Buckeystown, MD (AP) The American Association of Free-Range Zombies (AAFRZ) announced today that it had awarded well give him a pass status to Congressman Roscoe Bartlett (R-MD if they ever mass together in search of brains. Congressman Bartlett, a member of the Congressional Tea Party and purported member of the original one in 1776, currently serving his 10th term in Congress has recently been in the news for associating Federal student loans with the Shoa/Holocaust, although he has since provided the traditional sorta, kinda Republican semi-apology for that statement (after what he actually said made the news). He is also supposedly under scrutiny by the Federal Election Commission for campaign finance irregularities. Congressman Bartlett, who technically resides in Buckeystown, also lives in a survivalist cabin in West Virginia, which he keeps in case society and government collapse, a cabin equipped with independent power, lots of food, and tinfoil for hats to keep the mind-rays away. The Congressman, who actually has a PhD in a real subject seems, as evidenced by his statements and behavior, to have lost it and has made no recorded efforts to find it again. A representative of the AAFRZ stated that the Congressman no longer qualifies for consideration by the AAFRZ in any search for brains.
