocketknife. "That ought to get the sharks' attention," he said, chuckling, pure madness in his eyes. Then he lept into the water, cackling madly. "Together forever, Sarah! If I can't have you to myself in this world then in the next!"
Hearing this, Palin decided she had to fight for her life. She fought the waves of water washing over her. She reached out and grabbed...her Swiss Army knife in one hand and her tommy-gun in the other.

All of a sudden MacGyver jumped up and grabbed her gun, and tossed it into the water, where it sank. Sarah argued but Mac said you don't need guns, just your wits. This began a long argument on the rights of citizens to own a firearm. Sarah pointed out she'd read in a newspaper she couldn't name that guns reduce crime and also that they're good for shooting animals from helicopters.

MacGyver countered by asking Sarah if she'd ever stopped a crime with a gun. Sarah thought for a minute then blurted out the greatest Palinism of all time....

"Guns don't kill people , People kill people" Sarah then asked MacGyver out on a date

 

It was a dark and stormy night. The driving snow made it impossible to keep the old buick on the road. The Buick slid off the road and into the freezing water of a creek. Of course the tires being bald didn't help matters any. which, had it not been for last weekends events, would have been replaced.
Tony felt the flood of ice water against his skin. As he dragged himself to the bank, his wet clothes clinging to his body, he noticed a numbness a creeping into his fingers and toes. He realized time was of the essence if he were to survive. He knew that he had to get warm if he was going to survive.

Nighttime was fast approaching as was a cold sleepy feeling when in the distance Tony heard a woman's voice yelling, "Are you alright?"

He tried to see her in the darkness, but couldn't. Then suddenly, she came into view...

An outline vague, a welcomed shape an angel appearing in this time and place an answer to Tony's prayers. It was Sarah Palin.

'Oh, (*)(*)(*)(*)' Tony thought. He'd never met anyone at all. It was all in his head.

So Tony set off alone in search of help. Walking along the road, he noticed lights up ahead. The lights got closer, and Tony saw a velociraptor with lazer eyes.

Tony turned and ran as fast as he could but the raptor was faster. Tony slipped and fell into a hole and he tumbled down down, into..Sarah Palin's lap. So it wasn't all in his head after all, Sarah was there!

She was wearing a short miniskirt and red lipstick and her high heels were at least six inches. She looked at Tony then dropped to her knees, which were now squarely planted in the center of the velocipede's nest. In one fluid motion, the trilla from Wassila removed a hunting knife from her snow boot and sliced the neck of the dinosaur halfway across.

The dinosaur, a 22 term Liberal Congressman from New Jersey, died instantly. "That's a good start!" Sarah proudly declared. Tony looked in in a mixture of horror and relief and realized there was only one thing to do now, he took her to Denny's for dinner. However the FDA had shut down the local Denny's due to a goose infestation. So instead they decided to go out on the lake with a parachute, as Tony could think of nothing that would be more exciting that Sara Palin parasalin'.

All was going well until Sarah's parachute failed to open and she plunged into the water. When she didn't come up again, Tony started to panic.

"My God!" he exclaimed, "I've killed the next first female President of the United States". Not wanting to be known as the person who was responsible for the death of the 'You Can't Blink' movement Tony dove into the water to save Sarah. He came up repeatedly for breath as he searched the murky depths. Just when all seemed lost something truly amazing happened....

Sarah burst out of the water, gasping for air. Tony thought about what this could mean. Sarah, the next possible President of the United States. He couldn't allow that, so he made a decision.
He slashed open his wrist with his pocketknife. "That ought to get the sharks' attention," he said, chuckling, pure madness in his eyes. Then he lept into the water, cackling madly. "Together forever, Sarah! If I can't have you to myself in this world then in the next!"
Hearing this, Palin decided she had to fight for her life. She fought the waves of water washing over her. She reached out and grabbed...her Swiss Army knife in one hand and her tommy-gun in the other.

