Ask a straight white female anything.

I don't mind doing homemaking and cooking. If I didn't need the money, I would be happy to stay home and take care of the housework, kids and cook every day and every night. If I was independently wealthy, I would be busy traveling the world!

 

Unfortunately, not much real cooking is done in the kitchen these days, w/the fast food and pizza joints out there and the instant, frozen, canned/boxed processed crap in the stores and that's a damn shame. Kids aren't getting the nutrition they need and deserve.........

I learned how to cook when I was 11-12 yrs old and it just became part of my daily life - well, certainly when I had kids and it was always home-cooked. Once in a great while it was McD, but not often......

My husband was in construction and he always had home-cooked meals. One day I decided to be lazy and bought a "Hamburger Helper" boxed dinner. I gave it to him, he ate it. When he was done he looked at me and remember he said "Ok, I ate it, I don't like it and don't ever do that to me again. I want your home-cooked meal!" I didn't get mad and tho't about what he said and knew he was right. I was a stay-at-home mom and had all day to prepare his meal like I'd always done. He did his job which was hard, dirty construction work and his meal at the end of the work day was basically my job during that time......he often cooked on w/e's.......

The deal w/my son was when he was 10, one day it dawned on me "I'm creating a monster!" b/c he had always had a mom and 2 older sisters to take care of his needs........so when he got home from school that day, I was waiting for my 2-legged male primate son w/the deep-cut dimples that I knew would wow the ladies as he got older and wanted my son to be better than these dudes who thinks they're entitled to be waited on b/c they have a handsome face.....bull(*)(*)(*)(*).

 

My Mom was stay at home. Dad goes off to work, Mom manages the kids and household.

 

Same here - and my cinnamon rolls never lasted long. I would also make bread pudding and if there were a few pieces of rolls that went a little hard, I'd throw that in pudding........more flavor and it was good.

 

Now the IRS knows a system to figure out how to calculate the mom's income.

 

I love bread pudding!!!!!!!

 

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Whaaaaat????

 

I think that being a stay at home mom/housewife is a demanding and tiresome job that gets little if any appreciation. If you are a working mom, and you don't have any support at home, it's even worse.

 

Great way to use up old bread....and chunks of cinnamon rolls and pieces of cookies. It's a like a desert.

 

Yes, but reading books isn't one of the job responsibilities of staying at home. I get that stay-at-home moms probably have a lot of time to do other things during their day because the requirements of staying at home are not generally a full-time job...despite the propaganda out there saying that it is...and that was exactly my point. Not to say that there aren't ever times that it may be more time consuming...ie, sping cleaning, raising newborns...but its not consistently year after year a full-time job...especially once the kids are in school.

And that's exactly my point. I don't want to spend my time during the workday reading. I find it far more important to support my husband and children by contributing financially and having money in the bank ensures my and my children's financial safety. My priorities aren't catching up on reading or whatever else. And the extra benefit of working is believe me, I get lots of opportunity to travel and learn new things about the world and train/educate myself while I'm earning for my family. I find it amusing that you think working women don't enrich their lives. I've met most of my friends on global travel and I've been all around the world. Interestingly enough, I generally read about a new place before I visit it...and while reading is great, there is nothing in comparison to the ability to travel and see a place and its people.

My husband wouldn't have the opportunity to sit at home and read during the work week either. I'd have a lot of trouble finding justification for sending him out to work while I did that. I'd just feel guilty and like I wasn't being a good partner.

Like I said, we'll have to agree to disagree. I see the potential of women much differently than you do. I simply think they're far more valuable and have more to offer the world.

 

Mine do the same thing. The current request is for fried squash lol

 

lmao...I love those charts.

The issue is that no one is paying that fee for a SAHM and working moms still do all those things and STILL earn an income. SAHMs generally don't have a lot of financial independence. They dependent on working men for money both during after after marriage dissolution. So men have to have both their children and their spouses or ex-spouse as financial dependents.

And by the way, if that chart was truly accurate...divorced ex-SAHMs would have no issue getting back into the workforce because they're so skilled...and yet, the exact opposite is true. There are a huge group of post-divorce poverty stricken women and children for a reason.

 

I enjoy cleaning/organizing my home and cooking...but I do it to relax after work. There's nothing better than the look, feel and smell of a clean, efficient house and a well cooked meal.

Its simply not equivalent to the challenges of a career. Cleaning and cooking are repetitive, often mindless tasks. I love the mental challenge of working. And frankly, the problem solving and time management that I use at work enriches every other part of my life and has helped me be a better mother.

Our priorities are about having both financial freedom and the opportunity for BOTH of us to be with our kids. My girls needed their dad as much as they needed me.

 

You're right - it IS a 24/7 job, a lot of work, but I'm glad I had those yrs w/my kids and not having to give them to a sitter when they were growing up.....so many funny, priceless memories. And I was lucky b/c often when husband got home and after dinner, I'd leave our 3 terrorists w/him and take our German Shepherd for a stroll thru the park to get away and relax a bit..........

Working moms sure do need support. I went F/T when kids were in school. When I was working for the state, I heard that the Dept of Ecology was hiring teens to clean up the highways, so put my 13-14 yr old son's name on list. That eve I asked him if he wanted a job. I was happy to hear him say 'yes' since he was going to do it anyway - lol......the bus picked up the teens, took them out to the freeways and they picked up litter/trash. Good job for kids and got a paycheck.

