<breathless secret service agent> "MR. PRESIDENT!!!! MR. PRESIDENT!!!!!" "Can't it wait? I'm on the 15th green here and am 23 under par." <enthusiastic nods from his caddy> "No Mr. President, it can't wait, Iran just nuked Jerusalem!!!" "That can wait until I'm finished here you imbecile!! It's not like if I hurry I can un-nuke them!!" "Bur Sir, we have to get you aboard Air Force One right away!!!!" "What on earth for, I can't watch I love Lucy reruns up there." "We've anticipated that sir and have the complete series on DVD and I took the liberty of adding every episode of "The Apprentice" as well including the Last season so you can't see how lame it was without you." "Well, that really should have been done before but good job." "Hurry, sir, Air Force One is waiting!!!" "But why do I need to leave?" "Because uh because <listens to his earpiece> because Kim Jung Un says he got some old soviet ICBMs from the Ukraine and he says if the US retaliates he has three missiles loaded with nukes, one for DC, one for Mar a Lago and one for when he finds out where you are." <from the back of a nearby van> "Please, please, please> " "Oh all right. Will my food be onboard?" "Actually sir we've hired McDonald's and KFC to set up the galley with their equipment and cooks so you'll get it freshly made on board." "Including the wrapping and buckets? " "Yes sir, we know about your collection." "Well, OK then, lead on. But this better not be a hoax." <From van> "YES!!!" and hi fives all around. "How long can we keep him up there?" "With in flight refueling and the fully stocked freezers, months, but we only need to keep him up there for two weeks. " "Won't he suspect something?" "Nah, we had the folks at Fox work up a little video. We'll just put it on a loop. " "Why'd they do that?" "Because we told Hannity that T**** never trusted him and we have a whole filing cabinet devoted to him, or should I say "Black Lives Matter"? " "What has he got to do with BLM? " "Nothing, but it's his safe word when Ann Coulter comes over and it's not for a little chit chat." "I sure hope this works." "It will son, it will."
