You’re going to hate me so much for the pedantry but that’s not really a one-liner because you need the context of the scene for it to be funny. Sorry.
Well obviously only someone who's seen it will recognise it and laugh. Jesus what a bloody pedantic party-pooper you are! 'But I like you!' (shove!!) Do you get that one?
'I learn Eeenglish from aye booook!', and when the dog sitting at the table goes for him - 'He bite me!'
To hotel inspector at 2:20- "Would you care for a rat?" [video=youtube;K_q4S7lZeik]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_q4S7lZeik[/video]
In Cheers - Norm says 'Sammy's a man of few words.' and Diane says 'That's because he doesn't know many!'
A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street, and... Ooooohhhhhh, that's much better...
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time." So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
"Don't tell him Pike!" [video=youtube;bhY-Y0I8DkY]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhY-Y0I8DkY[/video]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVpS4kJ8ZOg Number 4 is best. After 3:50 in it's a long sketch not very funny.
From U Turn (Penn, J Lo, Nolte): "YOUR LIES ARE OLD... ...but ya tell'em pretty good." From Steve Martin: "I think you should get to know a woman before you... ...use and degrade her."
"Play it nice and cool, son, nice and cool, you know what I mean?" [video=youtube;63rcdLeXiU8]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63rcdLeXiU8[/video]