All of a sudden MacGyver jumped up and grabbed her gun, and tossed it into the water, where it sank. Sarah argued but Mac said you don't need guns, just your wits. This began a long argument on the rights of citizens to own a firearm. Sarah pointed out she'd read in a newspaper she couldn't name that guns reduce crime and also that they're good for shooting animals from helicopters.

MacGyver countered by asking Sarah if she'd ever stopped a crime with a gun. Sarah thought for a minute then blurted out the greatest Palinism of all time....

"Guns don't kill people , People kill people" Sarah then asked MacGyver out on a date. But Tony (you know, the guy the story is about) all of the sudden screamed "I found it! I found..."

 

It was a dark and stormy night. The driving snow made it impossible to keep the old buick on the road. The Buick slid off the road and into the freezing water of a creek. Of course the tires being bald didn't help matters any. which, had it not been for last weekends events, would have been replaced.
Tony felt the flood of ice water against his skin. As he dragged himself to the bank, his wet clothes clinging to his body, he noticed a numbness a creeping into his fingers and toes. He realized time was of the essence if he were to survive. He knew that he had to get warm if he was going to survive.

Nighttime was fast approaching as was a cold sleepy feeling when in the distance Tony heard a woman's voice yelling, "Are you alright?"

He tried to see her in the darkness, but couldn't. Then suddenly, she came into view...

An outline vague, a welcomed shape an angel appearing in this time and place an answer to Tony's prayers. It was Sarah Palin.

'Oh, (*)(*)(*)(*)' Tony thought. He'd never met anyone at all. It was all in his head.

So Tony set off alone in search of help. Walking along the road, he noticed lights up ahead. The lights got closer, and Tony saw a velociraptor with lazer eyes.

Tony turned and ran as fast as he could but the raptor was faster. Tony slipped and fell into a hole and he tumbled down down, into..Sarah Palin's lap. So it wasn't all in his head after all, Sarah was there!

She was wearing a short miniskirt and red lipstick and her high heels were at least six inches. She looked at Tony then dropped to her knees, which were now squarely planted in the center of the velocipede's nest. In one fluid motion, the trilla from Wassila removed a hunting knife from her snow boot and sliced the neck of the dinosaur halfway across.

The dinosaur, a 22 term Liberal Congressman from New Jersey, died instantly. "That's a good start!" Sarah proudly declared. Tony looked in in a mixture of horror and relief and realized there was only one thing to do now, he took her to Denny's for dinner. However the FDA had shut down the local Denny's due to a goose infestation. So instead they decided to go out on the lake with a parachute, as Tony could think of nothing that would be more exciting that Sara Palin parasalin'.

All was going well until Sarah's parachute failed to open and she plunged into the water. When she didn't come up again, Tony started to panic.

"My God!" he exclaimed, "I've killed the next first female President of the United States". Not wanting to be known as the person who was responsible for the death of the 'You Can't Blink' movement Tony dove into the water to save Sarah. He came up repeatedly for breath as he searched the murky depths. Just when all seemed lost something truly amazing happened....

Sarah burst out of the water, gasping for air. Tony thought about what this could mean. Sarah, the next possible President of the United States. He couldn't allow that, so he made a decision.
He slashed open his wrist with his pocketknife. "That ought to get the sharks' attention," he said, chuckling, pure madness in his eyes. Then he lept into the water, cackling madly. "Together forever, Sarah! If I can't have you to myself in this world then in the next!"
Hearing this, Palin decided she had to fight for her life. She fought the waves of water washing over her. She reached out and grabbed...her Swiss Army knife in one hand and her tommy-gun in the other.

All of a sudden MacGyver jumped up and grabbed her gun, and tossed it into the water, where it sank. Sarah argued but Mac said you don't need guns, just your wits. This began a long argument on the rights of citizens to own a firearm. Sarah pointed out she'd read in a newspaper she couldn't name that guns reduce crime and also that they're good for shooting animals from helicopters.

MacGyver countered by asking Sarah if she'd ever stopped a crime with a gun. Sarah thought for a minute then blurted out the greatest Palinism of all time....