But, of course, since that worked and taught kids work ethics, the state stopped doing it......

 

Well, I don't think that stay at home moms work less or that their work is any less challenging and rewarding.

 

Up until the time your children start school they are a full-time job. Once they go off to school, the duties of being a mom do not stop. There are bills to pay, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, and yes if you got a few hours even reading. That you think women are more "valuable" in the work place then at home, then who am I to say you are wrong, even though you are wrong.

But we will have to agree to disagree.

 

I worked before having kids then was a stay at home mom until they started school. We sacrificed financially but I would not trade my time at home with them for ANYTHING. To me, it was more important to be with them during those younger years than having a career. Even after they started school, I went to work for the school to have the same schedule as them. I was still there when they were out of school. My career just took a different course.
Staying home with my kids was more rewarding to me personally than my career. Sure, now I get paid well, have a demanding job, and get to use some of my other talents, but nothing like being there to see my kids grow and learn every day.

Staying home is a choice that ideally both spouses agree with. My husband was great. He wanted me to stay home as much as I did. They were our kids and he wanted me taking care of and raising them. He did what he had to do to see that I could.I didn't feel it demeaning to rely on him financially during those years. Sadly, that is not the case with many, whether staying home or working. There is no support. I feel for women who want to stay home with their kids but can't.

 

I agree with you.

Each person and each situation is different. I didn't find it demeaning to stay home with my kids. It was my job and an extremely rewarding one at that. Much more rewarding than a paycheck. But, like I said, we are all different. Do what works for you. But I certainly will not look down on stay at home moms. They are as valuable to our society as women who work.

 

Yes, every working woman that manages these tasks and actually earns money to help her family is wrong and you are right. Got it.

lol...I literally laughed at "bills to pay". That takes me maybe 10 minutes a week online and I make the money to actually pay them myself. That you count that as something that takes up your day is literally hilarious.

Its no wonder that so many men don't respect women and don't think they don't pull their weight.

Funny enough, younger men are catching on. The only girls my nephews bring around our family are the ones who are educated, hard working and want to financially contribute. A lot of young men won't marry women who don't have the pride to be financially self-sufficient.

And by the way, I spent every single day with both my newborns. I nursed my youngest in my office at work and took her home in the afternoon. My company wanted to retain me because I'm good at what I do so made whatever concessions necessary to keep me. As more women enter the workforce and companies invest in them and need to retain them, there will be more policies like this. Its happening all over the place and enables not only working women to be mothers...but working men to be fathers. No woman should have to make the choice to be a financial dependent and risk her childrens' financial well-being. It is not only possible to raise children and work...eventually it will be the standard...and it can't happen soon enough. Its really tragic that any woman would consider housework the mental equivalent of a career. I'm so glad I've raised my daughters to understand their capabilities and to understand the necessity of not being a financial dependent as adults.

 

Being a homemaker is a career. They dedicate themselves to family.

I completely understand the financial aspects with having both parents working, however there is no loyalty in the corporate world. The era of devoting oneself to a company for three or four decades and getting a gold watch and a pension in exchange for your time and dedication.... are over. Every single employee out there, should consider themselves a free agent.

At least family can't lay you off when business slows down, or when it's cheaper to hire someone younger to replace you, Family is forever. It's a better investment of your time.

 

I think so, too, but not for the reasons you cite. I think corporations demand mobility and constant location changes in order to advance through the ranks. If one or the other already has a good job, or one or the other gets homesick or tired of moving, it's 'sayonara'.

 

No its not a career because the criteria for a career is income being earned.

And certainly you have a point about some companies although that hasn't been my experience. Right now, I'm on vacation...I have 10 weeks of it. I'm literally getting paid a whole lot of money to sit on my patio right now. And my company supported me through a grad degree (which they paid for)...and through the birth and raising of both of my children. In return, I've done the best possible job I could for them and will continue to do so even though I actually am retirement eligible.

As for investing in my family...that's exactly what working women do everyday.

My career has ensured the best possible life and life lessons for my daughter. Its no accident that my oldest daughter is medical school and that my youngest is probably going to get a full ride scholarship to university. They understand what personal responsibility and hard work means. The last thing I wanted to invest in and teach my girls was to rely on someone else for money while letting their amazing abilities atrophy. They've been raised to have pride, self-reliance and have goals to offer the world far more.

 

Oh I've known lots of guys who've gotten really sick of their wives not pulling their weight and divorcing them.

In fact, one of the guys I work with literally gave his now ex-wife an ultimatum to get to work or he was going to divorce her. He was concerned about her sitting around for too long and then having to pay her alimony. I hear a lot of men who are sick and tired of alimony actually and I don't blame them. No man should have to pay a woman part of his hard-earned salary after a marital dissolution.

There are many men that live in fear of alimony and my advice to them is always the same. The second you tolerate a non-working wife, you open yourself up to alimony in the event of a marital breakdown. If you're ok with that (and some men are) then stay with her....otherwise, get a post-nup or even better, make an agreement before marriage that you both work or you'll divorce her.

 

Why do some men attempt to derail a female started thread with some hostile mansplaining?

 

You don't a need a "career" to have income. I have passive income from rental properties. I outsource the property management and maintenance, and my investment to it, in terms of time, is less than 10 hours per week. There is also passive income from stock dividends. I can be sleeping and still be earning income.

“The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only – and that is to support the ultimate career.” -C.S. Lewis