"Guns don't kill people , People kill people" Sarah then asked MacGyver out on a date. But Tony (you know, the guy the story is about) all of the sudden screamed "I found it! I found...

The engagement ring and then he got on one knee and asked for Sarah's hand in holy matrimony.

 

It was a dark and stormy night. The driving snow made it impossible to keep the old buick on the road. The Buick slid off the road and into the freezing water of a creek. Of course the tires being bald didn't help matters any. which, had it not been for last weekends events, would have been replaced.
Tony felt the flood of ice water against his skin. As he dragged himself to the bank, his wet clothes clinging to his body, he noticed a numbness a creeping into his fingers and toes. He realized time was of the essence if he were to survive. He knew that he had to get warm if he was going to survive.

Nighttime was fast approaching as was a cold sleepy feeling when in the distance Tony heard a woman's voice yelling, "Are you alright?"

He tried to see her in the darkness, but couldn't. Then suddenly, she came into view...

An outline vague, a welcomed shape an angel appearing in this time and place an answer to Tony's prayers. It was Sarah Palin.

'Oh, (*)(*)(*)(*)' Tony thought. He'd never met anyone at all. It was all in his head.

So Tony set off alone in search of help. Walking along the road, he noticed lights up ahead. The lights got closer, and Tony saw a velociraptor with lazer eyes.

Tony turned and ran as fast as he could but the raptor was faster. Tony slipped and fell into a hole and he tumbled down down, into..Sarah Palin's lap. So it wasn't all in his head after all, Sarah was there!

She was wearing a short miniskirt and red lipstick and her high heels were at least six inches. She looked at Tony then dropped to her knees, which were now squarely planted in the center of the velocipede's nest. In one fluid motion, the trilla from Wassila removed a hunting knife from her snow boot and sliced the neck of the dinosaur halfway across.

The dinosaur, a 22 term Liberal Congressman from New Jersey, died instantly. "That's a good start!" Sarah proudly declared. Tony looked in in a mixture of horror and relief and realized there was only one thing to do now, he took her to Denny's for dinner. However the FDA had shut down the local Denny's due to a goose infestation. So instead they decided to go out on the lake with a parachute, as Tony could think of nothing that would be more exciting that Sara Palin parasalin'.

All was going well until Sarah's parachute failed to open and she plunged into the water. When she didn't come up again, Tony started to panic.

"My God!" he exclaimed, "I've killed the next first female President of the United States". Not wanting to be known as the person who was responsible for the death of the 'You Can't Blink' movement Tony dove into the water to save Sarah. He came up repeatedly for breath as he searched the murky depths. Just when all seemed lost something truly amazing happened....

Sarah burst out of the water, gasping for air. Tony thought about what this could mean. Sarah, the next possible President of the United States. He couldn't allow that, so he made a decision.
He slashed open his wrist with his pocketknife. "That ought to get the sharks' attention," he said, chuckling, pure madness in his eyes. Then he lept into the water, cackling madly. "Together forever, Sarah! If I can't have you to myself in this world then in the next!"
Hearing this, Palin decided she had to fight for her life. She fought the waves of water washing over her. She reached out and grabbed...her Swiss Army knife in one hand and her tommy-gun in the other.

All of a sudden MacGyver jumped up and grabbed her gun, and tossed it into the water, where it sank. Sarah argued but Mac said you don't need guns, just your wits. This began a long argument on the rights of citizens to own a firearm. Sarah pointed out she'd read in a newspaper she couldn't name that guns reduce crime and also that they're good for shooting animals from helicopters.

MacGyver countered by asking Sarah if she'd ever stopped a crime with a gun. Sarah thought for a minute then blurted out the greatest Palinism of all time....

"Guns don't kill people , People kill people" Sarah then asked MacGyver out on a date. But Tony (you know, the guy the story is about) all of the sudden screamed "I found it! I found...

The engagement ring and then he got on one knee and asked for Sarah's hand in holy matrimony.

Sarah threw her arms around Tony and thanked him for saving her life. Then she said that she would love to marry Tony, she just had to ask her husband first!